The Easter Thread!
Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 12:15 pm
Come saturday I wanna see mucho bunnies, capiche? Participate!
UTMC
Fighting the Gangster Frankenstein Earphone Radio Slavery Big Brother Conspiracy at all costs
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The Easter Thread!
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Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 12:32 pm
i'm going to burn in hell
Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 12:35 pm
Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 12:48 pm
To quote MnM "Ba-doing-doing-doing!"
I think we've finally stumbled on a marketing plan to get Football (soccer) popular in the states! Talk about a well trimmed pitch!
I think we've finally stumbled on a marketing plan to get Football (soccer) popular in the states! Talk about a well trimmed pitch!
Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 4:52 pm
did you not see the bunnies hiding on the briar patches?!BackDoorBarbie wrote:
ill give you that, but what does that shameless contribution have to do with easter?
Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 4:46 am
Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 5:39 am
A Donnie Darko shot, nice, real nice...
Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 6:25 am
Photo wrote:What Easter Bunny?
Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 3:16 pm
Ah...I love the smell of fresh roadkill in the morning. 
The Easter Bunny Is A Bastard
Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 3:49 pm
‘Twas the night before Easter and all through the house my room mates were passed out. I was lolling drunkenly on my couch after a night of college-kid hyjinx, minding my own goddamn business when there came a knock on the door. Laboriously I stood, peeved at being roused, and opened the front door. It was the Easter Bunny. White furry ears and pink button nose. Basket full of colored eggs and bushy cotton tail. Yeah, that’s the one. He brushed me aside and came into the living room. What the fuck?
“Yeah, seriously,” I said, “what the fuck?”
“I’m the Easter Bunny.”
“I don’t care if you’re fucking Lion-O, leader of the goddamn Thundercats. Get the fuck out of my house.” But he wouldn’t go.
“Don’t you believe in Jesus Christ?” Too drunk for theological repartee with mythical rodents.
“What the hell do lavishly-decorated, unfertilized chicken fetuses have to do with Jebus?”
“They help us to remember and rejoice in His rebirth and triumphant victory over Xur’s armada using the holy light of Death Blossom.”
“Alex Rogan defeated Xur’s armada, fucker. That was a movie.”
“Are you calling The Son of God a liar, fuck ass?”
“Sure. Whatever. Just take your cunt-fuck eggs and go…”
...And that’s when, with a Xena-like battle cry, the Easter Bunny lunged at me, eyes flashing pink with beastial fury. Not even my ninja training could protect me from his vicious Lop-Eared Bunny-Paw Technique. A right to the jaw. Left to the gut and knee to the groin. I hit the floor crying.
But I wasn’t going down easy. I did what long hours in the practical self defense class at the YWCA had taught me: screamed shrilly and curled into a ball.
The bunny laughed maliciously, over-joyed to see his foe topple so easily. Ah, but it was a ruse. As the beguiled bunny turned to distribute eggs about the room I rose and unleashed a can of whoop ass.
But the can was a bit stale: Screaming to disorient and confuse my target, I scratched and pulled hair and sissy slapped away. For a moment my unorthodox tactics prevailed. And then the Easter Bunny stopped laughing.
“Haven’t had enough, eh, heathen?” He smashed a pretty pink egg into my head. Blood all down my face. Can’t see. Fuck. Bunny moving like greased white lightning.
Before I know it, I’m down, laying in a pool of blood and shattered Easter eggs.
“Learn to stay down, bitch,” the bunny ground his heal into my hand. I could hear joints popping, bones snapping. Ha ha ha. He laughed at my tears, my pleas for help and then mercy.
Upending what remained in his wicker basket onto my battered body the Easter bunny uttered his parting words, “This shit wouldn’t happen if you would just let Jesus into your heart. Happy Easter, mother fucker.”
“Yeah, seriously,” I said, “what the fuck?”
“I’m the Easter Bunny.”
“I don’t care if you’re fucking Lion-O, leader of the goddamn Thundercats. Get the fuck out of my house.” But he wouldn’t go.
“Don’t you believe in Jesus Christ?” Too drunk for theological repartee with mythical rodents.
“What the hell do lavishly-decorated, unfertilized chicken fetuses have to do with Jebus?”
“They help us to remember and rejoice in His rebirth and triumphant victory over Xur’s armada using the holy light of Death Blossom.”
“Alex Rogan defeated Xur’s armada, fucker. That was a movie.”
“Are you calling The Son of God a liar, fuck ass?”
“Sure. Whatever. Just take your cunt-fuck eggs and go…”
...And that’s when, with a Xena-like battle cry, the Easter Bunny lunged at me, eyes flashing pink with beastial fury. Not even my ninja training could protect me from his vicious Lop-Eared Bunny-Paw Technique. A right to the jaw. Left to the gut and knee to the groin. I hit the floor crying.
But I wasn’t going down easy. I did what long hours in the practical self defense class at the YWCA had taught me: screamed shrilly and curled into a ball.
The bunny laughed maliciously, over-joyed to see his foe topple so easily. Ah, but it was a ruse. As the beguiled bunny turned to distribute eggs about the room I rose and unleashed a can of whoop ass.
But the can was a bit stale: Screaming to disorient and confuse my target, I scratched and pulled hair and sissy slapped away. For a moment my unorthodox tactics prevailed. And then the Easter Bunny stopped laughing.
“Haven’t had enough, eh, heathen?” He smashed a pretty pink egg into my head. Blood all down my face. Can’t see. Fuck. Bunny moving like greased white lightning.
Before I know it, I’m down, laying in a pool of blood and shattered Easter eggs.
“Learn to stay down, bitch,” the bunny ground his heal into my hand. I could hear joints popping, bones snapping. Ha ha ha. He laughed at my tears, my pleas for help and then mercy.
Upending what remained in his wicker basket onto my battered body the Easter bunny uttered his parting words, “This shit wouldn’t happen if you would just let Jesus into your heart. Happy Easter, mother fucker.”
Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 3:17 pm
Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 6:10 pm
Hey Muppet! What kept you? Welcome to Hell!
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks
>in the sweetest little lisp, "Excite me, mitther, do
>you keep widdle Wabbits?"
>
>As the shopkeeper's heart melts,. He gets down on his
>knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you
>want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack
>wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit
>over there?"
>
>She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her
>hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet
>voice, "I don't fink my pet pyfon weally gives a thit.
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks
>in the sweetest little lisp, "Excite me, mitther, do
>you keep widdle Wabbits?"
>
>As the shopkeeper's heart melts,. He gets down on his
>knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you
>want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack
>wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit
>over there?"
>
>She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her
>hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet
>voice, "I don't fink my pet pyfon weally gives a thit.
Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 9:02 pm
I'm surprised not one of the ladies posted the
Rabbit vibrator. What do you mean, there aren't any women in here? The rabbit died? What the heck does that mean?
Rabbit vibrator. What do you mean, there aren't any women in here? The rabbit died? What the heck does that mean?
Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 10:02 am
I suddenly feel very ill equipped for some reason...........
That thing looks terrifying! I've seen torture implements that were less intimidating! One wrong move and you'd have some serious explaining to do at the ER!
That thing looks terrifying! I've seen torture implements that were less intimidating! One wrong move and you'd have some serious explaining to do at the ER!
Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 11:00 am
Otaku provide their version of the Easter Bunny. 
The newest paint-by-numbers project.
Young Bobby enters a new phase of his life as he first contemplates getting a little tail.