UTMC

Rules for female passengers on street bikes...
1. If you have no bike but just happen to have your own helmet in your car we know your playing us for a ride.
2. If your going to go for a ride go with the nicest bike he's the one who is least likely to crash and kill you. If he has a nice bike he's probably been ridding a while. If you go with a tool who has a 86 ninja 250 we are all going to laugh at you. Plus use your head if his bike looks broke then so is he DUHHH!
3. If the bike is a "Stunt bike" or rashed up all over reconsider there is a reason its rashed up.
4. If you're FAT! Save yourself some embarrassment and save us the aggravation of trying to tell you no with out saying cuz "YOU'RE FAT!!!! We can only be sooo nice. Use your head.
5. If your friend is ugly or FAT (See rule 4) it is not my responsibility to get someone to take her.
6. If you have on a skirt then YES!!! We have to go first. No one else knows how to get where we are going... (Right guys?)
7. Showing your nice boobies will get you selected first for a bike ride.
8. STOP!!!!! F***ing bashing your Pep-Boys helmet into the back of my $600 custom helmet... thank you!
9. Move back and stick your ass out... your squishing my nuts.
10. Stop scratching my tank with your fake J-Lo ring set.
11. Yes it is too possible to jerk me off while I'm riding my bike, rubbing gently works too... (Note: This will also ensure you another bike ride anytime)
12. It is customary to pay for motorcycle rides with oral sex. (NOTE: If your skills aren't up to par it is definitely ok to have a girlfriend of yours assist you. Team work is what it's all about.)
13. We know when a girl likes the bike and not us. If every time we call it's always the same **** can we go on the bike.... NO!!!!..... It's fugging March biotch.
14. Don't lean this bike, it has one driver and it's me. So sit there and relax.
15. No you're not going to "GO FLYING RIGHT OFF" (Unless you piss me off then it's a possibility.)
16. Yes I'm going to go fast... stop being a pu$$y.
17. Yes I just adjusted my mirrors to see your boobs.
18. When we stop at a gas station, you are not guarenteed a return trip. Know your role and maybe you get dropped off close to where you were found.

Yeah, and have 'em read this too!

http://books.thekneeslider.com/shop.php ... bible&c=01

closet FAG.

HAHA, its funny 'cause its true!! There was a couple last week down here that lost it on a gixxer 1k after hitting a couple bars (no pun intended), rider and female passenger are both dead, friends say the girl did not know the guy she was riding with.
So pay attention, be choosey who you ride with.
Or to put it another way, don't be a douchey squid with no respect for the road, your ride or your passenger.

BDB can drag a knee through the corner as a passenger and never upset the geometry of the bike. I wish I were half as good a passenger as she is. I guess I never had a passenger that did anything stupid on the back of my bike.... then again, I'm pretty damned selective as to who gets a ride from me. 'Cept that whole Jaeger thing.... I guess I was just smitten!

goose wrote:BDB can drag a knee through the corner as a passenger and never upset the geometry of the bike. I wish I were half as good a passenger as she is. I guess I never had a passenger that did anything stupid on the back of my bike.... then again, I'm pretty damned selective as to who gets a ride from me. 'Cept that whole Jaeger thing.... I guess I was just smitten!

You bitch, you said I was the best you ever had!



--Jaeger

Jaeger wrote:

goose wrote:BDB can drag a knee through the corner as a passenger and never upset the geometry of the bike. I wish I were half as good a passenger as she is. I guess I never had a passenger that did anything stupid on the back of my bike.... then again, I'm pretty damned selective as to who gets a ride from me. 'Cept that whole Jaeger thing.... I guess I was just smitten!

You bitch, you said I was the best you ever had!



--Jaeger

I always say that.... sheesh!

"..... It's fugging March biotch. "

Why would anyone not ride in March?

Same reason the Mediterranean is full of yummy fish, squids hate cold weather

They should make passenger seats bigger, for the fatties:

MagnusTheBuilder wrote:They should make passenger seats bigger, for the fatties:

I am puzzled by the picture on the right, is she attempting to hang herself with her own hair?

What isn't puzzling about that picture?

Get fat without pads? Dangerous sugary diets...What the fuck are they talking about? Condensed food packets? Pure science fiction! (Easy Mac?)

Must be a squid thing. Oh, wait, I forgot to add "Yo" after that sentence.

Must be a squid thing yo. (there, proof of douche added, much better)

Um yeah, proof of douche indeed.

