You stuck my flash drive in your vagina. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I don’t think this is a fad sweeping the city, so this one’s for you.
We met at a Millcreek Tavern. You said you were from Lancaster. You were beautiful, you liked me. It was perfect. But then…
We went back to my apartment. We watched The Breakfast Club. You had never seen it before. We then ended up in my bed, as planned. And had sex, as planned.
You looked beautiful half covered in my sheets when I left to use the bathroom. When I came back, this is what I saw:
You standing naked at my computer. You with your hand on the keyboard, not typing. You grabbing the flash drive.
The flash drive pops out.
You look at it.
You squat a little bit.
You insert it into your vagina, like a tampon.
I am speechless.
You proceed to get dressed, say you have to go home, and leave. The number you gave me doesn’t work.
I am confused. I’d like to see you again. I’d like to see my flash drive again.
Your name is Rebecca. You have long blond hair.
Please get in touch. I am a very understanding person.
PLEASE LOGIN TO SEE ANYTHING.
This measure is inconvenient, yes, but necessary at present.
Click below for more information.
EVERYTHING IS MARKED UNREAD!!
2024 LOGIN/Posting ISSUES
If you cannot Debauch because you get an IP blacklist error, try Debauching again time. It may work immediately, it may take a few attempts. It will work eventually, I don't think I had to click debauch more than three times. Someone is overzealous at our hosting company, but only on the first couple of attempts.
If you have problems logging in, posting, or doing anything else, please get in touch.
You know the email (if you don't, see in the registration info below), you know where to find the Administerrerrerr on the Midget Circus.
Some unpleasant miscreant was firing incessant database queries at our server, which forced the Legal Department of our hosting company, via their Abuse subdivision, to shut us down. No I have none.
All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.
To restrict further overloads, any unregistered users had to be locked out.
How do we know who is or isn't an unregistered user?
By forcing anyone who wants in to Log In.
Is that annoying?
Yes. But there's only so much the Administerrerrerr can do to keep this place running.
Again, if you have any problems: get in touch.
REGISTRATION! NEW USERS!
This measure is inconvenient, yes, but necessary at present.
Click below for more information.
EVERYTHING IS MARKED UNREAD!!
click her for the instant fix
Show
First fix:
Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
As part of that, the server no longer stores what topics you have or haven't read.
IT IS STILL RECORDED!
But now, that information lives in a delicious cookie, rather than the forum database.
Upside: this should reduce the load of database.
Downside: if you use multiple devices to access the board, or you reject delicious cookies, you won't always have that information cookie. But the New Posts feature should take care of that.
PLEASE NOTIFY THE ADMINISTERRERRERR ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS!
- open the menu at the top
- hit New Posts to see what's actually new and browse the new stuff from there
- go back to the Forum Index
- open the menu at the top again
- click Mark forums read
this will zero the unread anything for you, so you can strive forth into the exciting world of the new cookie thing.
Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
As part of that, the server no longer stores what topics you have or haven't read.
IT IS STILL RECORDED!
But now, that information lives in a delicious cookie, rather than the forum database.
Upside: this should reduce the load of database.
Downside: if you use multiple devices to access the board, or you reject delicious cookies, you won't always have that information cookie. But the New Posts feature should take care of that.
PLEASE NOTIFY THE ADMINISTERRERRERR ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS!
2024 LOGIN/Posting ISSUES
Click if you have a problem.
Show
If you cannot Debauch because you get an IP blacklist error, try Debauching again time. It may work immediately, it may take a few attempts. It will work eventually, I don't think I had to click debauch more than three times. Someone is overzealous at our hosting company, but only on the first couple of attempts.
If you have problems logging in, posting, or doing anything else, please get in touch.
You know the email (if you don't, see in the registration info below), you know where to find the Administerrerrerr on the Midget Circus.
Some unpleasant miscreant was firing incessant database queries at our server, which forced the Legal Department of our hosting company, via their Abuse subdivision, to shut us down. No I have none.
All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.
To restrict further overloads, any unregistered users had to be locked out.
How do we know who is or isn't an unregistered user?
By forcing anyone who wants in to Log In.
Is that annoying?
Yes. But there's only so much the Administerrerrerr can do to keep this place running.
Again, if you have any problems: get in touch.
REGISTRATION! NEW USERS!
Registration Information
Show
Automatic registration is disabled for security reasons.
But fear not!
You can register!
Option the First:
Please drop our fearless Administerrerrerr a line.
Tell him who you are, that you wish to join, and what you wish your username to be. The Administerrerrerr will get back to you. If you're human, and you're not a damn spammer, expect a reply within 24 hoursish. Usually quicker, rarely slower.
Unfortunately, the Contact Form is being a total primadonna right now, so please send an email to the obvious address.
Posting this address in clear text is just the "on" switch for spambots, but here is a hint.
Option the Second:
Find us on Facebook, in the magnificent
Umah Thurman Midget Circus
Join up there, or just drop the modmins a message. They will pass any request on to the Administerrerrerr for this place.
But fear not!
You can register!
Option the First:
Please drop our fearless Administerrerrerr a line.
Tell him who you are, that you wish to join, and what you wish your username to be. The Administerrerrerr will get back to you. If you're human, and you're not a damn spammer, expect a reply within 24 hoursish. Usually quicker, rarely slower.
Unfortunately, the Contact Form is being a total primadonna right now, so please send an email to the obvious address.
Posting this address in clear text is just the "on" switch for spambots, but here is a hint.
