A while back there was a big long rant (that got way out of hand) about the Woman's Code. Well, I thought I'd restoke the embers and throw this at ya. Since we have a majority male audience, here, I wanted to let y'all sound off. The article is written by a man and is titled A 'Perfect' Husband Tells All - 10 secrets to keeping your wife (& life) happy.
http://fitness.msn.com/articles/feeds/a ... d>1=5100
*ducks into foxhole*
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this will zero the unread anything for you, so you can strive forth into the exciting world of the new cookie thing.
Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
As part of that, the server no longer stores what topics you have or haven't read.
IT IS STILL RECORDED!
But now, that information lives in a delicious cookie, rather than the forum database.
Upside: this should reduce the load of database.
Downside: if you use multiple devices to access the board, or you reject delicious cookies, you won't always have that information cookie. But the New Posts feature should take care of that.
PLEASE NOTIFY THE ADMINISTERRERRERR ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS!
2024 LOGIN/Posting ISSUES
Click if you have a problem.
Show
If you cannot Debauch because you get an IP blacklist error, try Debauching again time. It may work immediately, it may take a few attempts. It will work eventually, I don't think I had to click debauch more than three times. Someone is overzealous at our hosting company, but only on the first couple of attempts.
If you have problems logging in, posting, or doing anything else, please get in touch.
You know the email (if you don't, see in the registration info below), you know where to find the Administerrerrerr on the Midget Circus.
Some unpleasant miscreant was firing incessant database queries at our server, which forced the Legal Department of our hosting company, via their Abuse subdivision, to shut us down. No I have none.
All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.
To restrict further overloads, any unregistered users had to be locked out.
How do we know who is or isn't an unregistered user?
By forcing anyone who wants in to Log In.
Is that annoying?
Yes. But there's only so much the Administerrerrerr can do to keep this place running.
Again, if you have any problems: get in touch.
REGISTRATION! NEW USERS!
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Option the First:
Please drop our fearless Administerrerrerr a line.
Tell him who you are, that you wish to join, and what you wish your username to be. The Administerrerrerr will get back to you. If you're human, and you're not a damn spammer, expect a reply within 24 hoursish. Usually quicker, rarely slower.
Unfortunately, the Contact Form is being a total primadonna right now, so please send an email to the obvious address.
Posting this address in clear text is just the "on" switch for spambots, but here is a hint.
Option the Second:
Find us on Facebook, in the magnificent
Umah Thurman Midget Circus
Join up there, or just drop the modmins a message. They will pass any request on to the Administerrerrerr for this place.
On the flip side...
-
rhinoviper
- Toe-Draggin' Speed Monkey
- Location: Tiny Town
- Contact:
-
Muppet
- Magnum Jihad
- Location: Hollywood(!)
- Contact:
-
Dewey
- Magnum Jihad
- Location: Denver, CO
- Contact:
It's amazing I'm still married.
Maybe there's a reason my wife agreed to let me get a motorcycle shortly after my father-in-law so kindly sold me a bunch of life insurance.
Maybe there's a reason my wife agreed to let me get a motorcycle shortly after my father-in-law so kindly sold me a bunch of life insurance.
Last edited by Dewey on Wed Sep 15, 2004 11:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
Dewey
Tuono
Tuono
-
Ban Guzzi
- I AM THE MOTOR!
-
bandit1211
old, but good....
>
> We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
>
> Now, here are the rules from the male side.
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>
> You're a big girl.
>
> If it's up, put it down.
>
> We need it up, you need it down.
>
> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
>
>
> 2. Sunday = sports.
>
> It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
>
> Let it be.
>
>
>
> 3. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>
> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
>
>
> 4. Crying is blackmail.
>
>
>
> 5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
>
> Subtle hints do not work!
>
> Strong hints do not work!
>
> Obvious hints do not work!
>
> Just say it!
>
>
>
> 6. Yes and No
>
> are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
>
>
> 7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
>
> That's what we do.
>
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>
>
> 8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
>
> See a doctor.
>
>
>
> 9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>
> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
>
>
> 10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
>
> don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>
>
>
> 11. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>
> Don't ask us.
>
>
>
> 12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
>
> and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
>
> we meant the other one.
>
>
>
> 13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> done.
>
> Not both.
>
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
>
>
> 14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
>
>
> 15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
>
>
>
> 16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also
a
> fruit.
>
> We have no idea what mauve is.
>
>
>
> 17. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>
> We do that.
>
>
>
> 18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> nothing's wrong.
>
> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
>
>
> 19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
>
> expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>
>
>
> 20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine.
>
> Really.
>
>
>
> 21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
>
> you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun
> formation, or monster trucks.
>
>
>
> 22. You have enough clothes.
>
>
>
> 23. You have too many shoes.
>
>
>
> 24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
>
>
> 25. Thank you for reading this.
>
> Yes, I know; I have to sleep on the couch tonight,
>
> but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
camping.
>
>
> We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
>
> Now, here are the rules from the male side.
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>
> You're a big girl.
>
> If it's up, put it down.
>
> We need it up, you need it down.
>
> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
>
>
> 2. Sunday = sports.
>
> It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
>
> Let it be.
>
>
>
> 3. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>
> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
>
>
> 4. Crying is blackmail.
>
>
>
> 5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
>
> Subtle hints do not work!
>
> Strong hints do not work!
>
> Obvious hints do not work!
>
> Just say it!
>
>
>
> 6. Yes and No
>
> are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
>
>
> 7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
>
> That's what we do.
>
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>
>
> 8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
>
> See a doctor.
>
>
>
> 9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>
> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
>
>
> 10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
>
> don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>
>
>
> 11. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>
> Don't ask us.
>
>
>
> 12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
>
> and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
>
> we meant the other one.
