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The universe has imploded . . .

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:07 am
by goose
My brain cannot get a fix on this. On the one hand, I'm happy to see a sponsor of a motorcycle team. On the other hand, it hurts my brain to contemplate the source of this team's funding. It hurts, oh gawd how it hurts. Please, someone make it stop..... please!

http://www.examiner.com/handbags-in-nat ... ing-clutch


Paris Hilton posed for pictures while presenting the SuperMartXe VIP Motorcycle Team at the Hotel ME today in a full motorcycle racing outfit which she accessorized with a sparkling silver evening clutch. Paris Hilton even placed the evening clutch on the motorcycle she posed on as if it were a prop in the photo shoot.

The SuperMartXe VIP Motorcycle Team is a motorcycle racing team started by Paris Hilton. The SuperMartXe VIP Motorcycle Team is scheduled to compete in the 2011 125cc World Championship motorcycle competition using an Aprilla RSA 125. The two confirmed riders are Sergio Gadea of Spain and Maverick Vanales also of Spain.

Paris Hilton will also have a strong technical team behind her SuperMartXe VIP Motorcycle Team. Christian Lundberg and Rossano Brazzi will be behind the team for the 125ccWorld Championship title competition.

To view a slideshow or video of Paris Hilton wearing her sparkling silver evening clutch while posing for pictures as she presented her SuperMartXe VIP by Paris Hilton Motorcycle Team, please click on the slideshow or video to the left of this article. After viewing the slideshow or video, please hit your browsers back button.

Do not miss out on my handbag articles! Click on the subscribe button at the top of this article in order to subscribe to my column.

Image

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:36 am
by rolly
It's kind of beautifully bizarre. Every day the world seems more like William Gibson novel.

Regarding dissonance… Leonardo Da Vinci made killing machines for the Medicis. Sponsorship has always been faustian by nature.


EDIT: Goose, I can't wait to see your handbag articles!

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:01 am
by xtian
the guy riding this bike will have his lunch money stolen from day one of the championship.

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:43 am
by Pattio
Seems like a win-win-win for me, in the sense that rich people need to spend/invest/lose money in various ways, so of all the things ms hilton could spend her money on, I'm glad its something I like. This buys her access to networking on the racing circuit, which might just bring her in touch with a classier level of european royal than she is finding on party islands. She gets a reason to jet around the world. A team gets a sponsor (and a lame and garish color scheme to go with it, oh the shame) a rich person gets to blow off some fiscal steam and we (the spectators) get a team to watch, whose name itself can spark lively conversation. I also note that I was only able to type this after I had obscured the picture. My first draft of this was 'boobies'.

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:45 am
by Jaeger
Pattio wrote:I also note that I was only able to type this after I had obscured the picture. My first draft of this was 'boobies'.
I'm glad someone said it. She may be a vapid, overpriced media whore, but goddamn, she does sport some pretty impressive hypno-titties.

--Jaeger

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:58 am
by xtian
Jaeger wrote:
Pattio wrote:I also note that I was only able to type this after I had obscured the picture. My first draft of this was 'boobies'.
I'm glad someone said it. She may be a vapid, overpriced media whore, but goddamn, she does sport some pretty impressive hypno-titties.

--Jaeger
that's funny, my first thought was "she isn't even trying to look smart or classy, she's just trying as hard as she can to have boobies"

not

impressed.

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 11:32 am
by Sisyphus
I'd ride it.

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 12:36 pm
by goose
Rev wrote:
rolly wrote:EDIT: Goose, I can't wait to see your handbag articles!
Or at least your reasons for getting your news from the "National Handbag Examiner." :lol:
you google motorcycle + aprilia + clutch in the news section, and whammo, you're Goose the Sheep Shagger

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 12:43 pm
by 12ci
Jaeger wrote:
Pattio wrote:I also note that I was only able to type this after I had obscured the picture. My first draft of this was 'boobies'.
I'm glad someone said it. She may be a vapid, overpriced media whore, but goddamn, she does sport some pretty impressive hypno-titties.

--Jaeger
i was wondering if they were/are really hers, or photoshop...

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 1:43 pm
by roadmissile
Jaeger wrote:She may be a vapid, overpriced media whore
I honestly had to revise my opinion of her since watching Repo! The Genetic Opera and listening to them talk about her in the commentary. And while I'm in no hurry to paint my bike like that it doesn't even crack the top ten in terms of bad graphics.

