UTMC

So, I just had a weird thought. A weird concept, really. And I thought I'd share. I'm not looking for responses. I'm looking for your weirdness.
Keep it short. A "tagline" and as few sentences as possible.


Run for your life
Be the only candidate in the election to who gets to live your life. You are compelled to campaign. There is no guarantee you'll win.

Oh, and here's another one:

No last man alive
It's impossible for there to be a last living person (or animal) in the world. Because without another to observe him, he couldn't do anything, being stuck in a quantum indeterminate state.

And another, just for the heck of it:

Free at last
There's a man out there, a little older than you, who, from the day he was born, has been trained and indoctrinated with everything there is to know about you, your habits, your exact actions, your dreams, your emotions, your love, your fear. Over the decades, you have been the one constant in his life, his utter hatred of you, his own personal tyrant, is unmeasurable. The only purpose he has known in life, what he has been trained for, is to one day, one specific day, at a specific time, in a specific place, stand in front of you and quietly say "Fish". Once he does, he is finally free of you. He dare not do it for fear he will fail.

Golgo ,


Yer kinda weird .


I guess thats why yer my friend!

seriously, stop mixing the pain killers with whiskey.

goose wrote:seriously, stop mixing the pain killers with whiskey.

I'm stone sober.

So is the man sitting at the end of the bar. He is so sober, no one around him can get drunk. Desperate alcoholics are sloshing gallons of beer, wine and spirits down their throats, drinking so fast they have no time to go to the toilet, standing in pools of their own urine, utterly unable to get any buzz going. The barman pays him nicely. He is the cleaner.

mmmmmmmmmm painkillers and whiskey. Them's good fixins!

The invisible hand
British parents paralyzed by media-fed fear demand the government do something about the invisible hand of the market, to get rid of it, lest it grope their children. Desperate to be seen as proactive, mouldbreaking and thinking out-of-the-box, all investment bankers, industrialists and landlords are arrested immediately, speculation is outlawed and all capital is declared property of the people. The bourgeois middle-classes have brought about the revolution.

The happy child
A positively angelic child, big bright eyes, rosy cheeks and all, smiles and chuckles as she (or he) is sitting in split remains of the blood and guts covered carcass, gnawing on the bones. You recognize the bones as your own. You look into the child's eyes and see that it is you.

I think I've accidentally activated the weird-gland of my brain. I shall try to restrain myself. I want to hear from others.

Don't feel bad DG, I often have weird thoughts. Just not willing to share 'em here. You'd all think I'm ready for the funny farm.

No more Kafka for dergolgo. Doctors orders.

Keep the weird shit coming, if you don't let it out it will drive you mad.

Once we have all gone, when mankind has been wiped from the face of the earth, all the creatures will overtake our works and our monuments. Already evolved and adapted to thrive in a world we made, they soon fill the niches now open which we used to occupy. Trees, no longer cut, will stop growing over the crumbling roads. Animals will start walking on their hind legs to climb our stairways. Creatures will start emitting the nourishing and mutating emissions we no longer do. The world will look just as it did when we were still around, animals taking our place in a world so bent out of shape to fit our needs, it's the only way to adapt to their environment. Maybe this has already happened.

Start mixing the painkillers and the whiskey?

Whatevs, it's more interesting than porn. Keep it coming!

Puritan Porn
In the future, when porn has gone way past mainstream to over-saturation, naughty movies will be set in a leave-it-to-beaver 50's suburb setting, everyone wearing non-revealing, loose fitting clothes and sleeping in separate beds. The idea of not seeing nudity and sex in a movie will be dismissed as appealing only to the sad, lonely and adolescent. "Happy Days" DVDs will be kept under the counter, sold only wrapped in a brown paper envelope.

The Pill
A pill that produces all the physical, hormonal and psychological effects of pregnancy is developed to show men what it's like. Somebody will engineer all the negative effects out of it and sell it to women, ostensibly to make having children more popular by getting a positive-reinforcing trial-run. It becomes a new lifestyle drug. Every other women in the street seems to be pregnant. Actual births decline as it's also a highly effective contraceptive.

IT JUST WONT STOP!

Policemen all over, unable to make do with their meager pay, turn to crime. The police force turns from the protector of law and order to a massive organized crime syndicate. The situation gets so bad that the old mob, about to be driven out of business, must use their income from the remaining protection rackets to create a counter force, fighting the police, restoring order. Over time, they become ever more powerful, and ever more people pay protection money. Eventually, they replace the old failed state. The police is driven underground. The respective meanings of policeman and criminal are reversed. Children are told to find a mobster if they get lost.

The truth about Television
The reason dogs don't react to images in the television screen is that there really isn't a television screen. It's a glas enclosure containing a huge, horrible, slimy, twitching insect that drills images into our heads telepathically. It's called Simon and it reeaaly loves you, in a bad, bad way. That's why they tell you never to break the "picture tube".

Color
There is only one "favourite" color. Everyone's favorite is the same. It's just that when two people are shown an object that they are told is red, one sees green, one sees blue, for example. Everyone needs to look at a different actual color to see the favorite color. Because they have been taught that it is color "x", different people tell each other they have different favorite colors.

Time and the Swiss
Time is an illusion invented by the Swiss to improve their balance of trade. All watches sold anywhere in the world contain a little bit of actual Swiss-made time. They also use it for national defense. No one ever has the time to invade them.

Thank god, I think those last dregs were the rest of it. I haven't had a weird thought for literally several minutes now. I'm going to bed. When I check in here tomorrow (well, technically speaking, later today), I want to read somebody else's weird thought.
They don't have to be fresh, just weird. Please. Make me feel normal...just the once....

DerGolgo wrote:IT JUST WONT STOP!

Policemen all over, unable to make do with their meager pay, turn to crime. The police force turns from the protector of law and order to a massive organized crime syndicate. The situation gets so bad that the old mob, about to be driven out of business, must use their income from the remaining protection rackets to create a counter force, fighting the police, restoring order. Over time, they become ever more powerful, and ever more people pay protection money. Eventually, they replace the old failed state. The police is driven underground. The respective meanings of policeman and criminal are reversed. Children are told to find a mobster if they get lost.

This has already happened.

People behaving in a reaonable, resposible manner.

Tomorrow morning, everyone in the world will wake up, and do what is best for everyone, themselves included. There will be long term, deeply insightful thought into the nature of reality, and the meaning of life.
This will last for exactly 17 seconds.

The killing word
There is such a thing as a killing word. But it is a perfectly normal word you use everyday. Until you find out that is actually is the killing word. At that moment, that word kills you.