How the fuck did I get into this already?
How many of you, guys or gals, had "The Talk" while at any stage of your nubility? I never did, at least not from my parents. My sister sat me down one day after school when I was 15 and gave me a woman's perspective on things, what to do and not to do/expect/ask for/call things and so forth. I like to joke and tell people that yes I am from Kentucky and yes, I learned about sex from my older sister. It helped me a lot actually. I can still remember the first time I did it, June 4th 1990. I was 16, she was 17, it sucked but neither of us knew what we were doing.
Anyway, my soon-to-be-adopted son is now 14, high school freshman, and has his first date ever lined up for this coming Friday. His older sister came over for dinner last night with her boyfriend, and my son called him out to the back room to ask him something. Poor guy needed a drink when he came back inside. Came to find out that my son asked the BF to buy him some condoms. Now there are several things to consider about that.
A: I am glad he knows enough to know to keep a rubber with him.
B: WTF is a 14 year old needing to conceal/carry on his first date?
C: Waaay too young.
D: Who is this strumpet he's about to go see a movie with?
E: Wait, they're going to a movie, where is he thinking this is going to happen?
F: Fuck I'll probably have to talk about drugs while I'm at it.
G: My wife and I can't stop laughing everytime we look at him now.
As proof that he's not quite as sharp as he thinks he is, he left the condoms in his pants pocket when he tossed his dirty laundry in the hamper. My wife found them this evening. Now she keeps laughing at me, like I'm supposed to know how to do this.
Lest anyone think I am being a prude, be it known that I am very open-minded about sexuality. Straight but not narrow is how I would describe myself, yet now I am in a position (which I admit I knew was coming soon) to try and teach another young man how to respect human sexuality. And how to jerk off with discretion. Wish me luck.
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"The Talk"
-
Bigshankhank
- Fully Autonomous Cock-Puncher
- Location: Exiled to Living in a Van Down By The River
- Contact:
"The Talk"
It's time for Humankind to ditch the imaginary friends of our species' childhood and grow the fuck up.
-Davros
"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"
Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness
Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.
-Davros
"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"
Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness
Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.
-
thack
- Magnum Jihad
dude. my oldest is 10. i dread this day.
we have talked about it. he knows how babies are made, where they come from, internals and externals. he knows mechanics.
he knows that if he gets a girl pregnant he will probably get grounded.
but i'm still not ready for this talk.
best of luck and let us know how it goes.
we have talked about it. he knows how babies are made, where they come from, internals and externals. he knows mechanics.
he knows that if he gets a girl pregnant he will probably get grounded.
but i'm still not ready for this talk.
best of luck and let us know how it goes.
-
piccini9
- Everybody dies. It's a love story.
Can't help you Hank. Sorry.
However, the mechanics is the easy part to explain, it's the interpersonal aspect of things that I wish someone, anyone, had said anything to me about.
Best of luck, this kid is lucky to have you.
P.S. the condoms in the laundry may have been a sub-concious request for a chat.
However, the mechanics is the easy part to explain, it's the interpersonal aspect of things that I wish someone, anyone, had said anything to me about.
Best of luck, this kid is lucky to have you.
P.S. the condoms in the laundry may have been a sub-concious request for a chat.
-
DerGolgo
- Zaphod's Zeitgeist
- Location: Potato
My parents never had "the talk" with me. I found out all about sex at about seven or eight when I asked my oldest sister, who was babysitting me at the time, what those "condoms" advertised in the mail order catalog (big one, like Sears) were for.
Her explanation was graphic and explicit and covered just about everything.
Only thing I ever asked my parents was what an orgasm is after I had herd the term in "Buddy Buddy" with Matthau and Lemon. My mother passed it on to my father and he weaseled out of it.
Her explanation was graphic and explicit and covered just about everything.
Only thing I ever asked my parents was what an orgasm is after I had herd the term in "Buddy Buddy" with Matthau and Lemon. My mother passed it on to my father and he weaseled out of it.
