Bite him, then bite his dog... then say it didn't happen.piccini9 wrote:My real problem though is the fact that his dog bit my dog, right in front of both of us, and he says it didn't happen. there's just no talking to someone like that,I can't wait until her kids move in for the Summer. Just fucking shoot me.
Out-crazy him.
Also... follow that up by digging a bunch of little holes in the ground all around the yard... fill them back in... then put little signs next to them that say: "Dildo Trees".
2 days later, stick a branch into each mound of dirt.
Wait 5 more days, take away all of the branches... and then cover his front porch and yard in brightly colored cheap rubber sex toys. (Take them out of the packages)
Go to the porn store... buy the cheapest gnarliest most hardcore gay-midget-horse-tranny porn possible and some cheap pocket pussies. Buy several manila envelopes, Address them to him, name address and all. Deliver a new one or a stack of them to his front porch every few days.
Basically, what I am saying is... you need to go to the adult toy store.
Ring his door every day... wearing a too-small unitard(singlet) and heels and ask him if he wants to come to your "wrestling tournament" always use quotes for "wrestling tournament".
Put balloons and cupcakes labeled "NOT POISONED" on his porch every day. (How could he be mad about cupcakes and balloons?)
Call cops, tell them that you think that your neighbor might be organizing underground dog fights, and for fear of retaliation you wish to remain anonymous. (he did let his dog bite your dog, how do you know he didn't have money on it?)
Next, Mean stuff:
Liquid nail his front door shut. Don't forget the windows.
Take out a craigslist ad offering his car for dirt cheap, $100? Then post his phone number and address.
Do they leave any of their windows open? 2nd story windows?
If so... throw some fancy panties into his bedroom window. He doesn't sound smart enough to keep track of which ones are his lady's... but she knows.
You could also make a fake letter from the sex offender registry informing your neighbors that he needs to notify them that he lives in the neighborhood, put his picture on it and post it on everyone's door in the middle of the night.
Wait, That is probably too far but what do I know...
On second thought... don't do any of that shit... it is probably wrong or illegal or both.
Actually... do the dildo tree thing... post pics.