UTMC

So had an interesting night last night. The GF and I had a talk and what it all comes down to is that she does not love me the way that she feels she needs to in order to be in a relationship with me. It sucks but what the fuck can I do, not much. She was the reason for me staying down in Cali and trying to make it work down here soooooo... Guess who is coming back to the PNW. The more we talked the more we realized that we were both in love with the idea of a relationship and that the actual act of the relationship was just alright. I still love her, she loves me but just not in that way.

Everything is going to be fine and we are gong to try and go the whole friend route but its going to sting for awhile. I mean nobody like to hear that they are not loved and that feelings have changed... Fuck I don't know what I am getting at here just a mental dump.

I am excited to see my PNW buddies in may.

I feel like shit.

Thanks for listening.

Oh and I rode home in the rain... Fucking poetic.

Better to have gotten it out of the way than to spend a long time in a bitter, cold relationship.

I thought you moved to Cali for the lane splitting and the epic twisties.
Don't break up with lane splitting and epic twisties.

In all reality, that does suck. I feel for ya for sure, but it's like DG just said...

Welcome to the world young squire.

We've all been there. Relationships are a learning experience. Take what you've learned here and apply it to the next one.

I've always thought that falling in love was waaay more fun than actually being in love.
That being said, I've also come to recognize that being in love (read: in a relationship) is far more stable than the alternative, and therefore better in the long term. I'll take the emotional security and predictability over the high of the alternative any day. But everyone's different. On some level you probably know what's good for you, so take care of yourself.

motorpsycho67 wrote:Welcome to the world young squire.

We've all been there. Relationships are a learning experience. Take what you've learned here and apply it to the next one.

Been there before and done that... Applied prior logic and I guess this time is better because she didn't cheat on me, take our dog, or try and take the kz.

I just feel like I have been on the bad end of shitty deal after shitty deal for the last six months. This is just another in that line. I just want something to go right. Anything

Happy moving on, fella!

All is going to be well... Just had a rough morning and a rather rapid reappraisal of what I was doing with my life. Moving back to the PNW and maybe getting a place with Kam and a few others when I graduate in may. Life will move on and be fine. Sorry for the mental brain dump UTMC. Just hit a wall.

Good luck
Ah piss, I thought I could add something but I cannot, as you stated you have been through enough of this in terms of relationships and everything else. So again, good luck, and may you find better days under a new (old) set of stars in PNW.

scumbag wrote:

motorpsycho67 wrote:Welcome to the world young squire.

We've all been there. Relationships are a learning experience. Take what you've learned here and apply it to the next one.

Been there before and done that... Applied prior logic and I guess this time is better because she didn't cheat on me, take our dog, or try and take the kz.

I just feel like I have been on the bad end of shitty deal after shitty deal for the last six months. This is just another in that line. I just want something to go right. Anything

Very mature perspective you've got. Sucks bad in the short term, but things will work out.

Look forward to having you back. Maybe we can actually meet up, rather than just talk about it.

Rabbit_Fighter wrote:

scumbag wrote:

motorpsycho67 wrote:Welcome to the world young squire.

We've all been there. Relationships are a learning experience. Take what you've learned here and apply it to the next one.

Been there before and done that... Applied prior logic and I guess this time is better because she didn't cheat on me, take our dog, or try and take the kz.

I just feel like I have been on the bad end of shitty deal after shitty deal for the last six months. This is just another in that line. I just want something to go right. Anything

Very mature perspective you've got. Sucks bad in the short term, but things will work out.

Look forward to having you back. Maybe we can actually meet up, rather than just talk about it.

Ain't that the truth... I think the last time I saw you was... I don't know. Geeeze.

scumbag wrote: Been there before and done that... Applied prior logic and I guess this time is better because she didn't ... try and take the kz.

I hate it when break ups turn into some weird competition to see who can be the bigger asshole.

fish . . . sea . . . .you'll be allright. bad luck? yeah, that too shall pass. things turn around, i hope

goose wrote:fish . . . sea . . . .you'll be allright. bad luck? yeah, that too shall pass. things turn around, i hope

Yeah Goose, I have been learning to appreciate the small victories. I feel a heap better at the moment after talking to PNW folks about possible housing plans and jobs. The lady and I talked more this eve and came to the conclusion that we both moved impulsively and just threw out logic (that's love right? ha). We were both looking for companionship and found it in sex and wonderful evenings spent hanging out talking, laughing, debating, and planning small trips to explore nature. The sex didn't need to be there and that is what turned it from a friendship into a relationship. Don't get me wrong the sex was great and we really clicked emotionally but it was just not what we needed. From what I believe the sex was a driving force in defining what we had defined. It hurt at first and it was a hard pill to swallow partly because I had tried so hard in my mind to define it in a certain way that all other options seemed obtuse.

"All suffering comes from desire"

Ha! What I was desiring was blinding me from what was going to truly make me happy. I love her and I am now discovering how to love her even better as a friend. She loves me and she is doing the same so it feels good. I don't feel the heartache so much because I still have her in my life.

Oh to grow and learn.

Just popped in. It's goood you two are on good terms despite the sad times. I was a little older than you when I learned to take breakups as another opportunity to really understand what I want and don't want in a woman--like a fine-tuning thing, so I have an even clearer idea when I would meet the next possible one.

But again, it's good you two still like eachother, and I'm sure, wish eachother the best, and it's goood you're healing.

goose wrote:fish . . . sea . . . .you'll be allright. bad luck? yeah, that too shall pass. things turn around, i hope

This.

I went through something sort of similar at the end of January. Sucks but we're still friends but now I'm going out with friends much more, having tons of genuine fun and sex life is best/healthiest evar. (Sorry, not trying to turn this into sex talk. ) Committed, strict monogamous relationships are ridiculous in a lot of ways for young folk who are all over the place physically and otherwise, imo. Along with commitment they take work and the right circumstances for it to be right for both people. In my case, more work and commitment than I'm willing to invest at this point in my life, especially if it means sacrificing companionship and friendship in the long term.

Come back to the NW and have a kickass summer.