If there were absolutely anything to be afraid of, don't you think I would have worn pants?
I said I have a big stick.
I said I have a big stick.
-
Rench
- the Harm in Harmony
- Location: Chicago
- Contact:
My daughter is 18 momths old, and not only do I practice the Talk with her now, since she's too young to be scarred, I look forward to her bringing her first boyfriend home. the same way I look forward to true anarchy after the Zombie-pocalypse. 
I've not had to consider the Talk to a son yet, but in my mind, starting it by explaining the perspective of the girl's father might bring a little more focus to the table. ::shrug:: Just a thought.
I know why I got into guns, is all I'm saying...
-Rench
I've not had to consider the Talk to a son yet, but in my mind, starting it by explaining the perspective of the girl's father might bring a little more focus to the table. ::shrug:: Just a thought.
I know why I got into guns, is all I'm saying...
-Rench
"I'm not a schemer..."
"Do you know why it's illegal to put gasoline in a glass container?" - Piccinni
"Do you know why it's illegal to put gasoline in a glass container?" - Piccinni
-
SidVicious
- Barista of Doom
- Location: EM27ii
- Contact:
-
guitargeek
- Master Metric Necromancer
- Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
- Contact:
People are so squeamish about this subject!
My $.02...
I don't have kids (we should all be thankful for that), but I do have a couple of darling nieces. They're 15 and 18, both of them quite beautiful, and both orphans now living with their father's sister... whom they describe as "prudish", "repressed" and "loves Rush Limbaugh".
I sat them down and asked them if they had any questions about sex. Both of them looked a little uncomfortable, neither spoke up, so I quizzed them. Turns out they're both fairly well informed and only needed a few corrections. Kids these days seem, as a rule, pretty well informed, though there is still misinformation out there, propagated by popular culture and other kids, not to mention the piss-ignorant right wing Christian conservatives in charge of the abstinence-only sex-ed classes at their school. I've made it clear to the girls that they're no longer just cute little girls, that they're rapidly morphing into beautiful women, with all that that entails. They mostly understood the dry, clinical bits about fertilization and cell division and the spread of disease and such, but I had to explain a bit about what motivates teenage boys, how sometimes an otherwise perfect young gentleman can do a Jekyll/Hyde flip if he gets too wound up (I then had to explain who Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde were). They understand that they're not to dress or behave in an overly provocative (slutty) manner, that it's really not nice or wise to tease boys, because boys can lose control and that there are potentially dire consequences for everyone involved. They know that if they are ever in a situation that makes them uncomfortable, that they are to leave and get to a safe place. If they feel threatened, they are to call 911. I'm also working with them on some simple self-defense moves ("the balls are the Emergency Stop button, kick or punch them").
My dad never sat down to have "the talk" with me, and my mom didn't try to discuss sexual matters with me until I was 16, at which point I knew more about it than she did. (I operated a used book store out of our front hallway when I was 12 - 13 - 14. Among the books on the shelves were works by Friday, Masters & Johnson, Hite, Kinsey and others.) I actually had to correct a few misconceptions my mother had...
If I had to have "the talk" with a 14 year old boy, I'd start by finding out how much he already knows and go from there. Like piccini said, the mechanics of it are pretty simple (a caveman could do it), it's the interpersonal relationship stuff that needs attention. I would stress the concepts of respect and responsibility. Respect for oneself and for others, and responsibility for potential consequences. I'd also find someone with an infant and have this young man change a few shitty diapers. Nothing drives home the idea of potential consequences like the pungent stench of fresh, hot feces.
Also, it's best to wait until everyone is in bed and asleep, then quietly masturbate into a sock. Either that, or do it in the shower, just don't use up all the hot water and try to make sure the spunk goes down the drain and isn't clinging to something that someone else will touch.
My $.02...
I don't have kids (we should all be thankful for that), but I do have a couple of darling nieces. They're 15 and 18, both of them quite beautiful, and both orphans now living with their father's sister... whom they describe as "prudish", "repressed" and "loves Rush Limbaugh".
