UTMC

...me, apparently.

It's nigh on three o'clock in the morning, and some drunk kid keeps calling me, convinced that I'm gonna send a hooker to his hotel room in South San Francisco.

Either it's just drunk kids having a laugh, which I'm cool with, or someone got a hold of the wrong number somewhere down the line, which I hope is not the case.

I use my phone as an alarm clock, and I really don't want it blowing up all night.

Perhaps he was looking for Amy Winehouse cause Xaos told him?

sorry 'bout that . . . . it was cold in my apartment.

In an instance such as this, I would look up the NON-emergency phone number for your local police or sheriff's department, and give him that number to call.

I had a similar circumstance a couple years back. Some guy called me, repeatedly starting at about 3 am, looking for Shaniqua. He didn't seem dissuaded by the fact that my voicemail greeting referred to the number belonging to Thom in a decidedly waspish male voice.

Does your phone allow you to assign different ring tones to different numbers? I have on occasion assigned "mute" to the numbers from more persistent telemarketers with great success.

There was a persistent drunken asshole who would call my (elderly) parents' home number around closing time looking for "sheniqua". Mom and Dad are ever so polite and proper, and would ask what number he was dialing, and he would say their number, but with an extra digit tacked on the end. The 'rents patiently explained to Drink-Soddened Twit that phone numbers don't have 8 digits, always to no avail.

I am not that polite, and after the 15th call in a month took to answering them myself:

"isth sheneequa therrrrreeeee....."

"yes"

"lemmmeee schpeak to herrrr"

"she can't talk right now"

"whyyy"

"something is in her mouth"*

*those were not my exact words


*CLICK*


he never called again.

Well played good sir. Well played.

Fortunately for me, the situation was pretty entertaining.

I got a text one night about three years ago. "Wanna fuck?" "Sure," I sent back, "but I've got crabs." "U r gross" I thought for a few minutes. "I'll shave real quick, and paint my face." "Wtf?" "should I bring the big toy?" The replies stopped coming. Three days later I sent another text to the number, "I'm watching you. Yummm."

Sisyphus wrote:I got a text one night about three years ago. "Wanna fuck?" "Sure," I sent back, "but I've got crabs." "U r gross" I thought for a few minutes. "I'll shave real quick, and paint my face." "Wtf?" "should I bring the big toy?" The replies stopped coming. Three days later I sent another text to the number, "I'm watching you. Yummm."

That made my morning.

Thank you.