>
>
>
> 13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> done.
>
> Not both.
>
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
>
>
> 14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
>
>
> 15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
>
>
>
> 16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also
a
> fruit.
>
> We have no idea what mauve is.
>
>
>
> 17. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>
> We do that.
>
>
>
> 18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> nothing's wrong.
>
> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
>
>
> 19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
>
> expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>
>
>
> 20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine.
>
> Really.
>
>
>
> 21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
>
> you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun
> formation, or monster trucks.
>
>
>
> 22. You have enough clothes.
>
>
>
> 23. You have too many shoes.
>
>
>
> 24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
>
>
> 25. Thank you for reading this.
>
> Yes, I know; I have to sleep on the couch tonight,
>
> but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
camping.
>
-
DerGolgo
- Zaphod's Zeitgeist
- Location: Potato
I think both parties should just honestly talk to one another. If they don't do that, fuck it, the relationship is doomed. Whoever won't talk openly is at fault. End of discussion. The rules Bandit1211 posted meay be true, oh so wonderfully true, but rules don't work alone. The End.
BTW.: Bandit, what's with your nick, did you get oversized pistons?
BTW.: Bandit, what's with your nick, did you get oversized pistons?
If there were absolutely anything to be afraid of, don't you think I would have worn pants?
I said I have a big stick.
I said I have a big stick.
-
Ames
- Megachiroptera Übermench
- Location: Denver, CO in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!
- Contact:
Here's how I handle these:
No. 1 - Kill never and always
When I do something that I know she complains about repeatidly I'll write it on the calendar (May 17 - cleaned kitchen). That way when she says, "You never clean the kitchen" I'll point to, say, May 17th with a firm and confident, "AHA!"
No. 2 - Work the reunions
No problem, I'm all over her like an octopus. She's usually so tired after fighting off a couple minutes of my boystrous grouping that she's had enough of me for the evening.
No. 3 - Laugh at her
Too easy. I think they really meant "Laugh with her." But I'm already on this one.
No. 4 Make the lion's roar
There's another way to handle conflict?
No. 5 - Be a little lamblike, too
I'm really fond of lamb, especially with a jelly sauce. Does anyone else find themselves humming "This is the Song that Never Ends" while eating lamb? My wife's a former vegetarian, but this is one boundry she's still not crossing (this and veal).
No. 6 - She needs closeness to feel sexual; you need sex to feel close
Isn't this the same as No. 2?
No. 7 - Be touchy
Wow, is this redundant or what? I suppose my chasing my wife up the stairs grabbing her heiney counts, right? But why does she yell at me when I grab her boob in the grocery store?
No. 8 - See the coffee cup
I see the coffee cup, then I remind my wife that she should take it into the kitchen. Hell, why not, she used it.
No. 9 - She ain't broke, so don't fix her
Shouldn't this apply to her too?
No. 10 - Play to win
Like there's any other way to play. Problem is, even though I'm right most of the time, she doesn't see it that way. Hence, we argue over the same things that I already know I'm right about again and again. Sometimes I'll throw in the towell just so I can get to sleep.
Now, the revisionist, cro-magnun disection is complete. I'm now off to take my son to soccer practice.
No. 1 - Kill never and always
When I do something that I know she complains about repeatidly I'll write it on the calendar (May 17 - cleaned kitchen). That way when she says, "You never clean the kitchen" I'll point to, say, May 17th with a firm and confident, "AHA!"
No. 2 - Work the reunions
No problem, I'm all over her like an octopus. She's usually so tired after fighting off a couple minutes of my boystrous grouping that she's had enough of me for the evening.
No. 3 - Laugh at her
Too easy. I think they really meant "Laugh with her." But I'm already on this one.
No. 4 Make the lion's roar
There's another way to handle conflict?
No. 5 - Be a little lamblike, too
I'm really fond of lamb, especially with a jelly sauce. Does anyone else find themselves humming "This is the Song that Never Ends" while eating lamb? My wife's a former vegetarian, but this is one boundry she's still not crossing (this and veal).
No. 6 - She needs closeness to feel sexual; you need sex to feel close
Isn't this the same as No. 2?
No. 7 - Be touchy
Wow, is this redundant or what? I suppose my chasing my wife up the stairs grabbing her heiney counts, right? But why does she yell at me when I grab her boob in the grocery store?
No. 8 - See the coffee cup
I see the coffee cup, then I remind my wife that she should take it into the kitchen. Hell, why not, she used it.
No. 9 - She ain't broke, so don't fix her
Shouldn't this apply to her too?
No. 10 - Play to win
Like there's any other way to play. Problem is, even though I'm right most of the time, she doesn't see it that way. Hence, we argue over the same things that I already know I'm right about again and again. Sometimes I'll throw in the towell just so I can get to sleep.
Now, the revisionist, cro-magnun disection is complete. I'm now off to take my son to soccer practice.
Cheers,
Ames.
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you...stranger!
Quid Ita Serius?
You never know how much you appreciate your civil liberties until they've been violated.
Ames.
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you...stranger!
Quid Ita Serius?
You never know how much you appreciate your civil liberties until they've been violated.
-
lifeon2
- Magnum Jihad
- Contact:
You know I've always been a what you see is what you get kinda person I dont make special concessions at the begining of a relationship and if I like something I say so If I dont I will also say so that way if a woman digs me enough just as I am I dont have to make changes or adjustment as far as the whole lion and lamb thing goes I've always had a kind of thing about that your either a lion or a lamb lions eat lambs and to date I have not been eaten lets face it folks people are a pack animal in your own personal pack your either alpha or your not for those of you who have spent time with myself and amber you may have noticed things seem to be working out pretty great
Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive
If your gonna be dumb you gotta be tough
If your gonna be dumb you gotta be tough