UTMC

I put an ad with the idea to sell my ZL because I really have no time to take care of it and it hurts to see it stand in the garage. Of course the first two replies were scams... Note that all those belgian are writing in english but it can happens as we never know if the other guy is french or flemish speaking.

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- from peter
Hi, i will like to know if the machine/bike is for sale, the present condition and the final asking price for it.
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- from xtian
Hi, the bike is (blah blah blah about the bike)

You can find pictures of the bike taken a couple of weeks ago here
http://blah blah blah

and a video with running engine here
http://blah blah blah

It is not necessary to ask me for more informations or picture if your next move is a nice story about a transporter taking it to you in jamaïca and a big check and the usual internet bullshit, the bike has to be paid cash or by bank, any illegal money retrieving attempt will be reported, thank you already for your comprehension.
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- From Peter
Thanks for the mail, i am buying this for my use,i am a petroleum engineer currently on a rig offshore i really want this to be a surprise gift for my Brother so i wont let him know anything about this until it gets delivered to him , i am sure he will be more than happy with it.I can only pay with PayPal here, i will need you to give me your PayPal email address so i can make the payments asap and please if you don't have PayPal account yet, it is very easy to setup, go to www.paypal.com and get it set up , after you have set it up i will only need the e-mail address you use for registration with PayPal so as to put the money through.The advert price is okay with me:Pick up agent will come for the pick up as soon as i have made the payments, i would have loved to talk to you on phone but i am a petroleum engineer I work mainly offshore, our phone is down on the rig right now due to bad weather, we can only communicate with our base for now.

Thanks
Peter
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- From xtian
oh great, then you must know my friend Tim, he's an offshore engineer too and he wrote me about this bike last week too.
My paypal adress is gofuckyourself@pieceofshit.be
But I'm afraid your brother doesn't have balls big enough for this bike.
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- from Peter
Thanks for replying, which oil rig is your friend Tim on,maybe i can get in touch with him for you, it wont be easy but if i can talk with base when the weather is clearer then am sure i can pass any information you want across might take days but he will get it.

I got an email from my agent. he said he won't come and pick up unless i pay him the agent commission fee first in order to be able to schedule a pick up time ,and my pick up agent head quarters is in Surrey,UK and all commission payments made for pick up, from anywhere in the world is sent to their head quarters in United Kingdom and the only form of payments they accept is western union money transfer and i tried to pay online but i will need a credit card which i didn't bring along and there is no western union agent offshore! so i have to ask you to help me with the pick up fees, i will include the 480 Euro they charge to pick it up and take it home for me(1st class treatment), to the payments i will send through paypal. After i have made the payments and it has been confirmed by paypal, i will need you to help me send the 480 euro to my pick up agent through western union money transfer, the western union money transfer can be made at a post office near to you,there is always a western union agent in most post offices or online at www.westernunion.com . I will be making the payments for 1510 euro , 50 euro for the western union transfer and will email you as soon as it has been done..

Here is the Name and address of my pickup agent:
Name: JOHN BRADFORD
Address: 71 Brinklay Road,
Worcester Park
Surrey.
KT48JE
United Kingdom.
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what should I do next ?

Mail a frozen fish to the address listed.

Pull a reverse scam and say you'll deliver the bike yourself. Have his man meet you (supposedly) at some given location but keep moving the location around.
Pretend you got lost, etc, tell him you'll be late, then make up all sorts of things to keep them moving around, waste their time. You could keep it up for days! Weeks, even, if you have the patience and cunning.

nice suggestions. I was thinking about giving him the number of my credit card and password so that he could do the payment himself.

First thing you should do is post this on an online forum for your friends to chuckle over...ok, I see you already did that.

I think baiting scammers is getting old. Princes of Nigeria and the like, sure, that can be fun (see here), but regular scammers like that one I'd just report to whichever service you used for advertising your sale so they are aware of him and think no further about it.

Also, someone should register pieceofshit.be, it sounds positively yoda-esque.

DerGolgo wrote: Also, someone should register pieceofshit.be, it sounds positively yoda-esque.

I was thinkig the same thing, what an awesome domain name.

Anyway, go online and register for any and every banner ad you come across (maybe do this from a public library so you don't screw up your own computer) and register that name and address as "interested in your services". Doesn't matter what it is, just load him up with junk mail. I assume GB has junkmail flyers and mailers and garbage that plugs up the Royal Mail service just as it does here in the States.

Or just take the train over there and shit on his lawn in the middle of the night. Its kind of old school I know, think of it as the cafe racer of pranks!

+1 on the junk mail.

Tell him your agent needs EUR 50 as a "convenience fee" before you can send EUR 480.

MoraleHazard wrote:+1 on the junk mail.

Tell him your agent needs EUR 50 as a "convenience fee" before you can send EUR 480.

Careful, that might be attempted fraud there.

I already reported the whole conversation to the computer crime unit.
I can't believe the guy is stupid enough to post his real address but then again if he's stupid enough to buy the rest of the story...

DerGolgo wrote:

MoraleHazard wrote:+1 on the junk mail.

Tell him your agent needs EUR 50 as a "convenience fee" before you can send EUR 480.

Careful, that might be attempted fraud there.

I wouldn't worry about any allegations of fraud from a scammer - "unclean hands" is a defense to any civil action and engaging in correspondence in order to acquire more evidence is a valid defense to a criminal prosecution - even when you are not acting at the behest of the state (so long as you never actually benefit from the act) .

I still enjoy a good "walk around the block" with scam artists. If only to divert them from ripping off someone else. Sort of a public service. Anyway, hopefully someone does something about this idiot and makes some sort of an example out of him. sadly, i doubt anything will happen to him. Have fun . Sell him a Clamslammer 2000 from Priest.

goose wrote:Sell him a Clamslammer 2000 from Priest.

LOL, what the fuck is that? I'm not even sure I want to know...

Bigshankhank wrote: Or just take the train over there and shit on his lawn in the middle of the night. Its kind of old school I know, think of it as the cafe racer of pranks!

I like the way you think!

I sent him a google streetview picture of his house and

"Can you tell me which house it is ?
Maybe it would be safer and cheaper that I'd just stop bye his house next month and pay the deposit directly in person, I had a ride planned in the area with a triumph riders group. That is if he doesn't mine having 15 or 20 bikes passing in his street."

the guy is a real fast thinker

From peter

Its the first house on the right when approaching from the west. I am not sure he will like bikes stopping in front of his house as he is just my agent. And i really want that bike in my house as soon as possible because, it must catch my brother as a surprise and he might be jetting off to the US soon, so is it possible you make earlier maybe in less than 4days time, if not maybe we should go through with the PayPal and the agent can come pick it up himself then we wont have to wait that long.

Thanks
Peter

You forgot to ask for "Proof of Douche".

Write this:

Peter I have the perfect solution: I'll have your mom bring you the bike after I finish giving her more Belgian anal sexual pleasure.