UTMC

After losing another cat and having to fetch his stinking body out from under the shed, after having to re-bury the stinking corpse of another varmint I shot three weeks ago for the second time, and now after losing our best laying hen and all her brood to some foul creature of the night, I'm killing every animal around I don't want.

I've already reburied the dead skunk and poisoned the hole (whatever's been digging it up and eating it should find the bait much more appealing than a dead, rotting skunk carcass), blasted an active, huge hole with half a magazine, shoved a big rock in the hole for good measure and then filled it in, I'm setting rat traps with the cruelist bait I can find. Zero tolerance.

Later tonight I'm going to make an explosive booby-trap over the carcass-pit, in case the first thing that comes along to dig it up again isn't the only one.

All you sensitive people that read this entire post after seeing the title and reading it anyway... Well, don't be so shocked. My apologies.

Allah Akbar, Motherfuckers!!!

Well, the whole booby-trap thing was vehemently opposed so I nixxed that part of my master plan. I'm sure opposition will ease once something reallly gets fucked up.

Toonce wrote:Allah Akbar, Motherfuckers!!!

Don't you mean Admiral Ackbar, Motherfuckers!!! ?

Sysiphus, just remember to point the Claymores in the right direction!

Beemer Dan wrote:

Toonce wrote:Allah Akbar, Motherfuckers!!!

Don't you mean Admiral Ackbar, Motherfuckers!!! ?

Frappuccino ala Ackbar, Motherfuckers!!

You've brought up a very sore subject.
When I was very young I learned about mouse traps. I went on to learn about rat traps, bear traps, eel traps, crab traps, etc., etc.

Imagine my joy when I first heard of booby traps............and then my disappointment when I learned that not all things are named correctly.

Oh, that's rich! I wish I could have seen D's response to the explosive booby trap idea. You need a dog. I need a dog. When we had Mollie, no critters ever set foot out of our woods. Now that she's gone, they rule the place. About a week ago, J saw a hawk swoop down, and carry off one of our pullets.

Yeah I heard about that. Good thing the kids didn't see that. Pi diappeared, along with all 7 or 8 eggs the first night she sat on them. The only other hen left is Nero's daughter, so that isn't going to work without banjo music.

D was pretty hot about the whole blow-'em up strategy. In the end after pointing out that poisoning was just as indiscriminate as mining, I still had to back off. Girls are totally not fun. Sometimes.

Sounds lke you may have a fisher: http://www.borealforest.org/zoo/fisher.htm
We have 'em here, and they LOVE to kill cats.

Fishercats are bad bad motherfuckers. Good thing they're not any bigger, or they'd be tearing us up just for sport. Yes, we do have them around here.

Hmmm.. you've got a problem with carniverous varmints, and Midliferider has trouble with too many herbivores. If you can catch that fisher, send him to Midlife, both problems solved And then Midlife can get back to riding instead of this:

http://www.utmc-forum.org/pub/album_pic.php?pic_id=1017

That's the trouble with this nature stuff. Nuke and pave!

That's why nature is a mother.

Metalredneck wrote:Sounds lke you may have a fisher: http://www.borealforest.org/zoo/fisher.htm
We have 'em here, and they LOVE to kill cats.

Whatever it is, it's nasty. Probably smells bad, drools a lot and breathes loudly. IF I were permitted to proceed with Plan A, I'd get to see what it is/was.
I've waited till I couldn't see anymore and then some but wasn't able to see nor hear anything. Whatever it is, it comes 'round in the wee hours.

Sisyphus wrote:

Metalredneck wrote:Sounds lke you may have a fisher: http://www.borealforest.org/zoo/fisher.htm
We have 'em here, and they LOVE to kill cats.

Whatever it is, it's nasty. Probably smells bad, drools a lot and breathes loudly. IF I were permitted to proceed with Plan A, I'd get to see what it is/was.
I've waited till I couldn't see anymore and then some but wasn't able to see nor hear anything. Whatever it is, it comes 'round in the wee hours.

Toonce wrote:

BASTARD! I'd finally forgotten about that piece of shit!

Ames wrote: BASTARD! I'd finally forgotten about that piece of shit!

"Wait, ... What?"