I sat them down and asked them if they had any questions about sex. Both of them looked a little uncomfortable, neither spoke up, so I quizzed them. Turns out they're both fairly well informed and only needed a few corrections. Kids these days seem, as a rule, pretty well informed, though there is still misinformation out there, propagated by popular culture and other kids, not to mention the piss-ignorant right wing Christian conservatives in charge of the abstinence-only sex-ed classes at their school. I've made it clear to the girls that they're no longer just cute little girls, that they're rapidly morphing into beautiful women, with all that that entails. They mostly understood the dry, clinical bits about fertilization and cell division and the spread of disease and such, but I had to explain a bit about what motivates teenage boys, how sometimes an otherwise perfect young gentleman can do a Jekyll/Hyde flip if he gets too wound up (I then had to explain who Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde were). They understand that they're not to dress or behave in an overly provocative (slutty) manner, that it's really not nice or wise to tease boys, because boys can lose control and that there are potentially dire consequences for everyone involved. They know that if they are ever in a situation that makes them uncomfortable, that they are to leave and get to a safe place. If they feel threatened, they are to call 911. I'm also working with them on some simple self-defense moves ("the balls are the Emergency Stop button, kick or punch them").
My dad never sat down to have "the talk" with me, and my mom didn't try to discuss sexual matters with me until I was 16, at which point I knew more about it than she did. (I operated a used book store out of our front hallway when I was 12 - 13 - 14. Among the books on the shelves were works by Friday, Masters & Johnson, Hite, Kinsey and others.) I actually had to correct a few misconceptions my mother had...
If I had to have "the talk" with a 14 year old boy, I'd start by finding out how much he already knows and go from there. Like piccini said, the mechanics of it are pretty simple (a caveman could do it), it's the interpersonal relationship stuff that needs attention. I would stress the concepts of respect and responsibility. Respect for oneself and for others, and responsibility for potential consequences. I'd also find someone with an infant and have this young man change a few shitty diapers. Nothing drives home the idea of potential consequences like the pungent stench of fresh, hot feces.
Also, it's best to wait until everyone is in bed and asleep, then quietly masturbate into a sock. Either that, or do it in the shower, just don't use up all the hot water and try to make sure the spunk goes down the drain and isn't clinging to something that someone else will touch.
Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
-
deaconblooz
- Magnum Jihad
- Location: Chicago - suburban
Well, my kids are all waaaay on the other side of the "talk". Ages 42, 33 & 32. Luckily for me, my wife was totally involved and pro-active on the subject of sex. She made sure they all knew what the deal was - both for the two girls and the boy. We never found out when they had their "first time until years later when we were all sitting around having a few drinks. It was a pretty funny talk. My son was a busboy at a restaurant while in high school and got his first experience from one of the waitresses after closing - she was pretty cool too. Anyway - best of luck.
Two TV sets and two Cadillac cars, y'know they ain't gonna help me at all.
-
Ames
- Megachiroptera Übermench
- Location: Denver, CO in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!
- Contact:
GG has an excellent point. Find out what he already knows, or thinks he knows. Go from there.
One thing that he has to be aware of above all else is that he MUST respect what a woman says. No always means NO! I don't care what Boulder frat you belong to.
Maybe it might help for you to tell him some embarrassing personal stories just to let him know that everyone screws up. Laughter is the best medicine after all.
One thing that he has to be aware of above all else is that he MUST respect what a woman says. No always means NO! I don't care what Boulder frat you belong to.
Maybe it might help for you to tell him some embarrassing personal stories just to let him know that everyone screws up. Laughter is the best medicine after all.
Cheers,
Ames.
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you...stranger!
Quid Ita Serius?
You never know how much you appreciate your civil liberties until they've been violated.
Ames.
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you...stranger!
Quid Ita Serius?
You never know how much you appreciate your civil liberties until they've been violated.