Option the Second:
Find us on Facebook, in the magnificent
Umah Thurman Midget Circus
Join up there, or just drop the modmins a message. They will pass any request on to the Administerrerrerr for this place.
You stuck my flash drive in your vagina.
-
WeAintFoundShit
- Ayatollah of Mayhem
- Location: Davis
You stuck my flash drive in your vagina.
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/mis/1701584027.html
"The grip on the right is the fun regulator." -Donny Greene
I crash a lot.
I crash a lot.
-
Bigshankhank
- Fully Autonomous Cock-Puncher
- Location: Exiled to Living in a Van Down By The River
- Contact:
This is going to feel, a little weird...
It's time for Humankind to ditch the imaginary friends of our species' childhood and grow the fuck up.
-Davros
"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"
Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness
Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.
-Davros
"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"
Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness
Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.
-
DerGolgo
- Zaphod's Zeitgeist
- Location: Potato
...okay, whatever would come of such a coupling, any relationship that starts with the woman smuggling a piece of personal electronics out of the guys apartment in her vagina would most certainly be interesting...
If there were absolutely anything to be afraid of, don't you think I would have worn pants?
I said I have a big stick.
I said I have a big stick.
-
Jaeger
- Baron von Scrapple
- Location: NoVA
- Contact:
-
WeAintFoundShit
- Ayatollah of Mayhem
- Location: Davis
Yeah, I kinda wanna crack the dude a good one in the head for being so spineless and desperate.DerGolgo wrote:...okay, whatever would come of such a coupling, any relationship that starts with the woman smuggling a piece of personal electronics out of the guys apartment in her vagina would most certainly be interesting...
He should have just called her out and taken his fucking flash drive back right then and there. Now he's what, being nice, trying to get it back? Trying to score again? Trying to... start a relationship?
Fuuuck that.
"The grip on the right is the fun regulator." -Donny Greene
I crash a lot.
I crash a lot.
-
rolly
- Tim Horton hears a Who?
- Location: Greater Trauma Area
- Contact:
Beh. I believe it's a work of fiction.WeAintFoundShit wrote:Yeah, I kinda wanna crack the dude a good one in the head for being so spineless and desperate.DerGolgo wrote:...okay, whatever would come of such a coupling, any relationship that starts with the woman smuggling a piece of personal electronics out of the guys apartment in her vagina would most certainly be interesting...
He should have just called her out and taken his fucking flash drive back right then and there. Now he's what, being nice, trying to get it back? Trying to score again? Trying to... start a relationship?
Fuuuck that.
-
Sisyphus
- Rigging the Ancient Mariner
- Location: The Muckworks
- Contact:
-
JoJoLesh
- Magnum Jihad
- Location: Mid-Michigan
- Contact:
-
guitargeek
- Master Metric Necromancer
- Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
- Contact:
I'd have jammed her up about it on the spot. Those things cost money! I'll dig the fucker out if I have to, but she's not leaving with that drive. If she wants some music, I'll burn her a CD and she can stick it wherever she likes.
Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
-
Photo
- Bacon Torpedo
- Location: Aurora, CO
Maybe he's worried that she isn't USB-2 compatible...WeAintFoundShit wrote:He should have just called her out and taken his fucking flash drive back right then and there. Now he's what, being nice, trying to get it back? Trying to score again? Trying to... start a relationship?
Fuuuck that.
"Brought to you, by Carl's Jr."
-
Metalredneck
- Largely Uncontroversial
-
red
- Yap. Doomed for all eternity.
- Location: Indy
- Contact:
LOL!BackDoorBarbie wrote:i would suspect this woman immediately. the handbook says you are to place the microfilm in your anus and not a flash drive in your vagina. this is so far against protocol i dont think she was a real secret agent.
If it's true, I wonder what the "author" does for a living? It's like a scene from a smutty remake of "Sneakers".
Hey, that's not a bad idea!
Proud Survivor From Thread Hole 64 Campaign
1998 Ducati 900SS/CR
1987 CBR600F Hurricane Sprawl Bike
-=High Tech / Low Life=-
1998 Ducati 900SS/CR
1987 CBR600F Hurricane Sprawl Bike
-=High Tech / Low Life=-
-
Ames
- Megachiroptera Übermench
- Location: Denver, CO in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!
- Contact:
Bwa-ha-ha!BackDoorBarbie wrote:i would suspect this woman immediately. the handbook says you are to place the microfilm in your anus and not a flash drive in your vagina. this is so far against protocol i dont think she was a real secret agent.
You have made The Hot Wife of DOOM!(tm) and I laugh heartily.
Cheers,
Ames.
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you...stranger!
Quid Ita Serius?
You never know how much you appreciate your civil liberties until they've been violated.
Ames.
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you...stranger!
Quid Ita Serius?
You never know how much you appreciate your civil liberties until they've been violated.
-
Sisyphus
- Rigging the Ancient Mariner
- Location: The Muckworks
- Contact:
-
Ames
- Megachiroptera Übermench
- Location: Denver, CO in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!
- Contact:
-
urbanscum
- Magnum Jihad
- Location: Fair Albion
- Contact:
-
Beemer Dan
- Dark Poohbah
- Location: Oregon
- Contact:
This is disturbing, but nothing compared to the gal that makes off with the Sun Sparc station! That guy needs to get checked, he might have caught a case of Babbages from her.
edit: I spelled "Sparc" wrong. shit!
edit: I spelled "Sparc" wrong. shit!
Last edited by Beemer Dan on Wed May 05, 2010 12:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
They swore it was the correct one, but swearing doesn't make a sprocket fit where it doesn't want to. --WeAintFoundShit