To all us Coloradians...

Dobbs · Post by **Dobbs** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 7:39 am

About COLORADANS from a Jeff Foxworthy Show

1. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day.

2. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.

3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from
the mountains.

4. You're a meat-eating vegetarian.

5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your
own special bike lane

6. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard without even flinching.

7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you
would never go there otherwise.

8. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat
Tire Beer.

9. You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.

10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs.

11. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and
spring blizzards

12. You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU's
victory.

13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from
altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.

14. You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't
get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.

15. You know the "correct" pronunciation of Buena Vista.

16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer
and not get a buzz.

17. Your car insurance costs more than your car.

18. You have surge protectors on every outlet.

19. April showers bring May blizzards.

20. "Timberline" is someplace you have actually been.

21. You know what a "Chinook" is

22. You know what a "Rocky Mountain Oyster" is.

23. You know what a "fourteener" is.

24. But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.

25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a
Democrat in Congress does.

26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.

27. You know who Alfred Packer was and did.

28. You know who Baby Doe Tabor was.

29. SPF 90 is not out of the question.

30. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do.

31. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.

32. Thunder has set off your car alarm.

33. A full moon has never kept you awake at night.

34. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck.

35. A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.

36. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.

37. Where we're going, we don't need roads!!

38. You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.

39. You know where Buffalo Bill's grave is.

40. You know where the real "South Park" is.

41. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.

42. Driving directions usually include 'Go over _________ Pass.'

43. You've 'checked for ticks'

44. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka w/ a hood.

45. You've gone snow skiing in July and...

46. You've gone sunbathing in January and...

47. They were in the same year!

48. You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could 'run
into both oceans.

49. And the most important: You get a certain feeling of satisfaction
from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.

50. You actually understand these jokes and send them to your
Colorado friends

beemer pat · Post by **beemer pat** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 6:40 am

ZREXER wrote:About COLORADANS from a Jeff Foxworthy Show

11. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and
spring blizzards

51. You know your not from Colorado if, you think we still get winter all but in the high country.

skydivingbiker · Post by **skydivingbiker** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 6:40 pm

We had a winter?

I moved here from cold states. To me.. it seems like 9 months of summer here.

Then again, I live on the front range east of Boulder.

Metalredneck · Post by **Metalredneck** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 7:14 pm

I grew up(??) in Alberta , where summer is three weeks of bad skiing. With mosquitoes.

purple passion · Post by **purple passion** » Wed May 10, 2006 9:37 pm

i just read this and it makes me miss denvah...

Flat_Black_Rat · Post by **Flat_Black_Rat** » Wed May 10, 2006 9:49 pm

Purple Passion, since the New England crew is seeming to grow, hit us up and we can rip it up... I like the yankee accent on Denver...

purple passion · Post by **purple passion** » Wed May 10, 2006 9:54 pm

youll have to let me know where you guys are at.. my work schedule is banana cakes and gives me only late nights... but im always willing to meet up with utmc.... i tell stories about my buddies from denvah like an old sailor at the bars... if you hear a crazy red head telling these stories around town its me!

Marinesg1012 · Post by **Marinesg1012** » Thu May 11, 2006 6:52 pm

Hey Purple you find a decent party and eric and I will be there