DEAR SATAN...

[Jaeger]

I don't recall ever posting a more UTMC-appropriate Christmas link.

Enjoy.



--Jaeger

[Jaeger]

P.S.:



--Jaeger

[DerGolgo]

... but is it a typo if the letter is handwritten?

Also, I must protest about this judgemental portrait of the dark lord.
Sorry, of The Dark Lord.
The guy was a human rights activist, got kicked out of heaven for protesting how the psycho running the universe treated his subjects! There are differing backstories, of course, he got retconned a bunch of times. The devil is like a Marvel hero, that way.

But who sends folk to hell?
God.
What people get tortured in hell?
Sinners, who god figures deserve it.
So if nothing else, The Dark Lord is god's enforcer/prison director. Considering that, according to some traditions anyway, he got kicked into that job for protesting unjust and cruel treatment of mortals? Possibly prison director/social worker. I'd expect a lot of that torture is actually about rehabilitation. Attending tolerance seminars held by people in yoga pants and friendship bracelets is kinda torturous, and a few million years of that should be enough punishment for most sinners.

Besides. Hell is where all the good people go, isn't it.
People who won't smite no infidels. People who have crazy ideas like doing what a woman tells them (in the bible, women commanding men is a sin, Timothy 2:12). Men who love men, educators, scientists, the list is practically endless.

I'm sure, as the director of the universe's greatest melting pot of rational intellect, compassion, love, and decency, Satan in fact wouldn't get the girl a dog. Puppies are for live, not just for christmas! Not even hellhounds!

[red]

I don't recall ever posting a more UTMC-appropriate Christmas link.

Enjoy.



--Jaeger

I love that they got Patrick Stewart to narrate!

[Jaeger]

I'll need Xtian (or someone who speaks French) to translate what I'm guessing is a stream of obscenities from old St. Nick here...

[media]https://youtu.be/muAPJiMho2Y[/media]

And if that doesn't put a smile on your face I don't know what will.

(Courtesy of MO.com.)

--Jaeger

[xtian]

I'll need Xtian (or someone who speaks French) to translate what I'm guessing is a stream of obscenities from old St. Nick here...

--Jaeger

"putain ! oh putian !! putainputainputain ! monsieur ! monsieur, oh putain ! putain !"

[Jaeger]

I'll need Xtian (or someone who speaks French) to translate what I'm guessing is a stream of obscenities from old St. Nick here...

--Jaeger

"putain ! oh putian !! putainputainputain ! monsieur ! monsieur, oh putain ! putain !"

I was looking for a translation, not transcription, you whore.

Thanks, at least now I can spell it for Google.

Is that really the worst one can do in French? I was hoping for a bit more variety... scatological, sexual, perverse...? Or is our Santa just very mild?

--Jaeger

[xtian]

He's actually a fairly decent person, and quickly understand that he needs to calm her down .
putain replaces most expressions in paris, from "oh really?" "I know right" "good" "bad" "oops" to "where did I put my pencil" or "I didn't expect that" and "I did expect that".
And "prostitute" but since it's illegal now to pay for company, just use it for yes or no.

[DerGolgo]

And "prostitute" but since it's illegal now to pay for company, just use it for yes or no.

WAIT wait wait wait.
Over here, in the Grande Dominions and Potato of Fritzland, prostitution has become so legal, there's yelp/ebay knockoffs for that sort of thing. Loopholes even allow for brothels (pimping is still very illegal, of which I very much approve). The idea being that a) something that's outlawed can't be regulated or taxed, b) you can't outlaw it, that never works, c) outlawing it hurts women and encourages trafficking in children for these purposes, and probably about v) the state shouldn't tell adults whether or not they get to fuck one another, and w) the only people who get to decide whether it's okay for two adults to fuck is them two adults. Though I think incest is still illegal, the state generally doesn't belong in bedrooms. Or boudoirs, or backseats, or sex swings, etc.
Every now and again, the media gets all upset that poor families from poor countries east of the Weisswurst line send their daughters here to turn tricks and send money back. Apart from that, and old-fashioned street prostitution, trawling for johns on the sidewalk being restricted to dedicated parts of all major towns where no minors are allowed (police enforced) after certain times of the day, it's basically just another business.

And you're telling me THE FRENCH have outlawed it?! The French?!?!
France, Paris in particular, used to be where one could go in Europe to enjoy debauchery when places like Hamburg or the other harbor cities of the North were to crass, and the Riviera was too expensive (or out of season). That was the running joke in pop culture for decades and decades - stuff that got you arrested anywhere else in Europe, in Paris, the flics would probably give you pointers!

I mean, yeah. The city of love, Paris, totally, romance isn't something you pay for (or, at least, gotta pay extra for). But what is the world coming to when prostitutes have to go all undercover and illegal and shit ... in Paris?!

[red]

And "prostitute" but since it's illegal now to pay for company, just use it for yes or no.

