I fucking hate computers...always did...OK, so I have become addicted to video games, message boards, and internet porn (not necessarily in that order)...but other than that...oh and online shopping, love the online shopping...that way I don't have to venture out into the real world, malls are my definition of hell...all that walking wears out my Kleenex boxes don't you know...Oh, and yet another reason to hate the mall...the mall I used to work at as a kid had an unhappy consumer/visitor walk in and blast away at shoppers with an assault rifle last week...woohoo! Anyway, yes I hate malls...but not as much as computers, yes computers, stay on topic...can't blame me really since I have been diagnosed with Severe ADHD by one of them internet poll thingies...oh yeah internet polls I like them too...especially the ones that are like "what kind of feminine hygene product are you?" ...always wondered about that myself...figured I was just a douche...but no...lets just say "the darn things got wings" and leave it at that.....But other than that, I hate computers and have no use for them at all...unless I want to find directions to go somewhere, in which case mapquest is a god send...but then again, who has time to go out when I spend my entire day killing off the microbes that infest every square inch of my apartment and childrens sticky little hands? Lets just say I hate computers...as a starting point...well, so what career do I choose for a living...why, developer of course (see, now that is irony, as defined by websters, not Alanis Morissette)...so I use them every day...in fact some would say that I need them to do my work...and they would be right......I guess I also like the ATM machines for convenience which I guess are computers, that way I don't have to go to the bank and risk exposing myself to the cashier germs....plus, did you ever notice they all play the music that precedes the call "CHARGE!!!!" at football games (that's american football for our international types)? Really, listen the next time you take money out....so anyway...I'm comfortable with my deep seated hatred for all things computer...I mean monkey hate technology...but untill recently I didn't realize that robot hate the monkey.....Recently the computer manufacturers must have installed anti-Gauss chips or something...huh, degauss? Hmmm...maybe it's my screen name? Anyway...over the past 2 months I've become the "Lets get Mikey to try it, he'll eat anything" rotating bitch in my office...I'm now working on 5 projects in 2 languages (with 1 week's training in C#...now go code! Oh did we mention we need it by the end of the month)...not counting PL-SQL and T-SQL database scripts, procedure trigger horse shit....and so far I'm on my 3rd , make that 4th computer.....one could not play nicely with microsoft web services...another had a hard drive failure (lost a weeks worth of work on that one)...yet another was more virus infected than a whore at the Republican National Convention...I've reinstalled XP more times than I can count....NET actually displays a messagebox that says "What, you again?" whenever I install it..... I was joking with one of my 4 bosses a couple of weeks ago after computer 3 went the way of the do-do..."Maybe I should go back to an abacus and paper and pencil"...Well, up to this point my computers were a PITA, but today computer number 4 tried to kill me...well he had help...the surge protector was his accomplice...BZZZZTTT! OW! FUCK!....is that smoke??? FUCK!!! Ohhhh sparks are pretty! I feel dizzy! The plastic is all melty...well at least the shock didn't make me shit my pants.
Now I'm a living joke in my office...the programmer that kills every computer he touches...and now aparently, the computers are fighting back.
PLEASE LOGIN TO SEE ANYTHING.
This measure is inconvenient, yes, but necessary at present.
Click below for more information.
EVERYTHING IS MARKED UNREAD!!
2024 LOGIN/Posting ISSUES
If you cannot Debauch because you get an IP blacklist error, try Debauching again time. It may work immediately, it may take a few attempts. It will work eventually, I don't think I had to click debauch more than three times. Someone is overzealous at our hosting company, but only on the first couple of attempts.
If you have problems logging in, posting, or doing anything else, please get in touch.
You know the email (if you don't, see in the registration info below), you know where to find the Administerrerrerr on the Midget Circus.
Some unpleasant miscreant was firing incessant database queries at our server, which forced the Legal Department of our hosting company, via their Abuse subdivision, to shut us down. No I have none.
All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.
To restrict further overloads, any unregistered users had to be locked out.
How do we know who is or isn't an unregistered user?
By forcing anyone who wants in to Log In.
Is that annoying?
Yes. But there's only so much the Administerrerrerr can do to keep this place running.
Again, if you have any problems: get in touch.
REGISTRATION! NEW USERS!
This measure is inconvenient, yes, but necessary at present.
Click below for more information.
