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Church goers shocked, SHOCKED to find Jesus had a penis

A forum for the off topic stuff. Everything from religion to philosophy to sex to humor (see why it used to be called Buggery?). All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged.
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SidVicious
Barista of Doom
Location: EM27ii
Contact:

Church goers shocked, SHOCKED to find Jesus had a penis

Post by SidVicious » Fri Apr 16, 2010 3:12 am

:lol: Only in Oklahoma.


really long link, click here


Hell is waking up every goddamn day and not even knowing why you're here -Marv

Nothing beats a hangover like kitten love -guitargeek

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piccini9
Everybody dies. It's a love story.

Post by piccini9 » Fri Apr 16, 2010 3:36 am

But the fact that the poor guy was thrashed half to death, and nailed to a cross is just fine?

:roll:
Adding pink and unicorns makes everything better.
-roadmissile

Treatment may include things like riding motorcycles and crocheting… whatever it takes to counteract the deleterious effects of existence. - Rolly

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Bigshankhank
Fully Autonomous Cock-Puncher
Location: Exiled to Living in a Van Down By The River
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Post by Bigshankhank » Fri Apr 16, 2010 4:38 am

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It's time for Humankind to ditch the imaginary friends of our species' childhood and grow the fuck up.
-Davros

"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"

Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness

Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.

erosvamp
Sophisticated Meat Machine
Location: denver

Post by erosvamp » Fri Apr 16, 2010 5:14 am

My God has a bigger dick than your Jesus.
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"If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less." -General Eric Shinseki

Toonce(s)
Asshat Spambot
Location: south of cheese

Post by Toonce(s) » Fri Apr 16, 2010 7:38 am

erosvamp wrote:My God has a bigger dick than your Jesus.
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"Jesus will come again? My god already came twice this morning!"
It's a stack of fuck-shit on top of itself, Ninja.

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xtian
Le coureur de lames chasse Tinti...
Location: belgium
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Post by xtian » Fri Apr 16, 2010 8:50 am

I guess his wife would have mention it if he did have any.
I'm not really from around here.

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DerGolgo
Zaphod's Zeitgeist
Location: Potato

Post by DerGolgo » Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:25 am

piccini9 wrote:But the fact that the poor guy was thrashed half to death, and nailed to a cross is just fine?

:roll:
Hey, what else would you do to a long-haired socialist hippie freak who may actually have provoked a credit-crisis by kicking the moneylenders out of their place of business (which also happened to be the temple)?

Also, I have just watched that video, and that is...well...I can understand how some people would feel threatened by the image of a guy whose penis is bigger than one of his legas and big enough to fuck himself in the chest with.
If there were absolutely anything to be afraid of, don't you think I would have worn pants?

I said I have a big stick.

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rubber buccaneer
Magnum Jihad

Post by rubber buccaneer » Fri Apr 16, 2010 10:48 am

RexAddict wrote: "Jesus will come again? My god already came twice this morning!"
Jesus isn't coming, he's just breathing heavy.

motorpsycho67
Double-dip Diogenes
Location: City of Angels

Post by motorpsycho67 » Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:49 am

They thought Jesus was a eunuch?

No wonder Christians are sexually repressed.
'75 Honda CB400F
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Drift
Magnum Jihad

so

Post by Drift » Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:33 pm

So that's what happened to my old roomate's bong.
The Lemonade is a LIE!!! - Captain

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sun rat
Dominatrix of Skulduggery
Location: bfe
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Post by sun rat » Fri Apr 16, 2010 3:11 pm

you know, that IS a rather huge penis, proportionally speaking.

but then he is the son of god, so it just goes to figure that he'd be well hung.



i think i'll leave quietly now, out the side door, before you all start the bonfire...
fuck it all.

Beemer Dan
Dark Poohbah
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Post by Beemer Dan » Fri Apr 16, 2010 3:52 pm

sun rat wrote:you know, that IS a rather huge penis, proportionally speaking.
Pretty standard for a Jewish guy really.
They swore it was the correct one, but swearing doesn't make a sprocket fit where it doesn't want to. --WeAintFoundShit

piccini9
Everybody dies. It's a love story.

Post by piccini9 » Fri Apr 16, 2010 4:18 pm

Just to be clear here. Are they talking about Jesus's killer abs?
I wasn't sure how they were seeing his massive schlong through the loincloth.
Really? They think that's his dick?
Adding pink and unicorns makes everything better.
-roadmissile

Treatment may include things like riding motorcycles and crocheting… whatever it takes to counteract the deleterious effects of existence. - Rolly

SidVicious
Barista of Doom
Location: EM27ii
Contact:

Post by SidVicious » Fri Apr 16, 2010 4:59 pm

yep. that's what they're seeing. and people see what they want to see, so i guess they want some dick...
Hell is waking up every goddamn day and not even knowing why you're here -Marv

Nothing beats a hangover like kitten love -guitargeek

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Sisyphus
Rigging the Ancient Mariner
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Post by Sisyphus » Fri Apr 16, 2010 5:54 pm

Me, personally, I like the skull peeking out from underneath. You'd think someone would get all uppity about that, but then again, there's a dead guy with a dick on his chest hanging from a cross. So maybe not.
Sent from my POS laptop plugged into the wall

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sun rat
Dominatrix of Skulduggery
Location: bfe
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Post by sun rat » Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:36 pm

Beemer Dan wrote:
sun rat wrote:you know, that IS a rather huge penis, proportionally speaking.
Pretty standard for a Jewish guy really.
i've never dated a jewish guy. time to look for one...
fuck it all.

12ci
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Rive Gauche Anacostia

Post by 12ci » Fri Apr 16, 2010 7:55 pm

The crucifix in question is a San Damiano cross, a common Catholic icon that originated in Italy in the 12th century and is widely associated with St. Francis of Assisi and the order he founded, the Franciscans.

The original cross is in Assisi, Italy.

The San Damiano cross is considered an icon because it depicts biblical figures.

The crucifix hanging at St. Charles Borromeo resembles other San Damiano crucifixes except for Jesus’ abdominal area, which is noticeably more pronounced than on similar crucifixes
(emphasis added)

the original:
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today you decide what tomorrow will bring

roadmissile
Chief Marketing Schwaggerizer
Location: CO

Post by roadmissile » Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:11 am

Don't fear God's love, he hasn't gotten anyone pregnant in over two thousand years!

/RM
/Speed is our religion.

"If requests are an option, I'd like to be hit by a beautiful and highly trained nurse, driving a marshmallow. Naked. And then she would buy me an ice cream." - Rev

Metalredneck
Largely Uncontroversial

Post by Metalredneck » Sat Apr 17, 2010 4:22 am

<a href="" title="god_vs_god by redneckfri13, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4031/430 ... 7512_o.jpg" width="288" height="288" alt="god_vs_god" /></a>
Done.

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