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For a good time, call...

A forum for the off topic stuff. Everything from religion to philosophy to sex to humor (see why it used to be called Buggery?). All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged.
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WeAintFoundShit
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Davis

For a good time, call...

Post by WeAintFoundShit » Mon Mar 15, 2010 1:50 am

...me, apparently.

It's nigh on three o'clock in the morning, and some drunk kid keeps calling me, convinced that I'm gonna send a hooker to his hotel room in South San Francisco.

Either it's just drunk kids having a laugh, which I'm cool with, or someone got a hold of the wrong number somewhere down the line, which I hope is not the case.

I use my phone as an alarm clock, and I really don't want it blowing up all night.


"The grip on the right is the fun regulator." -Donny Greene

I crash a lot.

User avatar
MATPOC
The Unreasonable Ukranian
Location: Providence, RI

Post by MATPOC » Mon Mar 15, 2010 5:20 am

Perhaps he was looking for Amy Winehouse cause Xaos told him?

goose
Pâté de Foie Gras
Location: Foggy Peninsula West of Oakland and South of Marin

Post by goose » Mon Mar 15, 2010 5:56 am

sorry 'bout that . . . . it was cold in my apartment.
Drink triples til you're seeing double, feeling single, and looking for trouble! -Johnny Nitro, RIP

"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider

Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9

User avatar
Bigshankhank
Fully Autonomous Cock-Puncher
Location: Exiled to Living in a Van Down By The River
Contact:

Post by Bigshankhank » Mon Mar 15, 2010 6:05 am

In an instance such as this, I would look up the NON-emergency phone number for your local police or sheriff's department, and give him that number to call.
It's time for Humankind to ditch the imaginary friends of our species' childhood and grow the fuck up.
-Davros

"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"

Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness

Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.

calamari kid
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Lake Shitty

Post by calamari kid » Mon Mar 15, 2010 9:16 pm

I had a similar circumstance a couple years back. Some guy called me, repeatedly starting at about 3 am, looking for Shaniqua. He didn't seem dissuaded by the fact that my voicemail greeting referred to the number belonging to Thom in a decidedly waspish male voice.

Does your phone allow you to assign different ring tones to different numbers? I have on occasion assigned "mute" to the numbers from more persistent telemarketers with great success.
"Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon." -Honda manual circa 1962

"Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba...." -Hunter S Thompson

"A psychotic is a guy who's just found out what's going on." -William S. Burroughs

stiles
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Mid Atlantic

Post by stiles » Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:07 pm

There was a persistent drunken asshole who would call my (elderly) parents' home number around closing time looking for "sheniqua". Mom and Dad are ever so polite and proper, and would ask what number he was dialing, and he would say their number, but with an extra digit tacked on the end. The 'rents patiently explained to Drink-Soddened Twit that phone numbers don't have 8 digits, always to no avail.

I am not that polite, and after the 15th call in a month took to answering them myself:

"isth sheneequa therrrrreeeee....."

"yes"

"lemmmeee schpeak to herrrr"

"she can't talk right now"

"whyyy"

"something is in her mouth"*

*those were not my exact words


*CLICK*


he never called again.
"If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap" - Frank Zappa

WeAintFoundShit
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Davis

Post by WeAintFoundShit » Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:58 pm

Well played good sir. Well played.

Fortunately for me, the situation was pretty entertaining.
"The grip on the right is the fun regulator." -Donny Greene

I crash a lot.

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Sisyphus
Rigging the Ancient Mariner
Location: The Muckworks
Contact:

Post by Sisyphus » Tue Mar 16, 2010 3:43 am

I got a text one night about three years ago. "Wanna fuck?" "Sure," I sent back, "but I've got crabs." "U r gross" I thought for a few minutes. "I'll shave real quick, and paint my face." "Wtf?" "should I bring the big toy?" The replies stopped coming. Three days later I sent another text to the number, "I'm watching you. Yummm."
Sent from my POS laptop plugged into the wall

User avatar
Ban Guzzi
I AM THE MOTOR!

Post by Ban Guzzi » Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:18 am

Sisyphus wrote:I got a text one night about three years ago. "Wanna fuck?" "Sure," I sent back, "but I've got crabs." "U r gross" I thought for a few minutes. "I'll shave real quick, and paint my face." "Wtf?" "should I bring the big toy?" The replies stopped coming. Three days later I sent another text to the number, "I'm watching you. Yummm."
That made my morning.

Thank you.
FFFFFUUUUCCCCCKKKK!!!!!!!!

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