UTMC

I know this topic has come up here before, but more as a serious question about where all our fellow Ootmiks line up in the employment game.
In this case I'm soliciting ideas for an answer to this question. Bon Vivant/Ne'er Do Well/Carpenter/House Painter/Sculptor/Easel Painter/ Handyman/Street Corner Preacher, just doesn't come trippingly off the tongue.

Recently, I've told people that I'm an Astrophysicist, and also a Hedge Fund MAnager. Sometimes I want to just say, "Me? Oh, mostly I just mind my own business, how about you?" or, "I can't talk about my work, WHAT DO YOU DO?"

Sometimes it's just polite small talk I know, but sometimes it just feels like prying, annoying, maneouvering, and it pisses me off.

Any suggestions?

VP for broadcast standards & practices for the Dumont Network.

PR rep for the National Lawn-Darts League.

Combat Accountant for a private military contractor.

Viking funeral-home pyrotechnician.

Or:
"Haha, very funny, as if you don't know. You're with the Post? The Times? You can tell your editor you'll get nothing out of me! And neither will congress!"

Lately my answer is "I pick things up, and put things down," sometimes in a caveman voice.

Yeah, I don't usually like to answer that question, so I generally blurt out whatever pops into my head...... "Head Fig Newton Inspector for Nabisco", "Official Mirth Maker for Dean Witter", "Soup Spoon Deglazer for Campbell's", "Travelling Toilet Installer"....


I don't like to be judged by my occupation

Shade Tree Mad Scientist

"international playboy, but lately ... with the state of the economy ..."

" discussing what i do is a violation of my contract"...

I just tell people that I'm their mother's pimp.

"Me? Oh, I subvert the minds of America's youths."
"My attorney has advised me not to discuss this until after we get the charges dismissed."
"Unless you know the safeword, my mistress has told me not to tell anyone."
"I work in the translation department for SETI."
"Me? Oh, I'm a freelance proctologist. Is there something I could give you a hand with?" (Bonus points if you can say the second part while snapping on a latex glove.)
"I'm sorry. The Voices said you can't be trusted with that."
"Technomage."

Styrofoamologist.

Nothing.

Cat juggler

Rench wrote: but asking about profession is uncouth.

Correct

As I believe it should be here

As little as possible.

Whatever I feel like.

Usually when I try and explain what I do, it's even more confusing to people than making something up.

I'm a pet psychiatrist.

I sell couch insurance.

I test market positive thinking.

I lead a weekend men's group, we specialize in ritual killings.

/RM

Sisyphus wrote:Styrofoamologist.

I usually don't tell people because they wouldn't understand anyway and I hate explaining myself for the sake of small talk. It's a waste of time and they don't really care. If pressed I'll say, "I work on boats." And let them fill in the blanks.

"Are you writing a fucking book?"
"Underway torpedo tech"
"Inflight missle tech"
"You know the guy in that movie that does really cool stuff? yeah not that"
"Fuck you"
"Eat my ass"
"What"
"What do you do"

and several other responses that would offend our multitude of screaming libs on the board.... especially the cat lovers....

for a living: I ride motorcycles, read, drink beer, eat good food, eat bad food, play guitar, have fun whenever I can.

What's cutting all this short is my job as a janitor. I am employed to clean up people's messy fuck ups.

I'm a Professional Bullshit Artist and Cat Herder.

--Jaeger

I spend the majority of my waking hours at work. It doesn't define who I am, but it is a huge part of my life. People are welcome to ask.

I sometimes ask people what they do for a living, because I find it interesting. I don't care if its blue collar, white collar, creative, technical, mind numbing or whatever. I have a lot of respect for all kinds of work and am happy to hear about it (if I'm interested in getting to know that person). If the person isn't interested in talking about it, I move on.

If people judge others based on what they do for a living, they are probably already judging you based on your attire, the color of your skin, and any number of things. And frankly, that's unavoidable and fine. If somebody doesn't respect me or find me interesting because of my job, then I could give a shit.

What do I do for a living? I am a Functional Analyst and work in software development for a large digital media company.

I've been a technical manager, receptionist, bartender, bouncer, bank teller, pump jockey (back when full service gasoline existed), contracts administrator, and just unemployed. I've never minded when people ask, but I haven't always like the way they treated my response.

Usually I find that, when people are asking the question "What do you do for a living?" they usually just phrase it as "What do you do?"
When asked "What do you do?" I always list hobbies and passions.

I ask people "What do you do?" all of the time. They always tell me what their job is and unless it's something that seems really passionate to them, I always correct them and say "Yeah, but what do you DO? What do you do that makes you who you are?"

I try to plant little mental seeds like that whenever I can.

Fuck off.

I've discovered that people stop asking you questions, and actually they stop speaking to you and generally run away, when they begin asking you questions you don't want to answer and you start emitting a very loud high pitched, "BeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeP!!!;

If necessary, stop to take a breath. If they begin talking again, start making the noise again.

what do i do? i spend my evenings driving around trying to run over every snake i see in the road.

Jonny wrote:Aparently I'm in the olive oil business.

YAY!
congratulations!

This month, Imma mechanic.

bon vivant and avid nudist, thanks for asking!