UTMC

Posted: **Tue Jul 14, 2009 2:36 pm**

Every once in a while, I don't think some of my friends get what I mean when I say "friends." I'm a nice guy to a fucking fault, and have gotten rolled time and again by people because I'm willing to give anything I've got if another needs it; time, money, tools, equipment, anything. That's what friends do, and that's what SHOULD make the world so much better for everyone.

When you say you'll do something for a friend, you fucking do it. For my own part, even when it seems like a bad idea, or has gotten more inconvenient. Fucking do it.

If you say you'll take a day to hang out, you don't bitch out first opportunity. You say you're gonna help with some family stuff, you damn well better lock down on it, not try to change it all for yourself.

I don't even want to whine about specifics, but it really beats me down that all of my friends know I'm a nice guy, so I will just go with it and not make a big deal when they try to change everything I think I have going.

And I know, I KNOW, by the time I even hit "debauch," I'll be mostly over it. It's no big deal, nobody means to hurt anyone else. But it's a real pain in the ass when it happens anyway. It's a tough spot when you're friends are willing to take advantage of you because you won't even try to make things awkward and hold them to their word.

Fuck it.

-Rench

PS: just to make sure, this isn't at anyone around here. You all fucking rock, and while most of us aren't close enough to qualify as friends, you make better vague acquaintances then guys I've called my brothers for years.

Posted: **Tue Jul 14, 2009 3:20 pm**

been there, done that, and stopped calling everyone who never initiated a fucking friend-to-friend phone call with me.

some people only know how to take.

::sigh::

Posted: **Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:26 pm**

The other thing that friends do is call people out on their shit.
Don't be an enabler, be a friend, and sometimes that means being kind of a dick when people are not putting in what they promised.
Not a huge dick, or a dick just to be a dick, but someone who will just tell it like it is without getting all riled up.
It works, it's worked on me, I've worked it on others.
Kinda sucks to have to, though.

Posted: **Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:01 am**

Though I'd like to think I've grown much wiser with age, I've only learned a few simple truths about people. One of them being that your (and my) life-long friends can come from the strangest places. Friendship happens. It develops and grows with time. You build your life-long friends through many trials and many more errors.

I've learned that I don't have to fundamentally agree with some people to be their friend. I've learned that true friendship is an unspoken agreement that you've chosen-to reciprocate in kindness on almost every matter-even to the extent that you have to sacrifice more than you really want to sometimes. I believe that you need to be brutally honest with your friends sometimes, to share your understanding of their confusion, and to correct their course so they won't lose as much as you have from a past mistake. Keep the faith. You'll find better friends.

"It is virtue, virtue, which both creates and preserves friendship. On it depends harmony of interest, permanence, fidelity."
-Cicero

Posted: **Wed Jul 15, 2009 8:15 am**

That is exactly why I have very few friends and a bazillion acquaintances...

Hang in there, dude... and +infinity on the good peeps here.

Posted: **Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:01 am**

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. As a nice guy, I know what you mean about not being angry by the time you're done typing. Know what? You're not done being angry at all. I promise. It's OK, but know that anger is lurking somewhere.

+1 on what WeAin'tFoundShit said. Call people on their shit and learn to say No. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you have to, nor does it mean you SHOULD.

You wouldn't believe some of the other requests and even demands I've gotten from "friends". Some people see that you'll help out on short notice and take advantage of your generosity.

I had to relearn that saying "No" is OK. Real friends can hear "no" and still be your friend. I've also had to relearn how to tell people their behavior is unacceptable. If someone reacts by having a tantrum, do you really want to be that persons friend?

Also, 99.976% of people who tell you you're being selfish are, in fact, the ones being selfish. So fuck 'em.

Finally, as Dr. Seuss said, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Posted: **Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:15 pm**

smashinator wrote:Finally, as Dr. Seuss said, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Thanks....I needed that........

I dont recall reading this Seuss but this makes sense......

(it's true, the peeps here are great)

</threadjack(it wasnt about me but I had to comment on this)>

UTMC

"WTF is with people?!?!??" rant...

"WTF is with people?!?!??" rant...