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A forum for the off topic stuff. Everything from religion to philosophy to sex to humor (see why it used to be called Buggery?). All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged.
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Ames
Megachiroptera Übermench
Location: Denver, CO in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!
Contact:

Because I know some of you are gamers

Post by Ames » Fri May 27, 2005 8:15 am

I found this over at BBspot.com and had to share it. Enjoy.
Bohemian RPG
By Francisco Rangel and Cam Boyes

(To the tune of " Bohemian Rhapsody " by Queen)

It's not the real life. It's just an RPG.
Caught in a dungeon. My escape from reality.

Open your guide, look up dwarven stats and see,
I'm just a fighter, magic is not for me
Because it's easy loot, easy gold, level high, level low
Any way the dice rolls really really matters to me, to me

Mama, just killed an orc. Swung my axe against his head
Rolled an 18, now he's dead.
Mama, I just rolled a one
My boots of speed won't let me run away
Mama, ooh, running low on my supplies
I'm running out of food and out of arrows
Gotta run, gotta fight, hope my sword and shield don't shatter

Too late, my dwarf is dumb
His wisdom's down the drain, his intelligence is lame
Got no constitution, charisma's null
Gotta run, but my dexterity's uncouth
Mama, ooh, I don't like this die
I sometimes wish I'd rolled a much better char

I see a little amulet-o on the ground
Is it cursed? Is it cursed? Where'd the rest of my clan go?
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very fright'ning me
Magic Missile (Magic Missile) Magic Missile (Magic Missile)
Magic Missile, Thunderbolt
I'd better go. I'm so alone now, monsters attack me
He's just a poor dwarf, playing this RPG.
Fighting alone with this monstrosity
Easy kill, easy blow, let my level grow
Experience! No, your level will not grow.
(Let it grow!) Experience! My growth rate is too slow.
(Let it grow!) Experience! I want to wield my bow.
(Wield your bow) Let my crystal glow.
(Let it glow) Land a crushing blow. (Crushing blow)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Oh, mama mia, mama mia) I can't fail this saving throw.
Beelzebub is a demon and he's after me, help me, HELP ME!

So you think you can beat me by rolling a five
You can't harm me, if you did, I'd just get revived.
Oh, slay me, no way that you can slay me
Just gotta take out, just gotta take out my new spear

Rolling really matters, dice are what you see
Rolling really matters,
Rolling really matters to me

Any way the game goes


Cheers,
Ames.
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you...stranger!
Quid Ita Serius?
You never know how much you appreciate your civil liberties until they've been violated.

Delphia
Magnum Jihad
Location: Australia - A wreched hive of scum and villany
Contact:

Post by Delphia » Mon May 30, 2005 7:33 pm

dear lord... geeks with too much time...

lol

im gonna send that to a D&D player I know.
*********************************
Archie is not fucking Mr Weatherby!
*********************************
1983 Kawasaki Gpz750 Streetfighter (In progress)

Beemer Dan
Dark Poohbah
Location: Oregon
Contact:

Post by Beemer Dan » Tue May 31, 2005 9:00 am

It's not that they have too much, time, more likely that the Everquest/World of Warcraft/etc servers were down for an hour :roll:

In a sick sort of way that is pretty damn funny :lol:
They swore it was the correct one, but swearing doesn't make a sprocket fit where it doesn't want to. --WeAintFoundShit

X tian

Post by X tian » Tue May 31, 2005 9:55 am

you know it's true what they say about gamer not having a sex life.

my girlfriend's gamer (a gameuse ?)

Delphia
Magnum Jihad
Location: Australia - A wreched hive of scum and villany
Contact:

Post by Delphia » Tue May 31, 2005 11:15 pm

X tian wrote:you know it's true what they say about gamer not having a sex life.

my girlfriend's gamer (a gameuse ?)
Gamette

I know a female gamer, she is sexy, smart, funny and can whup my ass at counterstrike. I asked her to marry me. she said no :(
*********************************
Archie is not fucking Mr Weatherby!
*********************************
1983 Kawasaki Gpz750 Streetfighter (In progress)

User avatar
xtian
Le coureur de lames chasse Tinti...
Location: belgium
Contact:

Post by xtian » Tue May 31, 2005 11:32 pm

Delphia wrote: Gamette

I know a female gamer, she is sexy, smart, funny and can whup my ass at counterstrike. I asked her to marry me. she said no :(
so you know my grlfriend?!!
I knew there was some other guy
I'm not really from around here.

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