UTMC

Be sure to get your pranks ready.

Must...buy...Superglue!

BULLSHIT!!!

I've always wanted to take a friend's car or bike. Let them think it was stolen. If that went wrong...like them reporting it stolen to the police, it could get ugly, people might go to jail over a harmless prank. Therefore, I never followed through with it.

I did jack up a friend's car once while they were away. Just so that it was barely off the ground with the rear axle resting on wood blocks. They got in and didn't notice anything abnormal, put it in gear it wouldn't go anywhere.

Reporting it to the police? Jail? I would set you on fire.

It's like valentine day, you don't have to do it on april 1rst if you're pulling bullshit every other day of the year.

To be clear, I mean I would set you on fire after I found out it was your fucked up idea of a joke, and laugh at your pain just the same as you laughed at mine over the stolen bike.

rolly wrote:Reporting it to the police? Jail? I would set you on fire.

I used to work in a warehouse where some of the guys thought it was funny to plastic wrap your car on your birthday. At the time I was driving my old show Bug with a $16,000 paint job on it. I told them if they so much as breathed on my car they would all suffer a slow and painful near death experience. My birthday passed uneventfully that year.

Friday was... interesting. I brought one of my young soldiers to his sergeant promotion board after several weeks of intense studying. He did alright, managed to keep his cool MUCH better than most people can during the hour-long grilling session.

Then I escorted in two other troops for their own promotion boards, since their respective sergeants were unavailable. They too managed to deliver a satisfactory performance under extreme stress, but realized they could have done better if they hadn't gotten nervous (which is the whole point).

After three hours of that, we all got called back into the conference room, where the sergeant major and all the senior NCOs spent ten minutes describing how all of them had apparently wasted their evenings and weekends for the past month, because nobody came in acting like they actually wanted to be promoted today. Since none of the attendees cared, they could come back when they actually gave a damn, board adjourned.

Three shellshocked soldiers came to attention and prepared to depart, when the sergeant major asked what day it was.

Sonsabitches.

thrasherbill wrote:

rolly wrote:Reporting it to the police? Jail? I would set you on fire.

I used to work in a warehouse where some of the guys thought it was funny to plastic wrap your car on your birthday. At the time I was driving my old show Bug with a $16,000 paint job on it. I told them if they so much as breathed on my car they would all suffer a slow and painful near death experience. My birthday passed uneventfully that year.

The lot lizard at Saturn was a young buck who was convinced he was both clever and funny. He decided to prank us mechanics regularly, which we tolerated until he put grease under the drawer releases of our toolboxes. I then re-keyed his car during his bathroom break. Doors, trunk, ignition, all of them.

Then he escalated and put grease in the toes of our work boots. It was summertime; his sunroof was always open to vent a few inches. I collected enough styrofoam packing peanuts to fill the bed of my truck, crushed them down a bit to make smaller bits and filled his car to the roof while he was on lunch break.

We then shrink wrapped the car.

He got the point. No more shenanigans.

Don't fuck with four bored master techs.

Gahread wrote:Friday was... interesting. I brought one of my young soldiers to his sergeant promotion board after several weeks of intense studying. He did alright, managed to keep his cool MUCH better than most people can during the hour-long grilling session.

Then I escorted in two other troops for their own promotion boards, since their respective sergeants were unavailable. They too managed to deliver a satisfactory performance under extreme stress, but realized they could have done better if they hadn't gotten nervous (which is the whole point).

After three hours of that, we all got called back into the conference room, where the sergeant major and all the senior NCOs spent ten minutes describing how all of them had apparently wasted their evenings and weekends for the past month, because nobody came in acting like they actually wanted to be promoted today. Since none of the attendees cared, they could come back when they actually gave a damn, board adjourned.

Three shellshocked soldiers came to attention and prepared to depart, when the sergeant major asked what day it was.

Sonsabitches.

nice.

stiles wrote:

thrasherbill wrote:

rolly wrote:Reporting it to the police? Jail? I would set you on fire.

I used to work in a warehouse where some of the guys thought it was funny to plastic wrap your car on your birthday. At the time I was driving my old show Bug with a $16,000 paint job on it. I told them if they so much as breathed on my car they would all suffer a slow and painful near death experience. My birthday passed uneventfully that year.

The lot lizard at Saturn was a young buck who was convinced he was both clever and funny. He decided to prank us mechanics regularly, which we tolerated until he put grease under the drawer releases of our toolboxes. I then re-keyed his car during his bathroom break. Doors, trunk, ignition, all of them.

Then he escalated and put grease in the toes of our work boots. It was summertime; his sunroof was always open to vent a few inches. I collected enough styrofoam packing peanuts to fill the bed of my truck, crushed them down a bit to make smaller bits and filled his car to the roof while he was on lunch break.

We then shrink wrapped the car.

He got the point. No more shenanigans.

Don't fuck with four bored master techs.

isn't a "lot lizard" a name truckers use for prostitutes?

tumbler wrote:
isn't a "lot lizard" a name truckers use for prostitutes?

Apparently they have them at Saturn dealerships, also. Correction, "HAD".