UTMC

So I went to the bank to get the cash out for the possible SuMo purchase that might be happening this weekend. The conversation went something like this...

Me: I'd like to make a withdrawal from my savings, please.

Bank Girl: Ok, how much would you like?

Me: Three thousand dollars, please.

Bank Girl (while leaning over, reaching for drawer): How would you like that, is hundreds ok?

Me: Actually, could I get that in small, non-sequential, unmarked bills please?

Bank Girl, now frozen into position, bent over, arm extended, not quite reaching all the way to her cash drawer, could manage nothing more than an uncomfortable, worried, confused, and utterly blank stare.

Me (after a brief moment of delicious silence, and with a massively self pleased chuckle): Don't worry, it was a baaaad joke.

I laughed all the way out of the bank.

I love awkward bank times.

Kinda makes me think of the time I walked into the bank wearing my sunglasses. The teller in her bulletproof-glass window, the two people behind the regular counter, even the mortgage guy sitting at the desk in the back gave me a look like "you try it, punk, make my day".

DerGolgo wrote:Kinda makes me think of the time I walked into the bank wearing my sunglasses. The teller in her bulletproof-glass window, the two people behind the regular counter, even the mortgage guy sitting at the desk in the back gave me a look like "you try it, punk, make my day".

Tellers behind bulletproof glass? I expect that kind of paranoia in the Amerika, but there too?

I've walked into the bank with my helmet on, but I probably wouldn't try it south of the border.

rolly wrote:

DerGolgo wrote:Kinda makes me think of the time I walked into the bank wearing my sunglasses. The teller in her bulletproof-glass window, the two people behind the regular counter, even the mortgage guy sitting at the desk in the back gave me a look like "you try it, punk, make my day".

Tellers behind bulletproof glass? I expect that kind of paranoia in the Amerika, but there too?

I've walked into the bank with my helmet on, but I probably wouldn't try it south of the border.

It's different from bank to bank. The bank I was banking with at the time had a bulletproof glass enclosure for the teller. There was a counter for all business not involving cash-transactions.
Bank I'm with now doesn't have an enclosure like that. Probably used to be an insurance thing before someone noticed that just handing over the money and quickly getting the perp out of the building to let the cops deal with him is the best solution around.

I went to the bank to deposit a whack of money once and didn't feel like removing my helmet. They're pretty uppity; there's a sign that says, "For our customers' safety, please remove:" and there are poorly illustrated images of baseball hats, sunglasses, and so on and so forth. Fucking stupid, how everything these days is manipulating people to do things in the name of "safety." Thanks, George W, you fucking asshole.

I've always wanted to go buy about 500 rounds of .223 and when they give me the reciept I say, "Thanks, have a great day. Oh, and can you tell me where the nearest bell tower is?"

Sisyphus wrote:I went to the bank to deposit a whack of money once and didn't feel like removing my helmet. They're pretty uppity; there's a sign that says, "For our customers' safety, please remove:"

Pfff. Fucking politeness.
Banks over here are honest about it.
There's this sign (also found in many petrol stations):


And right next to the door a big, color coded scale so they can descern your height from the CCTV footage.

I hate it when institutions are so fucking polite and indirect about safety relevant stuff. Unfortunately, so many people are narcissistic morons who cannot comprehend that they aren't automatically above suspicion, you have to give them a fucking litany of bullshit excuses. You wouldn't believe how many people I've had on the phone who insisted that the fact that they just told me who they are should be sufficient proof of identity for me to hand over bank details.
All that "the customer is king" stuff may be nice and all, but it has led to many people being untterly unable to comprehend that not every of their whims can be indulged before they have even uttered it, nevermind that in financial matters, the law requires institutions trust no one.

Haven't seen the helmet one. Yet. Drives me nuts to just listen to advertising for anything (I don't have tv, but imagine it's as bad or worse) and realize how often fear of something is used to sell stuff. Totally new to me since 2001 or thereabouts. The whole "safety" aspect of deodorant, soft drinks, toothpaste, tires (alright, always been there), insurance, water filters, paint...that's just off the top of my head.
I bet if you sat down here in the US of Amnesia and wrote down every product which fear or uncertainty was used to push it, it'd be a mighty long list.

