UTMC

Seriously. No shit.

--Jaeger

Now, this is interesting.
My first thought was "Heck, the jackasses will just talk louder." but then I started really thinking. Talking louder would be of no avail.
So there will be two kinds of people: Those who don't get it, just talk louder when this is used on them and those that do get it (not necessarily the technology, but they get why it's used on them).
They would whisper, so as not to get noticed be Zer0 and his gun.
As it is when you work hard at certain behavior, you start doing it when it's not necessary. The louder talking ones, let's call them yellers, would get used to yelling even without a silent gun being used on them just to make sure that everybody hears their viewpoint before the gun is used on them, hence will alway yell. The whisperers will always whisper since they must stick to is always to not make the mistake of talking normally when a silent-gun wielder is present.
So, you get a lot of stupid jackasses talking loudly wherever and whenever, just out of principle. How dare you criticize them for that! What are you, a slient-gun wielding dictator??
And then those who'll whisper. Like, all the time.
Overall, I think things would get quieter with most asshats getting the point and whispering. Only to be interrupted by the stupid asshats shouting loudly to make damn sure they get heard, which is their darn right, they'll insist.
They will, of course, stand out like sore thumbs and be doubly annoying. But things will get interesting when they are in the same room with the clever asshats. One conversation as quietly done as humanly possible, the other the exact opposite.
Things will get really interesting when one of the first type has a conversation with one of the second type.
The whisperer will, at some point, try to explain that yelling is pointless and whispering is the true path, which the yeller won't be able to hear. Eventually, exasperated, the whisperer will yell the facts at the yeller only to be accused of telling untruths, after all, he is yelling himself, and how dare he yell, does he think the yeller is stupid or something.
Since the people in question won't exactly be the "Oh, fuck it, I don't need this noise." type but assertive about their rights to yell or their superior wisdom of whispering, this would be the point that knifes are drawn, shortly to be followed by blood and anguished final breaths.
Henceforth, the world will be a much more peaceful place.

Now if only we can get that gun to stifle the people thrusting their knives along with messing with their speech. Lunge, hesitate, lunge, wtf? (echo wtf) another wtf, lunge, while the other one does the same, both lunging then wtfing. Comedy I appprove of.

Zer0 wrote:Now if only we can get that gun to stifle the people thrusting their knives along with messing with their speech. Lunge, hesitate, lunge, wtf? (echo wtf) another wtf, lunge, while the other one does the same, both lunging then wtfing. Comedy I appprove of.

Well, I remember reading about a device that uses flashing light to basically make healthy people experience a mild epileptic fit, then there's the blinding laser of course, but that is permanent and hence evil. Now, what would be really useful would be if someone could figure out how to generate the brown note. I know Mythbusters busted that one (at least I think that's how that one came out), but... weaponized poo, the dream...
Lunge, hesitate, lunge, Mama, I pooped ma pants!!
Would be just as effective at stopping knife fights I think.

I can just about imagine the over-paranoid lefties I know, you know the type, "Take the battery out of your cellphone when you talk to me!", gearing up for protest marches with adult-diapers.
Oh, I'd just love to see that.
Especially the anti-Germans, they are so full of themselves, they deserve to fear making something else full of themselves.

DerGolgo wrote: Now, what would be really useful would be if someone could figure out how to generate the brown note. I know Mythbusters busted that one (at least I think that's how that one came out), but... weaponized poo, the dream...
Lunge, hesitate, lunge, Mama, I pooped ma pants!!
Would be just as effective at stopping knife fights I think.

It's fictional, but we can dream....

Wiki wrote:Spider's weapon of choice for most of the series is a handheld "bowel disruptor," which causes instant and painful loss of bowel control, with various settings that allow him to vary the level of pain and discomfort the device will inflict, ranging from simple diarrhea to complete rectal prolapse. At a much harsher level, the victim has a bowel movement so dramatic and agonizing that it induces unconsciousness. While at least three times in the series, it is revealed through dialogue that the gun can be set to 'Fatal Intestinal Maelstrom'. Spider prefers this weapon because, despite being illegal, it is (usually) non-lethal and its effects are untraceable. His assistants, Channon and Yelena, have also been armed with bowel disruptors during The Cure arc.

(The comic is "Transmetropolitan" by Warren Ellis, and I highly recommend it if you like that sort of thing. )

--Jaeger

Transmetropolitan is totally my favorite comic in ever, I cannot even think of anything that compares.
The fact that I didn't think of that immediately has me greatly distressed.

Please speak into my lapel pin...