-
FastCat
- Δv/Δt = Whoopass
- Location: Pacific NorthWET
- Contact:
-
roadmissile
- Chief Marketing Schwaggerizer
- Location: CO
-
MagnusTheBuilder
- Arbiter of Beard
- Location: Denver, CO
- Contact:
I started at 12 and I turned out just fine.
-- The Mag
2003 Kawasaki Vulcan 1500 Classic
2017 Chevy Silverado
1970 Chevelle SS
1951 Chevy Custom
"He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which." --Douglas Adams
2003 Kawasaki Vulcan 1500 Classic
2017 Chevy Silverado
1970 Chevelle SS
1951 Chevy Custom
"He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which." --Douglas Adams
-
guitargeek
- Master Metric Necromancer
- Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
- Contact:
This has always been my belief, and I've instructed my nieces to always say what they mean and mean what they say.Ames wrote:No always means NO!
About a year after my girlfriend moved in with me, I noticed a disturbing trend. I would approach her for sex, only to be rebuffed. I'd try massage, sweet talk, etc. to no avail. I'd let it go, roll over and go to sleep. This happened a few times, and I was growing horny and also quite concerned. Alarmed, even. We wound up having a big row over it, and what do you know, she's incredibly turned on. Tackles me in the living room floor. I don't know, but I suspect it might've had something to do with all the A. N. Roquelaure she was reading, because that's also about the time she started wanting me to tie her up...
Anyway, I let her know that this sort of mixed signal come-here-go-away bullshit just was not going to play. I'm nowhere near smart enough to interpret when no means no and "no" means "yes, but I want you to work for it".
As always, Louis CK sums it up more poetically...
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Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
-
guitargeek
- Master Metric Necromancer
- Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
- Contact:
And while I'm ranting about sex, let me just throw out my policy statement...
The older I get, the more "normal" I realize I am, which is not to say "boring".
No need to tie me up, I'm not going anywhere.
If you hit me, the fuckin's off and we're gonna box.
I look at lingerie and think, "Wow, that's really... in the way."
Humiliation? Had plenty of that in high school.
Pain? I have more than my share of that just walking around.
Pee & poo go in the toilet.
I love the critters, but they have no role to play in sex between humans.
Save the food for a post-coital snack.
Power tools I can get into, for while I am a sexual dynamo, I'm merely human.
I'm generous to a fault when it comes to giving the gift of pleasure, and I expect the same in return.
Group activities are mighty fine, so long as everyone is on the same page (I'm not into guys.)
Basically, I just like to fuck. A lot.
Sadly, that's apparently considered "weird" or "dirty" by some people...
I've been called "vanilla" in a way that I suspect was condescending, but I maintain that good vanilla is quite delicious (though I much prefer rocky road in an ice cream... but sex isn't ice cream).
The older I get, the more "normal" I realize I am, which is not to say "boring".
No need to tie me up, I'm not going anywhere.
If you hit me, the fuckin's off and we're gonna box.
I look at lingerie and think, "Wow, that's really... in the way."
Humiliation? Had plenty of that in high school.
Pain? I have more than my share of that just walking around.
Pee & poo go in the toilet.
I love the critters, but they have no role to play in sex between humans.
Save the food for a post-coital snack.
Power tools I can get into, for while I am a sexual dynamo, I'm merely human.
I'm generous to a fault when it comes to giving the gift of pleasure, and I expect the same in return.
Group activities are mighty fine, so long as everyone is on the same page (I'm not into guys.)
Basically, I just like to fuck. A lot.
Sadly, that's apparently considered "weird" or "dirty" by some people...
I've been called "vanilla" in a way that I suspect was condescending, but I maintain that good vanilla is quite delicious (though I much prefer rocky road in an ice cream... but sex isn't ice cream).
Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
-
Bigshankhank
- Fully Autonomous Cock-Puncher
- Location: Exiled to Living in a Van Down By The River
- Contact:
Well to what has been said, I did go the "What do you already know" phrasing. Turns out he knows what he has been taught about the physical act of it, but knew little else about the potential emotional investment that goes along with it. So to that end I used and reused the word Respect, for yourself, for the girl, for the act of sex itself, and for us his parents. Also apprently all he has been taught is the old fashioned "roll a condom onto a rubber in health class", so I went through the why's to be sure he understood the risk, how using it incorrectly exposes him and his partner to those risks, when to put it on, how to safely remove it after ejaculation, and how to properly dispose of it so that his mom doesn't find it beside his bed. We covered much of the same thing re: jerking off adn how to be discrete as well. In fact he is in the shower as I type this {shudder}.
Overall he had a few questions, mostly about slang, and I didn't get too deep into satisfaction other than to repeat the word respect in terms of making certain that his partner has an enjoyable and fulfilling experience as well, don't be selfish. I think a lot of it got through, he and our ward (also a 14 y/o boy) were paying attention at least.
In my terms, and I expressed this to the boys as well, is it helped me as I developed to have my sister as my confidant, and that he should seek out a similar associate. I even encouraged him to talk to one of his sisters as only a female can open his eyes as to the other side of the equation. And it isn't just a one way street, either, I helped my sister with a lot of her misconceptions and confusion, at least I think I did, and now she and I look back on those times and laugh about how stupid we both were and how glad we were to have each other to talk to. I think that is one of the most important parts, is to have someone that you can trust with your intimate secrets. I have my wife nowadays, but even so I keep my sister informed (and she with her husband) of the things that confuse me about her.
Overall he had a few questions, mostly about slang, and I didn't get too deep into satisfaction other than to repeat the word respect in terms of making certain that his partner has an enjoyable and fulfilling experience as well, don't be selfish. I think a lot of it got through, he and our ward (also a 14 y/o boy) were paying attention at least.
In my terms, and I expressed this to the boys as well, is it helped me as I developed to have my sister as my confidant, and that he should seek out a similar associate. I even encouraged him to talk to one of his sisters as only a female can open his eyes as to the other side of the equation. And it isn't just a one way street, either, I helped my sister with a lot of her misconceptions and confusion, at least I think I did, and now she and I look back on those times and laugh about how stupid we both were and how glad we were to have each other to talk to. I think that is one of the most important parts, is to have someone that you can trust with your intimate secrets. I have my wife nowadays, but even so I keep my sister informed (and she with her husband) of the things that confuse me about her.
It's time for Humankind to ditch the imaginary friends of our species' childhood and grow the fuck up.
-Davros
"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"
Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness
Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.
-Davros
"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"
Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness
Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.
-
Sisyphus
- Rigging the Ancient Mariner
- Location: The Muckworks
- Contact:
Neither I nor my brothers got the "talk" as you put it. Which is wierd, considering we went to Catholic school for eight years and were probably in the most repressed demographic of teenagers turned loose on public schools ever.
If anyone needed such a talk it was probably me, without a doubt.
Funny thing is, of all the thirteen grandchildren in my family, on both sides, my brothers and I are the only ones that have had normal, stable relationships, with children in wedlock. All of my cousins have kids that are from different fathers, are divorced, one is actually married (not even sure about it) to his stepsister and has a couple kids there (that we know of).
Whether or not they got any talking to I'm not sure. I don't know why my extended family is such a freak show. I think in regards to evolution, seems the human species is doomed to only be capable of passing on the dimmest bulb's genetic predisposition to procreate. Everyone else has to actually try.
Common sense seems to be the right approach to speaking to your kid. The hardest part is probably just dealing with your own embarrassment. Your kid will get over it. It's the message that counts, not so much the delivery.
If anyone needed such a talk it was probably me, without a doubt.
Funny thing is, of all the thirteen grandchildren in my family, on both sides, my brothers and I are the only ones that have had normal, stable relationships, with children in wedlock. All of my cousins have kids that are from different fathers, are divorced, one is actually married (not even sure about it) to his stepsister and has a couple kids there (that we know of).
Whether or not they got any talking to I'm not sure. I don't know why my extended family is such a freak show. I think in regards to evolution, seems the human species is doomed to only be capable of passing on the dimmest bulb's genetic predisposition to procreate. Everyone else has to actually try.