I had an email encounter with an old high school friend and all she could talk about was how afraid she was of just about everything and everyone. Under control, I suppose.

I like the joke. It is shady, but you aren't doing anything stupid that could be perceived as a threat.

I was a bank teller for a couple years in college. When somebody at the next closest bank gets their head blown apart with a shotgun, you learn to appreciate security. I would never walk into a bank with a helmet on, and sometimes feel weird walking into convenient stores with one on. When you've worked somewhere where the threat of robbery and violence is significant, you understand that pretty clearly.

I worked at a place with bulletproof glass, and was delighted to. People would say, "this makes me really uncomfortable" and I would point out that the branch hadn't been robbed once since it had been installed. Not that it made any difference, as I wouldn't be interested in testing the glass over somebody else's money.

I heard all kinds of dumb things over security like;
"Do I look like a criminal to you?" ("No sir, but I'm not sure what a criminal looks like exactly, and frankly, its not my job to. My job is to keep your money safe regardless of what someone looks like).

"Why do you need to see my ID . . . I've been banking here for 25 years!" ("We appreciate your business . . . I've only worked here for 6 months and haven't met you before. Nice to meet you.")

"Have you ever gone to the zoo dressed up as a gorilla. . . .just to see what would happen?" (seriously, somebody said this to me).

Favorite exchange:

Customer: "Hello, I've had amnesia and don't remember the last 25 years. I've opened accounts under various names and need to get it sorted out. They're under John Lennon, Marlon Brando . . . John Paul Jones"

Me: blank stare

Customer: "You know . . . of Led Zeppelin."

Me: "Um . . . .yeah, I know who he is, but um . . . . why don't you go talk to that lady over there."

Maybe I'll go to the bank dressed as a gorilla... Yeah...

I walked into my bank the other day. A small sign asked customers to remove items such as hats, sunglasses, motorcycle helmets, before entering.

WeAintFoundShit wrote:Me: Actually, could I get that in small, non-sequential, unmarked bills please?

There has to be some obscure clause in the Patriot Act that deems such language as terrorspeak .

A bunch of us used to go to Durango every Labor Day weekend. We have one shithead friend who would always go into the bank and have a few hundred dollars changed out to $2 bills.

Tellers were never happy with him, but I'll be dammed if they actually did it.

Couple branches of same bank I go to could not be further apart, one with billet proof glass that is slowly being dismantled over the years and very lax rent-a-cop outside helping customers park their cars, I walk in with helmet on very often, never a nervous look, I do take it off before approaching the window, but not always the sunglasses.

Another branch at the supermarket has no glass and a pretty "Rambo" rent-a-cop staring down the line, hoods and glasses have to come off or he will ask you to leave, never pushed it but I think he could ruin my day if he wanted to.

Ah yes, bank security. Only thing I know is never try to knock over a mob-owned bank.

Bigshankhank wrote:Ah yes, bank security. Only thing I know is never try to knock over a mob-owned bank.

Uh... are there non-Mob-owned banks?

--Jaeger

Jaeger wrote:

Bigshankhank wrote:Ah yes, bank security. Only thing I know is never try to knock over a mob-owned bank.

Uh... are there non-Mob-owned banks?

--Jaeger

I'm pretty sure they all are, in one form or another.

Question for Metalredneck--where did you find that creepy avatar and what do you know about it?

When I was in the Dominican Republic the banks there (and Panama as well, come to think about it) have the big mirrored glass so you can't see inside. Upon opening the door you are met with the cold stares of security guards with shotguns. I remember in the DR at least the guys would sit outside in lawn chairs with shotguns.

similar in Guatemala...pretty much any business of consequence had shotgun-toting private guards.

Jaeger wrote:

Bigshankhank wrote:Ah yes, bank security. Only thing I know is never try to knock over a mob-owned bank.

Uh... are there non-Mob-owned banks?

--Jaeger

No no, the mob owns the dumpster companies.

And the laundromats.

The laundromats For money, that is.