Damn women drivers

[Groove]

This morning on the Interstate,
I looked over to my left and there was a
Woman

In a brand new
Cadillac


Doing 65 mph


With her
Face up next to her

Rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away

For a couple seconds !


And when I looked back she was

Halfway over in my lane,


Still working on that makeup.


As a man,

I don't scare easily.
But she scared me so much;
I dropped

My electric shaver ,


Which knocked

The donut

Out of my other hand. !

In all
The confusion of trying
To straighten out the car


Using my knees against
The steering wheel,


It knocked

My Cell Phone


Away from my ear


Which fell


Into the coffee

Between my legs! ,


Splashed,


And burned


Big Jim and the Twins,


Ruined the damn phone,

Soaked my trousers,


And disconnected an
Important call.
Damn women drivers

[Moto_Myotis]

That is so sexist. How dare you post that here.

[Groove]

That is so sexist. How dare you post that here.

I think it portrays a humorous double-standard. Daring, I know.

[SomeMook]

That is so sexist. How dare you post that here.

I think it portrays a humorous double-standard. Daring, I know.

I'm surprised you've named your junk, "Big Jim and the Twins".

[Toonce(s)]

Typical male behavior, posting a joke that inverts and re-distributes a presumption of female sexist perspectives.

[ninemileskid]

I'm surprised you've named your junk, "Big Jim and the Twins".

Are you sure he was talking bout his junk and not actual people?

[Moto_Myotis]

That is so sexist. How dare you post that here.

I think it portrays a humorous double-standard. Daring, I know.

Humor? What is this thing of which you speak?

[Groove]

That is so sexist. How dare you post that here.

I think it portrays a humorous double-standard. Daring, I know.

Humor? What is this thing of which you speak?

You know, like a midget wearing a fez...humor.

[SomeMook]

That is so sexist. How dare you post that here.

I think it portrays a humorous double-standard. Daring, I know.

Humor? What is this thing of which you speak?

You know, like a midget wearing a fez...humor.

You're such a racist.

[rc26]

That is so sexist. How dare you post that here.

I think it portrays a humorous double-standard. Daring, I know.

Humor? What is this thing of which you speak?

You know, like a midget wearing a fez...humor.

You're such a racist.

With regards to midgets or fez?

[piccini9]

That is so sexist. How dare you post that here.

I think it portrays a humorous double-standard. Daring, I know.

Humor? What is this thing of which you speak?

You know, like a midget wearing a fez...humor.

You're such a racist.

With regards to midgets or fez?

Is anyone bringing a Fez to Elizabethtown tomorrow?

[Groove]

That is so sexist. How dare you post that here.

I think it portrays a humorous double-standard. Daring, I know.

Humor? What is this thing of which you speak?

You know, like a midget wearing a fez...humor.

You're such a racist.

With regards to midgets or fez?

Is anyone bringing a Fez to Elizabethtown tomorrow?

With Rock overseas, I'm thinking no. I could bring my Mexican wrestling mask if you'd like.

Please bring it!

[piccini9]

That is so sexist. How dare you post that here.

I think it portrays a humorous double-standard. Daring, I know.

Humor? What is this thing of which you speak?

You know, like a midget wearing a fez...humor.

You're such a racist.

With regards to midgets or fez?

Is anyone bringing a Fez to Elizabethtown tomorrow?

With Rock overseas, I'm thinking no. I could bring my Mexican wrestling mask if you'd like.

Please bring it!

Luchadors!

[Priest]

With Rock overseas, I'm thinking no. I could bring my Mexican wrestling mask if you'd like.

Why would you not bring that everywhere you go? When does one not need a Mexican wrestling mask?

[The Shifty Jesus]

With Rock overseas, I'm thinking no. I could bring my Mexican wrestling mask if you'd like.

Why would you not bring that everywhere you go? When does one not need a Mexican wrestling mask?

Ummm, never!

And FBR's cock helmet. Yeah that too.

[Metalredneck]

As someone named Jim, I am offended. It SHOULD be Oscar & the twins. Like; "She looks good enough to win an Oscar!"

[Vespalina]

I dropped My electric shaver ,

What offends me most about this is that you were HOLDING the electric shaver to begin with.

Personally, I would have thought you'd have found some fancy way to attach it to your combination Electric Shaver/GPS mount.

See, something like this (props to RevCBL for posting this elsewhere)- a simple, elegant design that can accept a multitude of different items attached to it:


Had you mounted your electric shaver, you wouldn't have dropped your cell phone or your donut. DUH!

[Metalredneck]

Hey, now! I represent that remark!

[Jonny]

That is so sexist. How dare you post that here.

I think it portrays a humorous double-standard. Daring, I know.

Humor? What is this thing of which you speak?

You know, like a midget wearing a fez...humor.

You're such a racist.

With regards to midgets or fez?

Is anyone bringing a Fez to Elizabethtown tomorrow?

With Rock overseas, I'm thinking no. I could bring my Mexican wrestling mask if you'd like.

Please bring it!

Luchadors!

Mmmmmmmm... sexy AND racy!



Oh wait, is my spelling right?

[Buttzilla]

What? Where's the girl giving a blowjob? Now I'm offended,too.

[Dobbs]

OH SHIT!!!

Here it goes again...