Is the Hadron Collider being sabotaged from the future?

Groove · Post by **Groove** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:41 am

Heh, every time I see these headlines I mistakenly read "hard-on collider" and think to myself...ouch!

Some heavy stuff here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/13/scien ... 13lhc.html

I’m not talking about extra dimensions of space-time, dark matter or even black holes that eat the Earth. No, I’m talking about the notion that the troubled collider is being sabotaged by its own future. A pair of otherwise distinguished physicists have suggested that the hypothesized Higgs boson, which physicists hope to produce with the collider, might be so abhorrent to nature that its creation would ripple backward through time and stop the collider before it could make one, like a time traveler who goes back in time to kill his grandfather.

Post by **DerGolgo** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:08 am

“It must be our prediction that all Higgs producing machines shall have bad luck,” Dr. Nielsen said in an e-mail message. In an unpublished essay, Dr. Nielson said of the theory, “Well, one could even almost say that we have a model for God.” It is their guess, he went on, “that He rather hates Higgs particles, and attempts to avoid them.”

This malign influence from the future, they argue, could explain why the United States Superconducting Supercollider, also designed to find the Higgs, was canceled in 1993 after billions of dollars had already been spent, an event so unlikely that Dr. Nielsen calls it an “anti-miracle.”

Yeah, alright, if the scientists are sufficiently creeped out to blame GOD...

It would be pretty cool if science had finally managed to create a bizarre form of trans-temporal communication. But I don't buy it.

That magnet that failed?
Made by FERMILAB.
The next-biggest collider that can compete with the LHC in at least some areas? Tevatron, run by FERMILAB.
Think about it!

motorpsycho67 · Post by **motorpsycho67** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 7:15 am

DerGolgo wrote:
That magnet that failed?
Made by FERMILAB.
The next-biggest collider that can compete with the LHC in at least some areas? Tevatron, run by FERMILAB.
Think about it!

My bro Sean did a thing on that magnet failure on his show World's Toughest Fixes.

Love that show.

If he wasn't so busy, I'd send him a membership packet.

Groove · Post by **Groove** » Thu Oct 15, 2009 9:21 am

Sad, someone just pointed me to this: NSFW!

http://current.com/http://largehardoncollider.com/

Post by **DerGolgo** » Wed Dec 02, 2009 3:12 pm

Here it goes again: the plot thikkens.

http://news.slashdot.org/story/09/12/02 ... art_pos=22

"The Large Hadron Collider — the most puissant particle-punisher ever assembled by the human race — has suffered another major power failure, knocking not only the atom smasher itself but even its associated websites offline."

rolly · Post by **rolly** » Wed Dec 02, 2009 4:54 pm

DerGolgo wrote:Here it goes again: the plot thikkens.

http://news.slashdot.org/story/09/12/02 ... art_pos=22

"The Large Hadron Collider — the most puissant particle-punisher ever assembled by the human race — has suffered another major power failure, knocking not only the atom smasher itself but even its associated websites offline."

Those dastardly Somali pirates! Supertankers weren't enough, they're taking our supercolliders now. Where's ARock when you need him?

Post by **DerGolgo** » Wed Dec 02, 2009 6:34 pm

rolly wrote:
DerGolgo wrote:Here it goes again: the plot thikkens.

http://news.slashdot.org/story/09/12/02 ... art_pos=22

"The Large Hadron Collider — the most puissant particle-punisher ever assembled by the human race — has suffered another major power failure, knocking not only the atom smasher itself but even its associated websites offline."
Those dastardly Somali pirates! Supertankers weren't enough, they're taking our supercolliders now. Where's ARock when you need him?

Aw, FUDGENIPPLE!

Here's the correct linky-poo:
http://science.slashdot.org/story/09/12 ... art_pos=13

WeAintFoundShit · Post by **WeAintFoundShit** » Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:32 am

Ahhh, beams these days. They grow up so FAST!
http://lhc-machine-outreach.web.cern.ch ... h/beam.htm

Ames · Post by **Ames** » Thu Dec 03, 2009 5:45 am

[quote...]01:23 Swiss time this morning...[/quote]
As opposed to 01:23 in the afternoon?

Sorry, pet peeve.

tumbler · Post by **tumbler** » Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:38 am

Ames wrote:[quote...]01:23 Swiss time this morning...

As opposed to 01:23 in the afternoon?

Sorry, pet peeve.[/quote]
yes?

Toonce(s) · Post by **Toonce(s)** » Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:52 am

DerGolgo wrote:
That magnet that failed?
Made by FERMILAB.
The next-biggest collider that can compete with the LHC in at least some areas? Tevatron, run by FERMILAB.
Think about it!

I say FERMILAB is sabotaging it from the future, using time-travelling spies.

Jonny · Post by **Jonny** » Thu Dec 03, 2009 9:05 am

Don't ask me why, but this thread reminds me of a cocktail I made up a few months back.

STORY: I work as a bartender in a fairly swank hotel in Japan. Sometimes the Japanese accent throws me while pronouncing an English word/cocktail name. Quite a lovely lady asked me for what I could've sworn was a "Penis Collider". After some thought I figured what she really asked for, but I had to go with my original idea and let my imagination run with it: Penises colliding must be like two opposed and yet somehow similar forces. The drink concockted (wink) was:

2oz White rum
2oz Tequila
1/2oz Malibu
1/2oz Fresh cream
2 1/2oz Pineapple juice
Shaken, poured over crushed ice with bullshit over-the-top garnish
The rum and tequila being the two cocks colliding.

On serving:
Me: Your Penis Collider...
Her: Pina Colada?
Me: Of course!

Hah! She ordered a second!

<end of unintentional threadfuck>

12ci · Post by **12ci** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:38 pm

Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.

Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

ok, ok, so its dated April first...but why is it showing on google news today ?

Post by **DerGolgo** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:56 pm

12ci wrote:
Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin.
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[/quote]

rolly · Post by **rolly** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 3:17 pm

12ci wrote:Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.
ok, ok, so its dated April first...but why is it showing on google news today ?

Eloi? Pffft. If they start sending Morlocks, then worry.

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Is the Hadron Collider being sabotaged from the future?

Is the Hadron Collider being sabotaged from the future?