UTMC

"going home" and "beyond the sunset" are the music choices for the funeral tomorrow...

::shakes fist at the sky::


so far the stupid sister can't find them on cd (walmart lost the one she asked them to set aside for her).

may the gods make them disappear from itunes as well.



<i>i only half-heartedly apologize for seeming disrespectful of the dead. but i am the one living through all this morbid BS...</i>

Nitty Gritty Dirt Band had a song with the lyrics,

"Gravestones cheer the living dear, they're no use to the dead."

Just popped into my head. ?

the thought comes to me, i'd like to know who in the family pissed her off back in 1975 to make such choices.

that's when she wrote her wishes out...

i told my third daughter what the choices were and she had the exact same reaction as me: stood there and shook her fist at the sky...

sun rat wrote:
i told my third daughter what the choices were and she had the exact same reaction as me: stood there and shook her fist at the sky...

I can almost picture that. When I kick the bucket I want the funeral to be all of my friends at the bar hoisting beers to my ashes in an urn above a picture of me doing something really fun and stupid, preferably involving gasoline, fireworks or both.

Then, after everyone is good and drunk they can shoot what's left out of a potato cannon off a scenic turnout on the Angeles Crest and everyone does a commemorative burnout.

definitely a party. rock band and an open bar. or a drum circle with scantily clad fire spinners. and an open bar.

i don't plan on leaving much in the way of remains either, a few ashes to scatter on the pacific. the potato canon idea sounds great!

Funerals, they are for the living - and whatever sense of humor someone tries to leave behind.

I haven't really spent much time about what I'd want done with my bones after my hopefully ...confusing demise, but:
Since my ashes would be too big to be used in the particle beam of the beast that comes after the one that comes after the LHC, I want them to be exposed to a powerful neutron-flux to be transmuted into radioisotopes for use as contrast material in geophysical or botanical research.

Ah, who am I kidding.
An unmarked pauper's grave for me. Or soylent green. I'll be dead, what do I care.

my kids and i had an interesting conversation a few years ago after the mom of one of their friends died unexpectedly.

seems my kids are going to call up some ceremonial magicians we know to try to resurrect me first, before they send me off to the crematorium. but first the magicians will be required to resurrect a goldfish. just to make sure that i wouldn't come back as a zombie mom when they resurrect me...


my kids can be fucking hilarious sometimes.

did you know that it is impossible to cry and be all emotional when you are seething inside?

i had to have a little talk with the funeral director immediately after the service about the placement of my grandmother's remains. i talked with him because my grandfather was too upset to discuss their disregard for his specific request.

disrespectful motherfucker letting his own religious beliefs trump my grandfather's request.

you know, i just cannot fucking believe it still.

Would you care to clarify what happened?

Oh, thank you so much for creating the context for this story:

My father was recently disenterred for cremation. When he died in 1973 my grandfather would not allow cremation as my father had wanted. Since Gpa passed a while ago the path has been clear to honor dad's wishes.

My sisters went up to Oregon to supervise the process. The funeral director had never had to do that before, and I now understand that the process can be messy to say the least. Dad was buried in a tacky paisley polyester suit. (sorry, but it was the seventies, he was a hippie, albeit a highly educated one, etc) The funeral director said, when asked how it went...

"Thank God for polyester!"

rofl

dozer wrote:Would you care to clarify what happened?

sure.

my grandfather is a mason as was his dad and granddad to who knows how many generations. many masons want to be buried with their feet towards the setting sun. non-masonic christians want to be buried the other way.

they ignored his specific request from monday (i watched the guy write it down) when we set all this up and had placed her feet toward the east. granddad was upset and when he pointed this out, the funeral director feigned ignorance. my granddad was unable to argue but he was upset.

so i talked to the guy afterwards and he almost started arguing with me saying that "well, we do it this way because..." i had to interrupt him because i don't care why HE does that for his own folks. i wanted my grandfather's wishes for his wife carried out. period.

it's hours later and i'm still pissed. i'll call them and speak to someone about it.




and toonce? that's FUNNY!!!

I hope it's not an SCI funeral home too... Either way, that merits a complaint to the BBB, and you should ream him publicly. Asshole funeral directors piss me off.

dozer wrote:I hope it's not an SCI funeral home too... Either way, that merits a complaint to the BBB, and you should ream him publicly. Asshole funeral directors piss me off.

not SCI that i know of. it is called laurel land.

and yeah, i want a written apology for his unwillingness to comply. in fact, i want them to fucking VERIFY that they did it right after all. i should have stayed to make sure, but i was driving for my grandfather.

Call the masons. It's the kind of stuff fraternal organizations are there for. Let the ignorant asshole see how he likes getting some phone calls from people further up the food chain than he is.

Yeah, I've been mulling this over, and spoke to a few people. I'd call the owner of the whole place if that funeral director doesn't own the place himself and call the funeral director out. I can't think of any single policy at any cemetery that would dictate which direction someones feet must point. Shit, I've had to cut a hole in between two mausoleum crypts because the husband wanted to be able to talk to his wife when he was buried. At the very least make him write a letter and apologize, and I'd most definitely demand the O&C fees back from that douche too. If he's obstinate, threaten him with a lawsuit for breach of contract; if he wrote it down in the plans and didn't do it he'd better have a damn good explanation.

Asshole funeral directors piss me off.

Ditto, Thats what I do everyday, and it's the idiots that make the rest of us look bad.