This is just so wrong

[Thunderbird]

The story that follows is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty to for that matter. I had not thought of this as something I would post here but last Tuesday at streets a number of my fellow UTMC friends suggested that some of you may find this interesting though it is my hope that most of you find what follows disgusting. This is not a story that is for the faint of hart.

Years ago I was working at the now defunct Gou Lan Hospital in Kwa Lun in Hong Kong. A woman came in with the most unusual vaginal discharge that consisted of thousands and thousands of small white wormlike bodies that appeared to be alive. As a young TCM doctor I was both mortified and perplexed. The patient was of course near to hysteria. I new I was in over my head and after taking samples of the discharge (we collected nearly a cup full with no sign that the flow of it was abating) I sought the advice of more senior doctors. We where all stumped. We collectively could find no parasite that was similar and communication with the women was difficult she was hysterical and so while waiting for the pathology labs to come back we decided to sedate her in hopes of coming her down enough so that we could question her more.

She was finally resting when the pathology report came back some hours latter. The report proved to cause even more questions then it answered the thousands of small wormlike creatures where brine shrimp! None of my colleges had an explanation or could come up with a rational for why a woman would be hatching thousands, no millions, of brine shrimp from her vagina. Sadly, as the junior doctor, it fell to me to go back to the woman and find out. As it turned out she had had her husband rap a large lobster in clear plastic rap and then she had put it into her pussy and he or her, I didn’t get who, held a lighter to the lobsters face. This made the lobster squirm and flex his tail. As near as we can figure the lobster in question had had millions of brine shrimp eggs on it which subsequently came off and ended up in her vagina, a warm Ph neutral environment in which they had hatched several days latter.

Let this serve as a warning to all of you to clean any crustation carefully before using it in this way. Personally I find this a rather shellfish way to treat a lobster, using it for ones own gratification in such a cruel way.

[Jaeger]

WHAT


THE


FUCK???






That is... that is... truly foul on so many levels. Wow. Just wow.

This just goes to show: vibrators save lobster lives, and they're probably cheaper too.

Let this serve as a warning to all of you to clean any crustation carefully before using it in this way. Personally I find this a rather shellfish way to treat a lobster, using it for ones own gratification in such a cruel way.

Oh, dude, you just had to go there, din'cha?

--Jaeger

[xtian]

some advice from a commie foreigner; don"t believe everything you read in the paper (ok ok, just kidding, i'm only remotly left winged)

http://www.snopes.com/risque/juvenile/lobster.htm

[SidVicious]

i remember hearing about a woman that went into her local ER for whatever reason it was, for a problem "down there."

long story short, she had maggots coming out of her there.

so, to hell with your brine shrimp.


as to how the maggots got there, i'm not sure. i think it had something to do with her husband eating tuna (of all things) out of her snatch and then wasn't able to get it all out.