UTMC

So, on my street are a couple of pretty serious speed bumps, people bottom out on them all the time.
Today I found in the road, right near one of them, a small Pelican type case with a ginormous magnet attached, alongside a battery and some kind of electronic device. The battery serial number has been blacked out, and the device itself has no markings on it at all. In the device however is a SIM card, with the name Oberthur on it.
I called Oberthur, and they said they just make the cards and have no idea what they might be used for. (wink-wink)

The battery still ha a charge on it.
What should I do with this thing?
a) Give it to the cops, see what they think?
b) Stick it on the vehicle of someone I don't like?
c) Mail the thing to Tierra Del Fuego?
d)... open to suggestions...

Option "b)" may be tricky because I kinda want to keep the awesome little Pelican case.

I'll post pics if you guys are interested.

Definitely post pics.

The case measures 5"x 3 1/2" about the size of a wallet. (see wallet in picture. The battery slipped into the unit accidentally when I brought it in the house, and some lights started blinking, so I took the battery out immediately. Don't need any CIA spooks knocking on my door.
I might be able to make out the numbers on the battery. I'm pretty sure that won't tell me anything, but why did someone bother to black it out?

Nice, stick it on a cop car!

piccini9 wrote:but why did someone bother to black it out?

If it isn't gubmint, it might be private. Somebody snooping on a cheating spouse, industrial espionage, insurance investigation, any sort of thing. In other words, somebody bugged a car without the legal right to do so, or at least suspecting it might be illegal, or just not having any desire to have that thing tracked back to them.
Heck, could be drug dealers, the mob, any sort of unsavoury character trying to work out a movement profile of someone they dislike.
Or could be some company monitoring wether employee X is really clocking up the miles he puts on his expense report.
If it's private, chances are whoever used it will just swallow the loss. No legal recourse in illegal activities, is there.
If it's gubmint, they obviously don't want anyone to know it actually is gubmint, but if they find you, they might still give you grief...you could be an accomplice, for all they know you removed the device from the target car on purpose.
"The defendant claims that this high-tech equipment somehow detached itself due to the car going over a speed bump, and he just happened to find it by the side of the road. Not only does this statement form agent whatshisname show that this would be highly unlikely, as he has many years of experience in mounting these trackers of suspect cars, but also, if he found it at the side of the road, how does the defendant happen to know the means by which the tracker was removed from the car? Members of the jury, it is obvious that he removed the tracker himself, and the only possible motive for this can be that he was paid to do so by dread crack-cocaine-terrorist Muhammed Babykiller, who remains at large because of the defendant!"

All kidding aside, I'd turn it in and avoid the possible aggro.

Hey! Don't be slagging my boy Mohammed Babykiller, me and Momo go way back.

To whom should I "turn it in?" Local cops? State? Call the Feds?
I don't even like James Bond movies, but this shit is really interesting to me.

call me

Sherrif. The sherrifs have different legal authorities than the feds and everyone else. If they get it, they'll be asking questions of whom it belongs to and why it was found in their county.

Otherwise, hack it or give it to some fishermen.

Stick it in a tree nearby and turn it back on, then wait to see who comes looking.

Slap it on the next Westboro Baptist Church van that rolls through.

(you can atttract them by organizing a gay veteran parade. I'll send a donation for the cause. Git on it)

Zer0 wrote:Slap it on the next Westboro Baptist Church van that rolls through.

(you can atttract them by organizing a gay veteran parade. I'll send a donation for the cause. Git on it)

They were supposed to come here last year, but they realized there was no safe place to stand and protest so they bagged out.
Pussies.

piccini9 wrote:The case measures 5"x 3 1/2" about the size of a wallet. (see wallet in picture. The battery slipped into the unit accidentally when I brought it in the house, and some lights started blinking, so I took the battery out immediately. Don't need any CIA spooks knocking on my door.
I might be able to make out the numbers on the battery. I'm pretty sure that won't tell me anything, but why did someone bother to black it out?

My mistake.
Turns out it was not a tracking device at all, but a tuna melt on whole wheat with tomato.
Yummy.

Duh. I thought you already knew that. That's why I suggested the WBC -- because the tuna was probably dolphin-safe, and we all know dolphins are gay, so the WBC would flip when they saw a gay-dolphin safe tuna melt slapped on their armegeddon assault vehicle.



By the way, that's one damn good looking sandwitch

piccini9,

PM me with pics of this please...

Bestguess wrote:piccini9,

PM me with pics of this please...

Better yet, just send him the sandwitch

E-bay it.

Sisyphus wrote:E-bay it.

The sandwich?

I love you guys.

I vote that you go to the local branch of the dept of homeland security and turn in tuna melt sandwich in a box. Tell them that you found it on the street and you don't want any part of whatever legal or illegal activities it could be involved in. Then leave before they can get your name or any information about you.

If for some reason you then end up with G-men showing up at the door you can say "Oh no, I thought my dog ate that sandwich... but that means...". The feds will then want to bring your dog in as "evidence", but you'll have none of that! After a long standoff, you'll escape out the back with your dog, hopping on your bike (you should probably start saving for a sidecar now) and lead them on a long chase that goes on for ten years. You're faster, smarter and cooler than the cops, but somehow they can track your every move. Your life is a high stakes dash from one small middle-america town to the next. You and Cocheese (that's your dog's name, if it isn't, take care of that asap) do your best to help out the good people you meet, but never for too long, because the man is hot on your trail! Every time you stop somewhere, you'll try and order a tuna melt. Between the small New Mexico town where you have to help fend off an alien invasion, to the sleepy Michigan village where the local sheriff outlawed sandwiches, you manage to only have enough luck to get business done and get out before the G-Men catch up.

You'll be known as The Riding Picinnis, or Cocheese and the Big Tuna, or The Man With The Golden Sandwich.

piccini9 wrote:I love you guys.

I love sandwiches.

Ok,
I'll take the sandwich and the blinky light thingy.
You keep the case....

Bestguess wrote:Ok,
I'll take the sandwich and the blinky light thingy.
You keep the case....

Deal.

So what's the deal? What'd you do with it?

Oh he has to have eaten that thing by now.

Turns out it's not as cool as I thought it was. No black Ops, no spooks, just package delivery tracking, or similar.
I may plug it in and mail it to one of you miscreants.

Does this mean I have to call Lorenzo Lamas back and tell him the gig is off?

Beemer Dan wrote:Does this mean I have to call Lorenzo Lamas back and tell him the gig is off?

Wait, you wanted to cast Lorenzo in your little "man and his dog" show?
He doesn't nearly have the depth of character to carry a dog.
That's a Joshua Jackson part, if anything. Or John Simm, if you want to go older, and more British.

piccini9 wrote:Turns out it's not as cool as I thought it was. No black Ops, no spooks, just package delivery tracking, or similar.

Get rid of it.

But BuestGuess is still getting the sandwich...right?

Came here looking for something else...


I love Dabney Coleman.