EVERYTHING IS MARKED UNREAD!!
click her for the instant fix
Show
First fix:
Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
As part of that, the server no longer stores what topics you have or haven't read.
IT IS STILL RECORDED!
But now, that information lives in a delicious cookie, rather than the forum database.
Upside: this should reduce the load of database.
Downside: if you use multiple devices to access the board, or you reject delicious cookies, you won't always have that information cookie. But the New Posts feature should take care of that.
PLEASE NOTIFY THE ADMINISTERRERRERR ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS!
- open the menu at the top
- hit New Posts to see what's actually new and browse the new stuff from there
- go back to the Forum Index
- open the menu at the top again
- click Mark forums read
this will zero the unread anything for you, so you can strive forth into the exciting world of the new cookie thing.
Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
As part of that, the server no longer stores what topics you have or haven't read.
IT IS STILL RECORDED!
But now, that information lives in a delicious cookie, rather than the forum database.
Upside: this should reduce the load of database.
Downside: if you use multiple devices to access the board, or you reject delicious cookies, you won't always have that information cookie. But the New Posts feature should take care of that.
PLEASE NOTIFY THE ADMINISTERRERRERR ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS!
2024 LOGIN/Posting ISSUES
Click if you have a problem.
Show
If you cannot Debauch because you get an IP blacklist error, try Debauching again time. It may work immediately, it may take a few attempts. It will work eventually, I don't think I had to click debauch more than three times. Someone is overzealous at our hosting company, but only on the first couple of attempts.
If you have problems logging in, posting, or doing anything else, please get in touch.
You know the email (if you don't, see in the registration info below), you know where to find the Administerrerrerr on the Midget Circus.
Some unpleasant miscreant was firing incessant database queries at our server, which forced the Legal Department of our hosting company, via their Abuse subdivision, to shut us down. No I have none.
All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.
To restrict further overloads, any unregistered users had to be locked out.
How do we know who is or isn't an unregistered user?
By forcing anyone who wants in to Log In.
Is that annoying?
Yes. But there's only so much the Administerrerrerr can do to keep this place running.
Again, if you have any problems: get in touch.
REGISTRATION! NEW USERS!
Registration Information
Show
Automatic registration is disabled for security reasons.
But fear not!
You can register!
Option the First:
Please drop our fearless Administerrerrerr a line.
Tell him who you are, that you wish to join, and what you wish your username to be. The Administerrerrerr will get back to you. If you're human, and you're not a damn spammer, expect a reply within 24 hoursish. Usually quicker, rarely slower.
Unfortunately, the Contact Form is being a total primadonna right now, so please send an email to the obvious address.
Posting this address in clear text is just the "on" switch for spambots, but here is a hint.
Option the Second:
Find us on Facebook, in the magnificent
Umah Thurman Midget Circus
Join up there, or just drop the modmins a message. They will pass any request on to the Administerrerrerr for this place.
But fear not!
You can register!
Option the First:
Please drop our fearless Administerrerrerr a line.
Tell him who you are, that you wish to join, and what you wish your username to be. The Administerrerrerr will get back to you. If you're human, and you're not a damn spammer, expect a reply within 24 hoursish. Usually quicker, rarely slower.
Unfortunately, the Contact Form is being a total primadonna right now, so please send an email to the obvious address.
Posting this address in clear text is just the "on" switch for spambots, but here is a hint.
Option the Second:
Find us on Facebook, in the magnificent
Umah Thurman Midget Circus
Join up there, or just drop the modmins a message. They will pass any request on to the Administerrerrerr for this place.
I'm cursed...or why I hate computers
-
Gauss
- Barista of Doom
- Location: Denver
- Contact:
-
Freek Show
- Magnum Jihad
- Location: A Carbon Planet in an Irregular Galaxy
Hmmmm...I believe I understand this. Seems everyuone has some object of their hatred. If you ever see me about to drive a mini-van, stop me no matter the cost. I've only driven 2....one in Texas in 1986 (I'm sure its dead by now), and the other at a TV station in Denver. The last one died a terrible death climbing to Eisenhower Tunnel. Dull thud from below the vehicle, slight uplift of the body, followed by the sound of large shards of cast metal bouncing down the highway. That's what happens when a transmission has an "anomaly" . That is a confirmed 50% kill ratio me vs. minivans and I see no let up in the essential nature of that relationship. I hate the little fuckers!