Anyone else ever feel this way.

spidergirl1nonly · Post by **spidergirl1nonly** » Thu Nov 04, 2004 8:06 am

Lately I have been having the feeling that I should just dump all of my current 'friends' and just make a whole new set of friends.
All or most of my 'friends' have not been that great of friends, except perhaps Vance and a few others..
Maybe it's a little self-serving but I need to have people in my life that give friendship just as much as they take it from me.
Lately, it seems like these 'friends' of mine are not giving as much as they are receiving.
My dad says that he doesn't stay friends with a person that doesn't benefit or enlighten his life in any way.
I have thought about that a lot these last few days and wondered how fulfilling it could possibly be to have a 'friendship' like that. It seems to me that most of my dad's friends have more of a business-like relationship with him.
I can understand the desire to have relationships such as these; you rarely are disappointed.
Isn't a true friendship, however, supposed to be an unconditional love type of thing? You know like a person you would gladly step in front of a bullet for? Or am I just old fashioned and naive to believe there are still friends out there like that? Or am I just associating with the wrong people?

Which is precisely why I was contemplating losing most of the 'friends' that I have. I am not certain that any of them would honestly sacrifice the same things for the friendship that I would.
Well, anyway. Any thoughts, anyone? And while you're at it; what is your definition of true friendship?

Ames · Post by **Ames** » Thu Nov 04, 2004 8:39 am

Step one: Stop calling people. Those who call and ask if you're o.k., or to see how you are because they haven't heard from you are worth keeping around. Those who call because they want something (like help moving) are the ones who need a re-evaluation.
Personally, I can vouch for Vance in a hot second. He's stood by me when I was at my lowest and worst. He's definately a good place to start.

spidergirl1nonly · Post by **spidergirl1nonly** » Thu Nov 04, 2004 9:08 am

Ames wrote: Personally, I can vouch for Vance in a hot second. He's stood by me when I was at my lowest and worst. He's definately a good place to start.

I agree copmpletely. I wasn't saying anything about him, in fact he has helped me out in many more ways than I could ever repay him for. He is one of the very few I am considering keeping in my phone book. As for the others, I am going to toss most the rest of them out. Out, out, out.

Well, thanks. I was thinking some where along those lines and now I know that I am on the right track.

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rhinoviper · Post by **rhinoviper** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 3:08 pm

spidergirl1nonly wrote:Lately I have been having the feeling that I should just dump all of my current 'friends' and just make a whole new set of friends.

I didn't even read the entire post before feeling compelled to respond. Sounds to me like you need new friends. Having done it once or twice myself, and having met someone who has taught me the true meaning of "friend" (I no longer refer to many people as "friend" because of the meaning it has to me), I highly recommend reevaluating what you want out of your friendships. Then, make the move. I vowed some time ago to surround myself with people whom, when I'm at the end of spending time with them, I think to myself, "That was time well spent." You will revel in the hapiness making such a transition will bring you.

What I can't say enough about is why I continue to spend my time (valuable as any on person's time should be) with most of the people I have met through channels like these. Yes, you know who you are (in no particular order and not all-inclusive - Bandit12, Beemer Pat, Mtne, midliferider, Beemer Dan, Goose, Dewey, Dr J, Tank, et. al.). Thank you for your friendship.

maniacles · Post by **maniacles** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 7:58 pm

The trick is to make as many new friends as possible. That way, the USERS just sort of fade away and you don't even notice they are gone. I know it's easier said than done, but do the things that make you happy, and if you notice some people doing the same, hang with them!

wyckedsin · Post by **wyckedsin** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 8:21 pm

As much as I found out who my friends where after my accident, they have become even better friends. Since that time I have met new friends. Some have stayed and some have left, and I don't mourn those that left. I know alot of people, but only a few of them are my friends. And they know that just as they would give me the shirt off their back I would do the same for them in a heartbeat.

Abadon357 · Post by **Abadon357** » Sat Nov 06, 2004 5:46 am

freinds do as much for you as you do for them ...(or more)...if some doesnt fit that criteria (sic???)then they are not friends