WAIT wait wait wait.
Over here, in the Grande Dominions and Potato of Fritzland, prostitution has become so legal, there's yelp/ebay knockoffs for that sort of thing. Loopholes even allow for brothels (pimping is still very illegal, of which I very much approve). The idea being that a) something that's outlawed can't be regulated or taxed, b) you can't outlaw it, that never works, c) outlawing it hurts women and encourages trafficking in children for these purposes, and probably about v) the state shouldn't tell adults whether or not they get to fuck one another, and w) the only people who get to decide whether it's okay for two adults to fuck is them two adults. Though I think incest is still illegal, the state generally doesn't belong in bedrooms. Or boudoirs, or backseats, or sex swings, etc.
Every now and again, the media gets all upset that poor families from poor countries east of the Weisswurst line send their daughters here to turn tricks and send money back. Apart from that, and old-fashioned street prostitution, trawling for johns on the sidewalk being restricted to dedicated parts of all major towns where no minors are allowed (police enforced) after certain times of the day, it's basically just another business.

And you're telling me THE FRENCH have outlawed it?! The French?!?!
France, Paris in particular, used to be where one could go in Europe to enjoy debauchery when places like Hamburg or the other harbor cities of the North were to crass, and the Riviera was too expensive (or out of season). That was the running joke in pop culture for decades and decades - stuff that got you arrested anywhere else in Europe, in Paris, the flics would probably give you pointers!

I mean, yeah. The city of love, Paris, totally, romance isn't something you pay for (or, at least, gotta pay extra for). But what is the world coming to when prostitutes have to go all undercover and illegal and shit ... in Paris?!

You two are really messing my preconceived idea of Europe.

[xtian]

I'm glad we managed to get this conversation back into the real Christmas spirit .
I am not an expert on the subject since ... I'm not french but for all I know it is still legal to be a prostitute, it's just not legal to use the service of said prostitute, this way it's the client that is legally prosecuted. So, yeah, there are still plenty of young ladies around (did I tell that story where I was riding alone on a hot day and exhausted and looking for a place to stop but every parking had a white van and a welcoming lady waiting for company so I just kept riding), you're just not supposed to enjoy their company. It's dangerous, absurd and hypocrite, but who are we to blame a country that makes a U turn back in time.

[DerGolgo]

for all I know it is still legal to be a prostitute, it's just not legal to use the service of said prostitute, this way it's the client that is legally prosecuted.

That sounds like what I believe they are also doing in Sweden.
Criminalizing the prostitutes is double plus bullshit and puts them at the mercy of the johns. Prosecuting the johns, meanwhile. That is also bullshit.
So a john engages the services of a prostitute. And finds that she is forced into the job against her will, is underage, has been trafficked, or is strung out on drugs by some pimp. Don't even think about blackmail (even an unmarried john may not want his employers or family to know he had to pay to get some).
Yeah, that john ain't gonna report any damn thing to the authorities.

Prostitution cannot be outlawed. For the past couple of thousands of years, ever since the Abrahamic religions got their whole "wooo, sex be evil!" kink going on, someone tried outlawing prostitution. Dunno about Asia, Africa, or pre-Columbian America. But in the cultures of the Abrahamic religions, at least two thousand years of trying to get rid of prostitution. And that shit never worked.
While criminalizing any part of it gives inhuman swine great business opportunities to traffic in human beings, enslave women, all of that shit.
When either party in acts of prostitution, the john or the prostitute, is criminalized, women occupy ALL the top spots of groups of people made vulnerable and condemned to suffering. So I cannot figure out, for the life of me, why ostensible womens-rights groups keep campaigning to outlaw prostitution.
How does it help the women who are at the mercy of pimps or brutal johns? How the fuck, as it were, is it ANY of the state's business to regulate why or why not two adults get busy?
Among the few things that enrage me more than humans being exploited and treated like chattel are the people who suggest that criminalizing anyone involved will somehow help the victims, that driving the whole activity under ground will make the bad shit stop.

The only way to get rid of scumbag pimps is to ensure neither prostitutes nor johns have to fear legal consequences for reporting said pimps to the cops.
The only way to curb human trafficking for prostitution is to ensure that neither the trafficked women, nor the johns, nor competing prostitutes will face legal consequences for reporting human trafficking cases when they encounter them.
The only way to ensure prostitutes aren't slapped around or ripped off by dirtbag johns is to make sure they can turn to the cops when that happens and don't have to expect punishment themselves.
The only way to ensure proceeds from prostitution don't fund other criminal activity, such as importation and distribution of meth or other bad shit like that is to get those proceeds legal and into the sights of the tax man.
If a john fucks an underage girl for money, lock the scumbag up. But the other john, the one who saw the underage girl but said "nopes". He isn't gonna go to the cops if he has to fear getting his own solicitation rap, or worse.

Actually, there should be rules to let anyone involved report any criminal shit anonymously, and so that they can give their testimony in court without the press being present or their name being published.

This just makes me really fucking angry. Sexual exploitation is among the most heinous shit out there. Supporting the perps by criminalizing them, moving them out of the public spotlight. That is fucking aiding and abetting child rape.