UTMC

A while back there was a big long rant (that got way out of hand) about the Woman's Code. Well, I thought I'd restoke the embers and throw this at ya. Since we have a majority male audience, here, I wanted to let y'all sound off. The article is written by a man and is titled A 'Perfect' Husband Tells All - 10 secrets to keeping your wife (& life) happy.

http://fitness.msn.com/articles/feeds/a ... d&GT1=5100

*ducks into foxhole*

i read that this morning as well...i found it interesting...

It's amazing I'm still married.

Maybe there's a reason my wife agreed to let me get a motorcycle shortly after my father-in-law so kindly sold me a bunch of life insurance.

...lovely advice...
Of course, this all assumes she's willing to play along...if she doesn't, your screwed [not the good way]. Howsa 'bout people LISTEN to whats being said? That would pretty much take care of the list completly.

I'm off to talk to my cats...

old, but good....



>
> We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
>
> Now, here are the rules from the male side.
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>
> You're a big girl.
>
> If it's up, put it down.
>
> We need it up, you need it down.
>
> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
>
>
> 2. Sunday = sports.
>
> It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
>
> Let it be.
>
>
>
> 3. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>
> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
>
>
> 4. Crying is blackmail.
>
>
>
> 5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
>
> Subtle hints do not work!
>
> Strong hints do not work!
>
> Obvious hints do not work!
>
> Just say it!
>
>
>
> 6. Yes and No
>
> are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
>
>
> 7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
>
> That's what we do.
>
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>
>
> 8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
>
> See a doctor.
>
>
>
> 9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>
> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
>
>
> 10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
>
> don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>
>
>
> 11. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>
> Don't ask us.
>
>
>
> 12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
>
> and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
>
> we meant the other one.
>
>
>
> 13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> done.
>
> Not both.
>
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
>
>
> 14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
>
>
> 15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
>
>
>
> 16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also
a
> fruit.
>
> We have no idea what mauve is.
>
>
>
> 17. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>
> We do that.
>
>
>
> 18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> nothing's wrong.
>
> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
>
>
> 19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
>
> expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>
>
>
> 20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine.
>
> Really.
>
>
>
> 21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
>
> you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun
> formation, or monster trucks.
>
>
>
> 22. You have enough clothes.
>
>
>
> 23. You have too many shoes.
>
>
>
> 24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
>
>
> 25. Thank you for reading this.
>
> Yes, I know; I have to sleep on the couch tonight,
>
> but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
camping.
>

I think both parties should just honestly talk to one another. If they don't do that, fuck it, the relationship is doomed. Whoever won't talk openly is at fault. End of discussion. The rules Bandit1211 posted meay be true, oh so wonderfully true, but rules don't work alone. The End.


BTW.: Bandit, what's with your nick, did you get oversized pistons?

Here's how I handle these:

No. 1 - Kill never and always
When I do something that I know she complains about repeatidly I'll write it on the calendar (May 17 - cleaned kitchen). That way when she says, "You never clean the kitchen" I'll point to, say, May 17th with a firm and confident, "AHA!"

No. 2 - Work the reunions
No problem, I'm all over her like an octopus. She's usually so tired after fighting off a couple minutes of my boystrous grouping that she's had enough of me for the evening.

No. 3 - Laugh at her
Too easy. I think they really meant "Laugh with her." But I'm already on this one.

No. 4 Make the lion's roar
There's another way to handle conflict?

No. 5 - Be a little lamblike, too
I'm really fond of lamb, especially with a jelly sauce. Does anyone else find themselves humming "This is the Song that Never Ends" while eating lamb? My wife's a former vegetarian, but this is one boundry she's still not crossing (this and veal).

No. 6 - She needs closeness to feel sexual; you need sex to feel close
Isn't this the same as No. 2?

No. 7 - Be touchy
Wow, is this redundant or what? I suppose my chasing my wife up the stairs grabbing her heiney counts, right? But why does she yell at me when I grab her boob in the grocery store?

No. 8 - See the coffee cup
I see the coffee cup, then I remind my wife that she should take it into the kitchen. Hell, why not, she used it.

No. 9 - She ain't broke, so don't fix her
Shouldn't this apply to her too?

No. 10 - Play to win
Like there's any other way to play. Problem is, even though I'm right most of the time, she doesn't see it that way. Hence, we argue over the same things that I already know I'm right about again and again. Sometimes I'll throw in the towell just so I can get to sleep.

Now, the revisionist, cro-magnun disection is complete. I'm now off to take my son to soccer practice.

You know I've always been a what you see is what you get kinda person I dont make special concessions at the begining of a relationship and if I like something I say so If I dont I will also say so that way if a woman digs me enough just as I am I dont have to make changes or adjustment as far as the whole lion and lamb thing goes I've always had a kind of thing about that your either a lion or a lamb lions eat lambs and to date I have not been eaten lets face it folks people are a pack animal in your own personal pack your either alpha or your not for those of you who have spent time with myself and amber you may have noticed things seem to be working out pretty great