now thats coyote ugly...!

Photo · Post by **Photo** » Tue Jul 12, 2005 9:50 am

"I have signed statements and sworn testimony right here that proves Michael Jackson tried to molest me at his Neverland Ranch compound. I'm another victim! No, Really!"

Post by **DerGolgo** » Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:02 am

Neil was despondent after the judge had refused to convict him, now even with his stable of middle-aged ho's he still would not be recognized a pimp by the brothers.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:30 am

"Could you please shut up? I realize this is a driving exam, but, I like, have to make sure Susie isn't going to wear that blue top out to the club tonight, because I was going to wear my blue top, and then there's the issue with shoes. My black fuck me pumps are getting pretty beat so I need to call Lauren to see if she'll let me borrow her new Pradas. She probably won't though, because you know she's kind of a bitch. I think she's just jealous because her ex, Chad and me hooked up after they broke up. I mean WTF, they were broke up right? So it was only two days later, it's not like there were engaged or anything. Besides that Chad is hot and he's got a sweet new CBR600R and told me he would take me for a ride. I don't really get that whole motorcycle thing. Those helmets just mess up my hair and I'm not about to spend three hours getting ready to go out for the evening only to put a stupid helmet on my head. I only wanted to go because Chad is so hot, but of course I fuck him one time and does he ever call me? Of course not. Men are all the same. So if you wouldn't mind I have to call..."

Ames · Post by **Ames** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:33 pm

"Look mister, just because I'm talking, drinking a cup of coffee, and fixing my makeup, doesn't mean you're going to inspire my confidence by sitting next to me looking up life insurance rates."

Midliferider · Post by **Midliferider** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 5:43 am

My pockets hurt!

Hanover Fist · Post by **Hanover Fist** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:50 am

This is not at all what I imagined when the travel agent said "swingers club".

Ames · Post by **Ames** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 10:23 am

"Ughh! If she isn't going to wear underwear, she should at least hose that off."

squeetor · Post by **squeetor** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 12:47 pm

Why does the damn picture keep changing?

Hanover Fist · Post by **Hanover Fist** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:14 pm

Never mind that...did you see the size of that fucking duck?

Gauss · Post by **Gauss** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:22 pm

Reiterating Alladin’s terrorism links, the administration announce that Operation Goofy Freedom had begun at 9:30am EST with a “Shock and Awe” air strike on the suspected Al-Queda stronghold. President Bush also requested that the troops bring him “one of those cool little hats with the ears that says George, or maybe Skippy"

Post by **DerGolgo** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:36 pm

When the Eye of Africa launched it's attack, GAS finally realised that commercial fireworks make a really lousy defense against guided missiles.

Post by **Beemer Dan** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 8:20 am

the plot thickens...

deaconblooz · Post by **deaconblooz** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:10 pm

George the gravedigger was given a promotion to groundskeeper - he's bragging to his friends that he's got over 400 people under him.

Ames · Post by **Ames** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:49 pm

Ever the exhibitionist, Bob arranges to be buried with his wife.

Post by **DerGolgo** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 7:16 pm

"Captain, I still think people will notice where the landing gear is sitting on the ground."
"Don't worry Sulu, in Golden Gate Park maybe but not in a cemetery..."

Ames · Post by **Ames** » Wed Jul 20, 2005 5:34 pm

Mel Brooks opens a school specializing in Borscht Belt Humor.

Hanover Fist · Post by **Hanover Fist** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 2:19 pm

Santa,
I just wanted to say, "You rock". I've been asking for a couple of pounds of crystal meth for years, but I thought you would never come through. Why the change of heart? Was it the pot cookies on the mantle? It looks like it's going to be a white Christmas after all.

Thanks,
Bobby

Hanover Fist · Post by **Hanover Fist** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 10:13 am

Rebecca finaly came to terms with the fact that Tai Chi was, in fact, extremely boring; but the pond of hungry crocodiles really spiced her workout up considerably.

Gauss · Post by **Gauss** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 6:11 am

Shadow theatre being her life's calling, Susan captivated the audience with her classic "Woman with 3 inch nipple changes bar TV's channel"

xtian · Post by **xtian** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 10:56 pm

i'd rather cut both legs and arms rather that watch that stupid parade, barked little tommy while his younger sister stood after him.

boy o boy, daddy sure takes things litteraly lately.

Ames · Post by **Ames** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 12:11 am

Having scored some Viagra, Bob and Mandy head home to "get jiggy with it."

Post by **DerGolgo** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 12:23 am

As he was lead away by his new owner, Dereck the Bitch realised he should have listened to his friend's warning and kicked some ass on the first day inside.

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now thats coyote ugly...!