the sex of inanimate objects

[ladyracer]

You may not know that many non-living things have a gender. For example:



1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.



2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can reek havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.



3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.



4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it and, of course, there's the hot air component.



5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.



6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.



7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.



Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight can shift to the bottom.



9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.



10) Remote Control -- Female. Ha! You thought it'd be Male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

[Ames]

10) Remote Control -- Female. Ha! You thought it'd be Male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

I suppose this goes a long way toward proving the "All women are bi" theory since they're always trying to get the remote away from their man.

[lifeon2]

thanks for the opener Ames..... yes all women are buy....buy me house buy me a car buy me a ring

[eugene_a]

I think you left motorcycles off that list. Bikes are definitely women - Sleek, sexy, fun to ride, and a whole lot of maintenence!

[DerGolgo]

I think you left motorcycles off that list. Bikes are definitely women - Sleek, sexy, fun to ride, and a whole lot of maintenence!

Sleek, sexy, fun to ride - built like UFOs, need a lot less maintenance - BMW would thus be gay men?

[ladyracer]

I don't know if motorcycles are women, but I know why motorcycles are better than women:

Motorcycles' curves never sag.

Motorcycles last longer.

Motorcycles don't get pregnant.

You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.

Motorcycles don't have parents.

Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.

You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.

You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.

If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.

You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is really worn.

If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.

Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.

When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.

Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.

Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.

New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.

If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.

If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.

If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.

If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics
to correct it.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.

You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register
your Motorcycle.

You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist
and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.

If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.

You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.

Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.

Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.

Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.

Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.

Motorcycles don't care if you are late.

You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.

It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.

If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.

You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.

[Beemer Dan]

Sleek, sexy, fun to ride - built like UFOs, need a lot less maintenance - BMW would thus be gay men?

I wondered what that part of the toolkit was for