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My Harvey Dent Weekend, Left

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 8:01 am
by Bigshankhank
Well the other side of Harvey Dent is the bad side, and since the other post was about how good things happened this weekend
http://utmc-forum.org/pub/viewtopic.php?p=165838#165838, that only leaves one other story to tell.
A few years ago my son met and befriended a boy named Chris who lived on our street. They became basically unseperable, even after we moved into our new home two years ago they remained within cycling distance and spent most days during the past two summers together. Now we knew his parents didn't have much, so we didn't complain when he would be at our house literally for weeks at a time. We were doing well, no big deal keeping the boy around. On top of that we knew that there were some unpleasent elements of his family life that we wanted to keep our son away from, and we preferred them being with us. Fast forward to a few months ago, both boys are 13/14, and we heard from our son that Chris's dad had lost his job. Soon after we found out that they had lost their home, and Chris went to live with family in Seattle. That didn't work out, so he went to live with a more distant relative back here in Florida, but they were also out of work and ultimately lost their home, leaving the kids (Chris has a brother and a sister, both younger) with nowhere to go. So one day last week we get a call from his grandparents that they needed to talk to us, and we got a more thorough tale. As it turned out, there had been a violent break-in at their home. Luckily noone was hurt, but the children witnessed it, and the landlord kicked them out afterwards as they had been missing rent, and causing trouble. We knew, as did the grandparents, that the parents were drug users, and I guess the break in was the final straw. The grandparents took the children and did what they could to find them more stable homes. Chris and his brother went to Seattle as I said, but Chris didn't like it and wanted to come home to be with his friends, so his brother stayed but he returned. He went to live with his sister and their relatives, but again they lost their home and were only able to take one, so the daughter stayed with them. The grandparents could not take him long term as they live in an age-restricted community (kinda fucked up rule in this case, but it is what it is), so they came to us and asked us to take Chris in for a while. Things are tight here, but we are doing OK and so we agreed, Chris is a great kid and we couldn't turn our backs to him. We made space and a bed for him in our son's room, and moved him in Friday evening. This weekend we took him with us to some flattrack racing and camping, and everyone was having a great time. Then we got a phone call from the grandparents. Apparently, the father had accidentally overdosed Thursday night and wasn't found until Saturday morning. To further complicate things, the mother is in a county jail for missing a court date. Now my wife and I both knew from the get-go that this was likely to be a long term stay, as we knew the parents had serious problems and would be a long time, if ever, getting back on their feet, but we, nor anyone I guess, anticipated this twist. Obviously we will have him for quite a while, but that is not a problem. As of this writing Chris does not know the situation of either parent, the grandparents are flying his brother back here and trying to gather the family together to break the news. I just want to hug this kid but we must respect their wishes to wait. In the short time he has been here he has been very talkative and even happy, more so than we have ever know him to be, and I can only hope that this news does not send him over the edge, or break his spirit. As best we can my wife and I will be raising this kid past this trauma and hopefully to a better life than was laid out before him, but the first step is going to be getting him past the shit on his plate right now.
Fuck, life is really kicking this kid in the nuts, and he doesn't even know it yet.

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 8:16 am
by smashinator
Wow, that's crazy. Those poor kids.

Good on ya for helping out.

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 10:31 am
by xaos
Good luck, man.

Examples like this make me appreciate how lucky i have been all my life.

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:55 am
by The Shifty Jesus
That's an amazing thing for you to do. I tip my hat to you sir.

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:49 pm
by Jaeger
Bravo, Man. You give me hope for humanity. Well done, and good luck to you, yours, and this kid -- who I suppose is "yours" now too.

Fuckin' hell, tho. Wow. Just wow. Xaos is right -- it's a good reminder to us lucky fuckers how good we got it.

Wow.

--Jaeger

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:34 pm
by mtne
Couple of points.

Thank you and your wife for stepping up.

Keep in mind that this may very well be the best thing that could have happened to this kid given your family's involvement.

And if your going to commit to the long term get the paperwork done, so that you can take him to the hospital, school, what have you without being restricted from being there to help him.

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 2:10 pm
by piccini9
Damn, just damn, good for you man.

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 2:18 pm
by Moto_Myotis
Wow--this is such a sad story. You are amazingly generous to help this kid out.

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 2:26 pm
by Pintgudge
I honor and respect you more than I can say.

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 2:31 pm
by SSCAM
You are a damn fine human being.

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 2:43 pm
by sun rat
you, sir, are a credit to the human species!



when my parents sent me to my grandparents to live, permanently, they lived in an age restricted community also. they got a long enough reprieve to be allowed to sell their home and buy another one elsewhere. yea, those places are like that. but my grandfolks were fortunate to be selling at a time when the housing market was starting its outrageous boom in so-cal.

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 3:09 pm
by Bigshankhank
mtne wrote:
And if your going to commit to the long term get the paperwork done, so that you can take him to the hospital, school, what have you without being restricted from being there to help him.
Already in the works, his grandparents are the legal guadians as of now, but we discussed the need, or potential need, for us to take guardianship for the time being for exactly those reasons.