UTMC

...in pandas.

Doing homework on the laptop with the TV on in the background:
"Blah"... "Blah"... "Porn"... "Sexercises"... "Ménage à trois..."

I look up at this point.


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At first, I couldn't tell if I was watching a comedy show spoof on dateline or if it really was dateline. I think the host got into it a bit.

REALLY !?!?!?

Who cares, let them all die out what difference will it make, I now want a panda fur hat and a hunk of panda steak.....

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Rock.... Dear... I don't know how to say this delicately, so I'll just say it...

You need to fuck something other than your hand.

"I killed a panda"

"You killed Amanda?"

"No! A Panda! I killed a panda!"

erosvamp wrote:Rock.... Dear... I don't know how to say this delicately, so I'll just say it...

You need to fuck something other than your hand.

Just cook me a panda steak or panda stir fry and I still won't lighten up.

What the fuck do you have against pandas? Too warm and fuzzy for you? Pissed off because an endangered animal is getting more action than you are?

BTW... I posted this not as an animal conservation piece but more of a I-can't-believe-Dateline-said-Sexercises-and-Ménage à trois-on-the-air.

It ends with "less eating, less sleeping and more of this (pandas fucking).

I thought we were in America. America TV doesn't like to promote positive sex anything, human or otherwise.

Also... for future reference, the best way to get more humping for your penis is to cook for the lady and not tell her to cook something for you.

You now owe me a beer for that little nugget of wisdom.

erosvamp wrote:What the fuck do you have against pandas? Too warm and fuzzy for you? Pissed off because an endangered animal is getting more action than you are?

Let me get this straight, you post about pandas unwillingness to screw to save the species, then when people don't really care you give them shit about how pandas are getting laid more? Fuck pandas, penguins are cooler anyway.

/RM

roadmissile wrote:Let me get this straight, you post about pandas unwillingness to screw to save the species, then when people don't really care you give them shit about how pandas are getting laid more? Fuck pandas, penguins are cooler anyway.

/RM

you didn't watch the video... the pandas are fucking like crazy due to panda porn.

penguins are gay.

erosvamp wrote:you didn't watch the video... the pandas are fucking like crazy due to panda porn.

penguins are gay.

I did actually, but so fucking what, it's a pair of captive pandas, left to nature they would be extinct.

And fuck you, penguins are cool.

/RM

erosvamp wrote:What the fuck do you have against pandas? Too warm and fuzzy for you? Pissed off because an endangered animal is getting more action than you are?

BTW... I posted this not as an animal conservation piece but more of a I-can't-believe-Dateline-said-Sexercises-and-Ménage à trois-on-the-air.

It ends with "less eating, less sleeping and more of this (pandas fucking).

I thought we were in America. America TV doesn't like to promote positive sex anything, human or otherwise.

Also... for future reference, the best way to get more humping for your penis is to cook for the lady and not tell her to cook something for you.

You now owe me a beer for that little nugget of wisdom.

Really?!?....I would prefer if you were no where near my penis, and if you make a good panda steak I'd consider getting you a beer.

Can we please get past the flirting and back to the Panda fucking?

I spent last night trying to watch a group of raccoon screwing in the alley, but it left me hollow inside.

Gauss wrote:Can we please get past the flirting and back to the Panda fucking?

I spent last night trying to watch a group of raccoon screwing in the alley, but it left me hollow inside.

i watched a raccoon drag a huge eggplant out of the garbage and thought the Hamburgler was raping Grimace! Guess Raccoons don't need porn. If they do, I hope to see it on Dateline!

Gauss wrote:Can we please get past the flirting and back to the Panda fucking?

I spent last night trying to watch a group of raccoon screwing in the alley, but it left me hollow inside.

On the subject of Panda fucking, I am reminded of a good mind-fuck, ask someone if they "Would rather have sex with a chimpanzee or a Panda Bear"

The point of this is merely to make the subject evaluate the alternatives in their mind. Bonus if you actually get a sincere response.

RexAddict wrote: On the subject of Panda fucking, I am reminded of a good mind-fuck, ask someone if they "Would rather have sex with a chimpanzee or a Panda Bear"

The point of this is merely to make the subject evaluate the alternatives in their mind. Bonus if you actually get a sincere response.

I fall asleep every night contemplating which I would rather fuck, a Panda or some other animal. (It calms my night terrors)

So far Panda's have always come out on top, with the exception of a 3 legged wolverine with dentures and a yeast infection. (I like to bake breads)

But now, thanks to goose, it will have to compete with Grimace rape fantasies.

Gauss wrote: ...with the exception of a 3 legged wolverine with dentures and a yeast infection. .

I'm sure you can find one of those on Colfax

RexAddict wrote:

Gauss wrote: ...with the exception of a 3 legged wolverine with dentures and a yeast infection. .

I'm sure you can find one of those on Colfax

You know, that is what I thought. It was a big factor in me moving so close to Colfax...But so far, while I see a lot of drunks and stuff, the place is pretty devoid of handicapped wolverine prostitues.

I kind of feel a little ripped off.

For the better I guess..I mean, my yard it tiny, so there is no place to bury the bodies anyway...and wood chipper rental is through the roof!

roadmissile wrote:

erosvamp wrote:penguins are gay.

And fuck you, penguins are cool.

/RM

No penguins are gay.



RM, why are you defending Rock? I am sure he is quite capable of doing that all by himself.

RM... stop fucking your hand, while thinking about gay penguins, and find a chick to hump. You're too angry.

Rock... I will not make you a panda steak and I wasn't giving you how to treat a chick wisdom to use towards me. I'm sure your penis is fine but I am quite happy with mine.

Christ, back to the flirting...

Ok let's see if I can get this back on track....get some opinions

Pandas and Anal Bleaching: How should one approach the subject? Do I need to buy it dinner first?

On a related side note, lets say if, IF I somehow got access to a really cold (shivering) penguin, could the Panda be convinced it is a panda vibrator?

Gauss wrote:Christ, back to the flirting...

Ok let's see if I can get this back on track....get some opinions

Pandas and Anal Bleaching: How should one approach the subject? Do I need to buy it dinner first?

On a related side note, lets say if, IF I somehow got access to a really cold (shivering) penguin, could the Panda be convinced it is a panda vibrator?

Thanks Gauss, your last three posts were jangleplatz!

Sorry mate, (evidently) penguins do not shiver.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Do_penguins_shiver

erosvamp wrote: the pandas are fucking like crazy due to panda porn. .

so, that's why AL Gore invented the internets...Panda Porn!

goose wrote:

Gauss wrote:Christ, back to the flirting...

Ok let's see if I can get this back on track....get some opinions

Pandas and Anal Bleaching: How should one approach the subject? Do I need to buy it dinner first?

On a related side note, lets say if, IF I somehow got access to a really cold (shivering) penguin, could the Panda be convinced it is a panda vibrator?

Thanks Gauss, your last three posts were jangleplatz!

Seriously, the man is on a fucking roll.

/RM

If the subject is anal bleaching then I would recommend Penguin Tartare served with a nice chilled Red. Allow time to finish the bottle before the subject comes up. Approach it as a "what if" type scenario. Never let a panda think you have a problem with the coloration.. they are weird about that...

Hand fucking kills kittens, but we got a shitload, so rock on Rock.

Grimace is a rapist? Purple, man, dead giveaway.

Where did my picture of the man fucking the penguin go?

I love the ball gagged Grimace.