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shitmydadsays
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:44 pm
by Groove
This old guy is Jangleplats!
I'm 29. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:51 pm
by DerGolgo
Oh, yeah, truth.
"Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you."
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:00 pm
by DerGolgo
Hang on...
"It's watering plants, Justin. You just take a God damned hose and you put it over the plant. You don't even pay rent, just do it. Shit."
9:56 AM Aug 14th from web
Why, GG, I didn't even know you twittered!
And, 29, yeah, like anyone is going to buy that
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:01 pm
by Groove
"Don't listen to the pussy side of you when you make a decision. People gravitate towards being a pussy. Remove the pussy, son."
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:16 pm
by guitargeek
DerGolgo wrote:Hang on...
"It's watering plants, Justin. You just take a God damned hose and you put it over the plant. You don't even pay rent, just do it. Shit."
9:56 AM Aug 14th from web
Why, GG, I didn't even know you twittered!
And, 29, yeah, like anyone is going to buy that
Sorry, not me.
Here's me:
http://twitter.com/guitargeek
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:42 pm
by Zer0
"Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."
"Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."
"It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"
"A scar ain't 13 god damned stitches. I'll introduce you to men with REAL scars, then we'll all laugh at your fucking 13 stitches together."
"Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal."
I love this man.
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 8:46 pm
by xaos
i really needed a belly laugh today, thanx. i can only aspire to having 1/10 the wisdom of this guy
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 9:00 pm
by motorpsycho67
Jangleplatz
Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2009 9:31 pm
by Ames
Most Jangleplatz indeed.
Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 6:24 am
by Jaeger
I aspire to be that cranky old man some day.
Goddamn. New hero.
I'm sending this to MY old man.
--Jaeger
Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:01 am
by Rabbit_Fighter
Wisdom.
Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:02 am
by MagnusTheBuilder
That site is the reason that the internet exists. Spread the knowledge.
Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 12:54 pm
by sweetpea
Another really funny twitter guy is bad banana
http://twitter.com/badbanana
"Look at the bright side of this unemployment report. The number of people hating their jobs is at a 26-year low."
"Big Bird turns 40 next week. Just imagine how big his prostate is getting."
"Spending $100M to get elected mayor of NYC is ridiculous when you can buy a death ray and run the entire world."
"By my count, Jim Carrey only has one more iconic Christmas role to ruin. Two, if you include baby Jesus."
"A conference call is like a bus ride. I want it to end as quickly as possible, preferably with nobody talking to me."
"An eighth foot has washed up on the shores of British Columbia. Canadian authorities can't explain it because they use the metric system."
Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:56 pm
by Groove
sweetpea wrote:Another really funny twitter guy is bad banana
http://twitter.com/badbanana
"Look at the bright side of this unemployment report. The number of people hating their jobs is at a 26-year low."
"Big Bird turns 40 next week. Just imagine how big his prostate is getting."
"Spending $100M to get elected mayor of NYC is ridiculous when you can buy a death ray and run the entire world."
"By my count, Jim Carrey only has one more iconic Christmas role to ruin. Two, if you include baby Jesus."
"A conference call is like a bus ride. I want it to end as quickly as possible, preferably with nobody talking to me."
"An eighth foot has washed up on the shores of British Columbia. Canadian authorities can't explain it because they use the metric system."
Nice.
Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 9:57 am
by Zer0
Jaeger wrote:I aspire to be that cranky old man some day.
Goddamn. New hero.
+1
Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 6:16 am
by Ames
I wonder if he'll be played by Peter Boyle?
[quote]Twitter sensation Shit My Dad Says is headed to television.
CBS has picked up a comedy project based on the Twitter account, which has enlisted more than 700,000 followers since launching in August and has made its creator, Justin Halpern, an Internet star.
"Will & Grace" creators David Kohan and Max Mutchnick are on board to executive produce and supervise the writing for the multicamera family comedy, which Halpern will co-pen with Patrick Schumacker. Halpern and Schumacker will also co-exec produce the Warner Bros. TV-produced project, which has received a script commitment.
The comedy's title will change if it gets on the air.
Halpern, 29, had moved back in with his parents in San Diego, and on Aug. 3 he launched "Shit My Dad Says," a Twitter feed featuring colorful -- often profane -- comments and pearls of wisdom made by his 73-year-old father during their daily conversations.
Some examples:
"Sometimes life leaves a hundred-dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you";
"Why the fuck would I want to live to 100? I'm 73 and shit's starting to get boring. By the way, there's no money left when I go, just fyi";
"The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out."
Shit My Dad Says is the second hot Internet property to land at a broadcast network this development season as a potential half-hour series.
Fox is developing a multicamera comedy based on popular Web site TextsFromLastNight, with Sony TV and Happy Madison producing.
Halpern, who sold "Shit My Dad Says" as a book to Harper Collins last month, and Schumacker are repped by ICM and Infinity Management. Kohan and Mutchnick are with Vision Art.
Twitter fave Shit My Dad Says heads to TV
'Will & Grace' team on board to produce family comedy
By Nellie Andreeva
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/con ... f91bc9ff77
Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 6:39 am
by motorpsycho67
Jaeger wrote:I aspire to be that cranky old man some day.
Fuckin ditto!
Some of my friends would say I'm already there.
Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 6:48 am
by Rock
What the fuck, he's quoting me....damn kids and their twitter...
Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 9:11 am
by Zer0
motorpsycho67 wrote:Jaeger wrote:I aspire to be that cranky old man some day.
Fuckin ditto!
Some of my friends would say I'm already there.
My wife introduces me to friends as "the ass." She gave me a big kiss on the cheek one day telling me she finally figured out why she loves watching the TV show "House" so much: Dr, House is my Doppelgänger; she's reallly starting to understand where I come from.
Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 9:41 am
by MagnusTheBuilder
Zer0 wrote:
My wife introduces me to friends as "the ass."
You can't be THAT much of an ass, you have a wife.
Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 11:05 am
by MagnusTheBuilder
Here is an update... this guy just got his own TV show on CBS.
http://www.thrfeed.com/2009/11/twitters ... -deal.html
Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 11:17 am
by Ames
Look up roughly five entries. Sheesh, I feel so ignored.
Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:24 pm
by Zer0
Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:25 pm
by Zer0
MagnusTheBuilder wrote:Zer0 wrote:
My wife introduces me to friends as "the ass."
You can't be THAT much of an ass, you have a wife.
So Does Dick Cheney.