Common sense seems to be the right approach to speaking to your kid. The hardest part is probably just dealing with your own embarrassment. Your kid will get over it. It's the message that counts, not so much the delivery.
Sent from my POS laptop plugged into the wall
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Metalredneck
- Largely Uncontroversial
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The Shifty Jesus
- Extra Crispy Compliance Officer
Just a few more things:
1) Give him the number to Planned Parenthood. Make sure he knows he can get condoms there "embarrassment free". Stress the importance of getting tested between partners.
2) Tell him to use plenty of lube
3) Best book on the subject; absolutely hilarious and informative; would make a good discrete gift: The Guide to Getting It On
1) Give him the number to Planned Parenthood. Make sure he knows he can get condoms there "embarrassment free". Stress the importance of getting tested between partners.
2) Tell him to use plenty of lube
3) Best book on the subject; absolutely hilarious and informative; would make a good discrete gift: The Guide to Getting It On
You can buy status, but sucking is immutable. After a certain point, upgrading only makes you suck more ostentatiously.
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motorpsycho67
- Double-dip Diogenes
- Location: City of Angels
Damn I'm glad I don't have kids!
Never got the talk myself, but I was sexually active at 9 (actually earlier than that, but that was my official 1st time). I was an early bloomer.
I just figured it out on my own and it turned out fine.
I agree that laughter is the best medicine. Helps to diffuse an awkward situation.
If the kid is too embarassed to ask questions, point him to some good books. The 'Guide to Getting It On' sounds like a good one.
Never got the talk myself, but I was sexually active at 9 (actually earlier than that, but that was my official 1st time). I was an early bloomer.
I just figured it out on my own and it turned out fine.
I agree that laughter is the best medicine. Helps to diffuse an awkward situation.
If the kid is too embarassed to ask questions, point him to some good books. The 'Guide to Getting It On' sounds like a good one.
'75 Honda CB400F
'82 Kawalski GPz750
etc.
'82 Kawalski GPz750
etc.
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erosvamp
- Sophisticated Meat Machine
- Location: denver
my teenage bible. Excellent recommendations.The Shifty Jesus wrote:Just a few more things:
1) Give him the number to Planned Parenthood. Make sure he knows he can get condoms there "embarrassment free". Stress the importance of getting tested between partners.
2) Tell him to use plenty of lube
3) Best book on the subject; absolutely hilarious and informative; would make a good discrete gift: The Guide to Getting It On
"If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less." -General Eric Shinseki
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Gahread
- Maltov Rattlecan
- Location: Eschenbach, Germany
- Contact:
I had the Talk when I was about 5. My mother had a policy of never holding back anything when I was a kid. Drugs, sex, alcohol, whatever, she didn't try to lie to us just because we were under 18.
I asked where babies came from. I found out. Complete with a standing offer to buy condoms if I ever had a problem with it, and a permanent invite for more info whenever I had questions. Eyes wide, I turned to my father after 20 minutes of discussion and asked if that's what REALLY happened.
"Don't look at me, your mother's the expert."
It took me about another five years before I realized why she started shaking with silent laughter while he buried his nose in the sports page.
I asked where babies came from. I found out. Complete with a standing offer to buy condoms if I ever had a problem with it, and a permanent invite for more info whenever I had questions. Eyes wide, I turned to my father after 20 minutes of discussion and asked if that's what REALLY happened.
"Don't look at me, your mother's the expert."
It took me about another five years before I realized why she started shaking with silent laughter while he buried his nose in the sports page.
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sweetpea
- Maltov Rattlecan
- Location: Richmond
- Contact:
my talk was asking my mother about the 'are you there god it's me margaret' and then she drew the organs on a piece of paper since she's a nurse. the whole thing grossed me out.
then again i was too busy w all kinds of things to really think about boys - probably why i was a late bloomer in that regard. think that i turned out okay as well.
then again i was too busy w all kinds of things to really think about boys - probably why i was a late bloomer in that regard. think that i turned out okay as well.
dachshund must be german for 'insane dog'
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BillyName99
- Maltov Rattlecan
- Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
- Contact:
I don't have kids. I never got "The Talk" from my Mom.
