UTMC

Phlegm-boarding, verb: when you wake up 4 hours and 15 minutes after your bedtime dose of 4 hour sudafed, literally drowning in your own mucus.

-Rench

(I Love my daughter, I hate her growing immunity)

I've just gotten over a head cold that had me consuming a whole box of kleenex per day.
For blowing my dripping nose, you gutterminded filthmongers!