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You stuck my flash drive in your vagina.
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 10:19 am
by WeAintFoundShit
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/mis/1701584027.html
You stuck my flash drive in your vagina. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I don’t think this is a fad sweeping the city, so this one’s for you.
We met at a Millcreek Tavern. You said you were from Lancaster. You were beautiful, you liked me. It was perfect. But then…
We went back to my apartment. We watched The Breakfast Club. You had never seen it before. We then ended up in my bed, as planned. And had sex, as planned.
You looked beautiful half covered in my sheets when I left to use the bathroom. When I came back, this is what I saw:
You standing naked at my computer. You with your hand on the keyboard, not typing. You grabbing the flash drive.
The flash drive pops out.
You look at it.
You squat a little bit.
You insert it into your vagina, like a tampon.
I am speechless.
You proceed to get dressed, say you have to go home, and leave. The number you gave me doesn’t work.
I am confused. I’d like to see you again. I’d like to see my flash drive again.
Your name is Rebecca. You have long blond hair.
Please get in touch. I am a very understanding person.
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 10:38 am
by Bigshankhank
This is going to feel, a little weird...
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 10:52 am
by DerGolgo
...okay, whatever would come of such a coupling, any relationship that starts with the woman smuggling a piece of personal electronics out of the guys apartment in her vagina would most certainly be interesting...
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 12:11 pm
by Jaeger
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 12:16 pm
by WeAintFoundShit
DerGolgo wrote:...okay, whatever would come of such a coupling, any relationship that starts with the woman smuggling a piece of personal electronics out of the guys apartment in her vagina would most certainly be interesting...
Yeah, I kinda wanna crack the dude a good one in the head for being so spineless and desperate.
He should have just called her out and taken his fucking flash drive back right then and there. Now he's what, being nice, trying to get it back? Trying to score again? Trying to... start a relationship?
Fuuuck that.
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 12:35 pm
by rolly
WeAintFoundShit wrote:DerGolgo wrote:...okay, whatever would come of such a coupling, any relationship that starts with the woman smuggling a piece of personal electronics out of the guys apartment in her vagina would most certainly be interesting...
Yeah, I kinda wanna crack the dude a good one in the head for being so spineless and desperate.
He should have just called her out and taken his fucking flash drive back right then and there. Now he's what, being nice, trying to get it back? Trying to score again? Trying to... start a relationship?
Fuuuck that.
Beh. I believe it's a work of fiction.
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 2:21 pm
by Sisyphus
I happen to find this intriguing. I'm from a suburb of Erie, PA. It's called Millcreek. There is a Millcreek Tavern; it's not uncommon to meet people from Lancaster or wherever, though Lancaster is closer to Philly than Erie.
Wierd.
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 6:17 pm
by JoJoLesh
Are you missing you flash drive Sisyphus?
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 11:49 pm
by guitargeek
I'd have jammed her up about it on the spot. Those things cost money! I'll dig the fucker out if I have to, but she's not leaving with that drive. If she wants some music, I'll burn her a CD and she can stick it wherever she likes.
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:37 am
by Photo
WeAintFoundShit wrote:He should have just called her out and taken his fucking flash drive back right then and there. Now he's what, being nice, trying to get it back? Trying to score again? Trying to... start a relationship?
Fuuuck that.
Maybe he's worried that she isn't USB-2 compatible...
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:00 am
by Metalredneck
BackDoorBarbie wrote:i would suspect this woman immediately. the handbook says you are to place the microfilm in your anus and not a flash drive in your vagina. this is so far against protocol i dont think she was a real secret agent.
I love you, BDB.
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:34 am
by red
BackDoorBarbie wrote:i would suspect this woman immediately. the handbook says you are to place the microfilm in your anus and not a flash drive in your vagina. this is so far against protocol i dont think she was a real secret agent.
LOL!
If it's true, I wonder what the "author" does for a living? It's like a scene from a smutty remake of "Sneakers".
Hey, that's not a bad idea!
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:38 am
by Ames
BackDoorBarbie wrote:i would suspect this woman immediately. the handbook says you are to place the microfilm in your anus and not a flash drive in your vagina. this is so far against protocol i dont think she was a real secret agent.
Bwa-ha-ha!
You have made The Hot Wife of DOOM!(tm) and I laugh heartily.
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 2:43 pm
by Sisyphus
Maybe someone should reply to his CL ad. We could take this places.
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:34 pm
by Ames
Sisyphus wrote:Maybe someone should reply to his CL ad. We could take this places.
Like
Proof of douche
?
Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 2:32 pm
by aikiboy
I can't help wondering if the next person to sleep with this woman is risking tragic injury. It just can't be healthy to have enthusiastic encounters with a flash drive, at least not there, and what if it has a virus?
Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 12:28 pm
by urbanscum
a bit of diy?
Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 3:46 pm
by Beemer Dan
This is disturbing, but nothing compared to the gal that makes off with the Sun Sparc station! That guy needs to get checked, he might have caught a case of Babbages from her.
edit: I spelled "Sparc" wrong. shit!