My education came from Hugh Hefner, Bob Guccione, Several Bookstores, and the Public Library.
I would tell you that I would have LOVED to have had someone who really KNEW about sex to explain a few things to me, but I didn't.
So, I'll tell you what I would have liked;
I would have been a lot better off if my mom could have explained everything: The mechanics, pleasures, and the physical and emotional consequences of sex.
Leave the moralizing out of it, except for the proper way to treat a partner.
Also, Make damned sure he knows to keep his mouth shut about it afterwards if he does indeed 'get lucky'.
A Gentleman does NOT ever brag, boast, or even discuss encounter with anyone, except the lady herself.
EVER!
I learned this one the hard way.
That's my $0.02
My education came from Hugh Hefner, Bob Guccione, Several Bookstores, and the Public Library.
I would tell you that I would have LOVED to have had someone who really KNEW about sex to explain a few things to me, but I didn't.
So, I'll tell you what I would have liked;
I would have been a lot better off if my mom could have explained everything: The mechanics, pleasures, and the physical and emotional consequences of sex.
Leave the moralizing out of it, except for the proper way to treat a partner.
Also, Make damned sure he knows to keep his mouth shut about it afterwards if he does indeed 'get lucky'.
A Gentleman does NOT ever brag, boast, or even discuss encounter with anyone, except the lady herself.
EVER!
I learned this one the hard way.
That's my $0.02
I'd rather be Ashes than Dust!
(Jack London)
(Jack London)
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Bigshankhank
- Fully Autonomous Cock-Puncher
- Location: Exiled to Living in a Van Down By The River
- Contact:
Another reason I emphasized the need for condoms. As Furious says, "Just because a girl says she's pillin' ain't gonna keep your dick from falling off."Mask wrote:I never got the "talk" but I do remember those STD images from health class in 6th and 8th grade.
So a few days have passed and it seems he caught what I was saying. We watched some retarded sitcom and he made the point that one of the characters wasn't being respectful of his date. It feels good to do something right.
It's time for Humankind to ditch the imaginary friends of our species' childhood and grow the fuck up.
-Davros
"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"
Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness
Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.
-Davros
"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"
Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness
Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.
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MATPOC
- The Unreasonable Ukranian
- Location: Providence, RI
I'm few years away from having this Talk with my son, he has to learn to talk first, only 14 month now.
I did nave a long talk this summer with my friends 12yo daughter and her friend at the big (2000 people) camping rally about the hormones and Jekyll/Hyde. Her mom was listening from safe distance and later thanked me cause "Parents are not cool enough to listen to, what do they know!!"
Apparently she tried before and got shut down by "I know everything I need to know" Perhaps it was the awkwardness of having this conversation with a parent as well. But kids will listen to a "cool guy with motorcycle" Suppose if I showed up with scooter it might have hurt my "cred".
I did nave a long talk this summer with my friends 12yo daughter and her friend at the big (2000 people) camping rally about the hormones and Jekyll/Hyde. Her mom was listening from safe distance and later thanked me cause "Parents are not cool enough to listen to, what do they know!!"
Apparently she tried before and got shut down by "I know everything I need to know" Perhaps it was the awkwardness of having this conversation with a parent as well. But kids will listen to a "cool guy with motorcycle" Suppose if I showed up with scooter it might have hurt my "cred".
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Bigshankhank
- Fully Autonomous Cock-Puncher
- Location: Exiled to Living in a Van Down By The River
- Contact:
Yeah, it would've.MATPOC wrote: Suppose if I showed up with scooter it might have hurt my "cred".
It's time for Humankind to ditch the imaginary friends of our species' childhood and grow the fuck up.
-Davros
"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"
Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness
Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.
-Davros
"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"
Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness
Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.