I'm going with win-win-win as well, although I've just noticed as I'm writing this the pic in the topic review is cutting the top of that picture off at around her elbows :P

Boobies!

/RM

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 3:54 pm
by Beemer Dan
I've said it before:

That weird and crazy alternate universe where everything is backwards and freaked out.... we're living in it.

I'd be more impressed if she was the one racing the bike, but I'll take what I can get.

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 4:50 pm
by guitargeek
Lest we forget why the bitch is even famous in the first fucking place...

NSFW

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:07 pm
by roadmissile
guitargeek wrote:Lest we forget why the bitch is even famous in the first fucking place...

NSFW
Nothing warms the cockles like rich people fucking.

/RM

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:34 pm
by goose
roadmissile wrote:
Jaeger wrote:She may be a vapid, overpriced media whore
And while I'm in no hurry to paint my bike like that it doesn't even crack the top ten in terms of bad graphics.

I'm going with win-win-win as well, although I've just noticed as I'm writing this the pic in the topic review is cutting the top of that picture off at around her elbows :P

Boobies!

/RM
Indeed, it sort of has a "Barbie Knievel" paint scheme. The poor guy who has to wear the matching leathers . . . . better win!

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:39 pm
by roadmissile
goose wrote:Indeed, it sort of has a "Barbie Knievel" paint scheme. The poor guy who has to wear the matching leathers . . . . better win!
It could be a female rider too, although I'm not too proud to say I'd wear a set of leathers that match that if I got to ride professionally.

/RM

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:15 pm
by dozer
the ULTIMATE combination of titties and motorcycles, and STILL there are people who poo poo it. wtf.

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:25 pm
by Jaeger
roadmissile wrote: Nothing warms the cockles like rich people fucking.
Maybe the sub-cockles, maybe even the colon...

--Jaeger

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:40 pm
by roadmissile
Jaeger wrote:Maybe the sub-cockles, maybe even the colon...

--Jaeger
Sounds like maybe you've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense.

/RM

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:50 pm
by stiles
Jaeger wrote:
roadmissile wrote: Nothing warms the cockles like rich people fucking.
Maybe the sub-cockles, maybe even the colon...

--Jaeger

maybe even the spleen

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:53 pm
by stiles
12ci wrote:
Jaeger wrote:
Pattio wrote:I also note that I was only able to type this after I had obscured the picture. My first draft of this was 'boobies'.
I'm glad someone said it. She may be a vapid, overpriced media whore, but goddamn, she does sport some pretty impressive hypno-titties.

--Jaeger
i was wondering if they were/are really hers, or photoshop...
They had better look damn impressive, she paid enough for them.

Also, I'm going for win-win. It's ridiculous, but why not? Hell, I'm glad it's so ridiculous. Maximum entertainment/gawk/WTF? value without any expectation to win what-so-fuckingever.

This is a mastery of artfully lowered expectations and not-so-artfully raised PR boners from the vapid-rich and the media that slavers over them 24/7.

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 9:54 pm
by xtian
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:06 pm
by rolly
Man, how uncomfortable do those kids look with Paris' arms around them. Doesn't bode well for their racing performance.

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:02 am
by roadmissile
rolly wrote:Man, how uncomfortable do those kids look with Paris' arms around them. Doesn't bode well for their racing performance.
Well imagine scoring a ride on that bike when you're what? Maybe twelve? And then a famous girl is touching you while people are taking about a million photos and all you're concentrating on is hiding your boner.

/RM

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:16 am
by Ames
I'm sorry, all I think about when I see the vapid twat is the tremendous waste of opportunity she personifies. All of that money and opportunity in her family, the best colleges an institutions of academia available to her and she's most notable for being a vacuous bimbette party fuck-toy.

Yeah, of course the tits are fake. What else would she see worth spending her money on?

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:17 am
by WeAintFoundShit
The real news here is that Sergio Gadea is getting punted back to 125 GP from Moto2.

Oh wait... And Boobies. Those are always, always news. Even if you have seen those particular ones before.

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:52 am
by motorpsycho67
Yes, she's an annoying twat.

Yes, the cans are fake (which isn't my cup o' tea).

Is it bizarre?

Yes.


Ridiculous for the win.