Brace for the sledit!

my bitch she don't read no shit yo, she just suck my dick yo
no homo

Sled wrote:Rules for female passengers on street bikes...
1. If you have no bike but just happen to have your own helmet in your car we know your playing us for a ride.
2. If your going to go for a ride go with the nicest bike he's the one who is least likely to crash and kill you. If he has a nice bike he's probably been ridding a while. If you go with a tool who has a 86 ninja 250 we are all going to laugh at you. Plus use your head if his bike looks broke then so is he DUHHH!
3. If the bike is a "Stunt bike" or rashed up all over reconsider there is a reason its rashed up.
4. If you're FAT! Save yourself some embarrassment and save us the aggravation of trying to tell you no with out saying cuz "YOU'RE FAT!!!! We can only be sooo nice. Use your head.
5. If your friend is ugly or FAT (See rule 4) it is not my responsibility to get someone to take her.
6. If you have on a skirt then YES!!! We have to go first. No one else knows how to get where we are going... (Right guys?)
7. Showing your nice boobies will get you selected first for a bike ride.
8. STOP!!!!! F***ing bashing your Pep-Boys helmet into the back of my $600 custom helmet... thank you!
9. Move back and stick your ass out... your squishing my nuts.
10. Stop scratching my tank with your fake J-Lo ring set.
11. Yes it is too possible to jerk me off while I'm riding my bike, rubbing gently works too... (Note: This will also ensure you another bike ride anytime)
12. It is customary to pay for motorcycle rides with oral sex. (NOTE: If your skills aren't up to par it is definitely ok to have a girlfriend of yours assist you. Team work is what it's all about.)
13. We know when a girl likes the bike and not us. If every time we call it's always the same **** can we go on the bike.... NO!!!!..... It's fugging March biotch.
14. Don't lean this bike, it has one driver and it's me. So sit there and relax.
15. No you're not going to "GO FLYING RIGHT OFF" (Unless you piss me off then it's a possibility.)
16. Yes I'm going to go fast... stop being a pu$$y.
17. Yes I just adjusted my mirrors to see your boobs.
18. When we stop at a gas station, you are not guarenteed a return trip. Know your role and maybe you get dropped off close to where you were found.

Just preparing for the Sledit...wanted to keep this bunch of tripe* for posterity.

This IS a joke, right?

Now Xaos, get back in that kitchen and fix me a sammich...it's lunch time!

*no offense to tripe / no tripe was actually harmed as a result of this post

Couldn't help it.

So where did the sledster go?

MoraleHazard wrote:So where did the sledster go?

To make his woman a sammich. Someone is obviously pissed about not wearing the pants in the family.

I'm curious why this was posted? If it was supposed to be humorous it could have been framed a lot better. This belongs on a fag/rideordiebro bike forum, not here. Yo.

A forum for the off topic stuff. Everything from religion to politics to philosophy to sex to humor (see why it used to be called Buggery?). All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged.

I found it funny. Sorry about the sand in your pussy.

the obvious answer for all of the women on the site...

fack off!! i've got my own bike!

Sled wrote:
I found it funny.

That's probably because you're a douchebag.

You see, man, the All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged portion of the description of The Grinder isn't intended to elicit such pedestrian hee-haws and crude guffaws like the material presented in the opening entry to this thread. That garbage isn't funny. The Grinder, and the UTMC itself, demands real humor and heartfelt, honest abuse. For example:

Sled, you are a cunt. I cannot believe how incredibly (and consistently) cunty you are. Your cuntery meets or exceeds any cuntery ever proposed or imagined previous to your cuntery. Your supermassive cuntery draws in lesser cunts with it's sheer gravity and absorbs them. A cunt of galactic proportion and scale, one so large, so deep, that millions of dollars worth of scientific instrumentation would need to be designed and employed to explore the entirety. A cunt immeasurable. Were one were to travel through time and space, one would still never see the extent and boundary of your cuntery. A quantum cunt.

See? Now that's funny.

Priest wrote: See? Now that's funny.

+1

I presumed that Sled was obviously joking. It seems as though I have again extended too much credit.

Priest wrote:

Sled wrote:
I found it funny.

That's probably because you're a douchebag.

You see, man, the All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged portion of the description of The Grinder isn't intended to elicit such pedestrian hee-haws and crude guffaws like the material presented in the opening entry to this thread. That garbage isn't funny. The Grinder, and the UTMC itself, demands real humor and heartfelt, honest abuse. For example:

Sled, you are a cunt. I cannot believe how incredibly (and consistently) cunty you are. Your cuntery meets or exceeds any cuntery ever proposed or imagined previous to your cuntery. Your supermassive cuntery draws in lesser cunts with it's sheer gravity and absorbs them. A cunt of galactic proportion and scale, one so large, so deep, that millions of dollars worth of scientific instrumentation would need to be designed and employed to explore the entirety. A cunt immeasurable. Were one were to travel through time and space, one would still never see the extent and boundary of your cuntery. A quantum cunt.

See? Now that's funny.

YEah, what he said!
and you've got scurvy bitch!

Rev wrote:I think a quantum is a minimum discrete unit of something, so it kinda breaks down for me there. Still a little funny, just not HA HA HA funny.

Hey, you're the professional writer, not I. Way to crush my literary dreams underfoot.

Rev wrote:No prob. Everybody needs an editor sometimes.

In defense of my essay, could not quantum be used to define a framework or foundation, as in quantum mechanics? Therefore, used as it is in my offering, could not "quantum cunt" be interpreted as the very root of cuntery, or the deepest level of such?

wow ......what happened to UTMC......