<---googles rectal prolapse, faints.

piccini9 wrote:Please speak into my lapel pin...

This. I want one I can conceal on my person without anyone knowing. Hell, I'd even be willing to wear a big gay rodeo belt buckle if need be.

calamari kid wrote:<---googles rectal prolapse, faints.

piccini9 wrote:Please speak into my lapel pin...

This. I want one I can conceal on my person without anyone knowing. Hell, I'd even be willing to wear a big gay rodeo belt buckle if need be.

You want a rectal prolapse you can conceal on your person, inside a big gay rodeo belt buckle so you can talk into it???

xtian wrote:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_bomb

That may have been the single best piece of classified information ever released. Thanks for reminding me of that.

DerGolgo wrote:You want a rectal prolapse you can conceal on your person, inside a big gay rodeo belt buckle so you can talk into it???

UTMC, baby!

The Silence Gun and the Bowel Disruptor are terrifying weapons, but they could be easily defeated.

I don't see how this would work on a crowd. With an entire crowd speaking (say, in the event of a protest) wouldn't your individual voice get lost, and thus you'd be less susceptible to having your auditory senses disrupted by this device. Just a thought.

Zim wrote:The Silence Gun and the Bowel Disruptor are terrifying weapons, but they could be easily defeated.

If you're wearing a butt plug around all day every day I'm pretty sure you've already lost. Unless it's recreational of course...

/RM

DerGolgo wrote:

calamari kid wrote:<---googles rectal prolapse, faints.

piccini9 wrote:Please speak into my lapel pin...

This. I want one I can conceal on my person without anyone knowing. Hell, I'd even be willing to wear a big gay rodeo belt buckle if need be.

You want a rectal prolapse you can conceal on your person, inside a big gay rodeo belt buckle so you can talk into it???

Doesn't everybody?

Edit: Two turn tables and a rectal prolapse microphone belt buckle.

This is the dream of toddler's parents everywhere. Now, rather than ponder the use of the 1911 on the boy, I can just shut him up. If you remember my earlier post about canceling him with headphones, he's taken to sneaking up behind deafened dad and ripping them out violently. while I applaud his diligence and enthusiasm, my bleeding ears are an incitement to violence.

calamari kid wrote:\
Edit: Two turn tables and a rectal prolapse microphone belt buckle.

Sweet Buddha's Balls, I have never seen a thread go this far afield in under 20 posts.

Well done, people, well done.

I still want a STFU gun.

--Jaeger

roadmissile wrote:
If you're wearing a butt plug around all day every day, the terrorists won

/RM

I want a stickers factory of my own.

coffee out nose

thanks, fuckers

xtian wrote:If you're wearing a butt plug around all day every day, the terrorists won

That's not the kind of win we're after. We're here to unplug the masses. (At least when we're not plugged into the internet)

Zer0 wrote:

xtian wrote:If you're wearing a butt plug around all day every day, the terrorists won

That's not the kind of win we're after. We're here to unplug the masses. (At least when we're not plugged into the internet)

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/tYaki2ZvhSE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

--Jaeger

Zer0 wrote:

xtian wrote:If you're wearing a butt plug around all day every day, the terrorists won

That's not the kind of win we're after. We're here to unplug the masses. (At least when we're not plugged into the internet)

Now I have a disturbing mental image of you "unplugging" people like that...

DerGolgo wrote:

Zer0 wrote:

xtian wrote:If you're wearing a butt plug around all day every day, the terrorists won

That's not the kind of win we're after. We're here to unplug the masses. (At least when we're not plugged into the internet)

Now I have a disturbing mental image of you "unplugging" people like that...

I'll see your mental image and raise you the noise...

<object width="560" height="315"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZG3KB_V00FI?ve ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZG3KB_V00FI?ve ... &start=151" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="560" height="315" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

/RM

You know, that particular noise, openly performed, was pretty much the soundtrack of late 80s, early 90s children's tv shows over here. At least I recall hearing it a lot and seeing people on tv doing it a lot, around that time. Disturbing mental image/childhood TV memories mashing up in a disconcerting manner now...

Also, I was very down as a kid because I could never figure out how to make that sound and the other kids that could do it made me envious and would taunt me.

It sounds better when you lick your lips.

Finally I think we managed to demonstrate the real need of a shut up gun on the market.

Sisyphus wrote:coffee out nose

thanks, fuckers

Coffee liqueur out the nose. Tears & weird stares from family. men in white coats on the way.

Thanks. THIS is why I come here. Kin.

<a href="http://s147.photobucket.com/albums/r295 ... f_stfu.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r295 ... f_stfu.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>