UTMC

Ok met a girl wendsday, danced, snogged we both went home alone but she got my number. Sent me a TXT on friday, we sent a few back and forth and I said that seeing her again would be good.

Today... sent her a txt, she calls me back. we chatted for a while, got to know each other a bit better. she has a kid, I didnt ask for details but...

Now Ive never dealt with this before. It seems like trouble to me but i dunno, Ive always thought that this stuff wouldnt bother me but when faced with it its a tad daunting.

Has anyone dealt with this before and can you offer any advice?

Man, this is a tough situation to be in. The thing you have to realize is you're going to be getting into a relationship with her and her kid. Whenever you're dealing with her the kid is going to be part of the equation as well. If you get into this, remember there's a third party that will always (hopefully) be her first priority. It's a tough situation, perhaps the best thing you can do is spend some time with her and her child together and decide if you are comfortable with both of them with you. Good luck.

having been in a relationship with a Mom...be careful of her child. Don't fear the child but RESPECT them at all costs. In my opinion, if Mom wants you to meet her kid right away, be cautious and careful. Children are fragile emotionally and alot of what we take for granted will be that childs first time. Kids get really attached, really fast. If you like Mom but don't know how long or where its headed please wait to meet her child. Be on solid footing and the same page with Mom before meeting her child. You WILL be having a relationship with two people and you need to do your part to safegaurd the child. If not wanting to meet her child right away seems to bother her, let her know YOU are doing your part to keep her child emotionally secure. Look at it this way..Meeting her child is actually MORE important than meeting her parents. Actually, fuck worring about meeting the parents, be thoughtful and considerate in how and when you meet her child. For better or worse, that kid WILL remember you for a long time after you and Mom have parted ways. And should you fight with Mom in front of Kid it's going to adversly affect them both.
Meet the Kid when you are ready and be prepared for a little buddy. Its one of the best things ever. But you need to be prepared to hang with and deal with a child. If it comes down to it, do alot of things with Kid and Mom and a few, pre-approved, things with Kiddo. If you go into this with an open mind and an open heart you'll make the minimum of mistakes.

for all that, have fun. And remember! Single Moms have even MORE of a reason to go out and have some Adult time. Enjoy yourself and learn from this, you'll be glad (maybe in the long run) that you did...If any of this seems not what you can do at this time in your life, step away. It would better for all three of you and does not imply failure on your part. Some people just aren't up for it..


OH! almost forgot the Most Important Thing...Do not, under any circumstance, make Mom choose between you and her Child.