Divorce Time.

bullfrog · Post by **bullfrog** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:03 pm

Damn.

I have not been here in a while and I have missed you guys.

A lot has been going on in the last six months.

Job position change, out of state move, and a lot of moto travelling.

I now commute 70 miles per day in the cold rain, fog, and sleet of the season.

Got 2 new free project bikes both 79 XS750s.

Gonna work on the old rustbucket vespa that belongs to the dude who gave me the XS750s.

My wife and I are miserable with each other.

We are both the perfect parents to our daughter but we arent right for each other.

All three of us will benefit from this. Our kid is cool with it. We are amicable and are communicating more now than we ever have. I will be able to take my kid on the road trips that were once solo (albiet in a car....for now,,,) and show her the world beyond herself.

I will disclose more later but I just wanted to touch base with all you MFers.

thanks.

p.s. no doubt about it...i will definitely be at ragnarok!!!

Rench · Post by **Rench** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:07 pm

Sorry to hear a rough decision had to be made, but that's awesome that everyone is being above board about it. Keep the little girl first, and all else will be right.

-Rench

motorpsycho67 · Post by **motorpsycho67** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:19 pm

Good to hear all parties are amicable. I'd say sorry to hear about the divorce, but it sounds like it's the right thing to do, which means everyone will be happier.

My buddy is going through child custody crap with his whackjob ex. Not fun at all.

I'm sure you're thankful it's going well so far.

Rabbit_Fighter · Post by **Rabbit_Fighter** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:45 pm

Great to hear from you. Sorry that you are going through some difficult changes. Best of luck as you get your new lives sorted out.

I look forward to your next ride report.

Pancake · Post by **Pancake** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:57 pm

What part of Texas did you end up in? The armpit is West Texas, eh?

Jaeger · Post by **Jaeger** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 4:18 pm

I was wondering what happened to you.

While I'm happy to hear you're alive and still planning on The Rag, I'm not to happy to hear shit blew up. Still, as has been said, sounds like it's as good as could be hoped for, and that counts for a helluva lot.

Hang in there, brothah, and gods willing, see you on the Rag!

--Jaeger

bndgkmf · Post by **bndgkmf** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 5:00 pm

Sorry about all that. At least your kid is cool with it. They seem to lose out either way.

karl package · Post by **karl package** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 5:07 pm

Sorry to hear it. On the other hand, looking forward to seeing you at Rag.

rolly · Post by **rolly** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 5:09 pm

Sorry to hear this, man. Well, my parents split and I turned out ok, according to some, anyway

Beats growing up in house filled with tension.

piccini9 · Post by **piccini9** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 5:46 pm

Yeah, sorry to hear about the split. Glad to have you back.

Ames · Post by **Ames** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 6:22 pm

Oh man, I am so sorry to hear about this. Take comfort in the fact that the two of you are putting your daughter first. I wish to hell that my ex and I had been able to work together for our kids. Feel free to P.M. me if there's anything I can do to help out.

sun rat · Post by **sun rat** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 6:34 pm

while "divorce" may feel like it has "lose" written all over it, the fact that you and the mother of your child can make it "amiable", maybe even "friendly" means all three of you will certainly win.

guitargeek · Post by **guitargeek** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 8:47 pm

You know, marriage is the leading cause of divorce...

Bon chance, mon frer!

goose · Post by **goose** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:15 pm

the end of anything important is rough. Consequently, I am sorry that things are, well, the way they are. Be good to yourself and to your soon to be ex, you both deserve that, your child deserves that, and in the end, you will be a better person for doing so. Nothing creates more hopeless loneliness than being miserable together. I wish the best for you. While it's unlikely I'll meet you at the Rag (trial scheduled), I'm certain to see youy around sometime. Sometimes, I wish I would simply take my own advice.

Bigshankhank · Post by **Bigshankhank** » Tue Mar 16, 2010 2:31 am

Good luck with everything amigo, glad to see you back among us.
I saw a Bullfrog on another board (2-stroke world?) in Austin, one and the same?

MATPOC · Post by **MATPOC** » Tue Mar 16, 2010 4:21 am

Can't help you with marriage advice, that's my wife's profession, but if you need help with Vespa hit me up.

My parents split up as well, they still fucking torture me 20 years later, don't let that happen you your kids!

problemaddict · Post by **problemaddict** » Tue Mar 16, 2010 6:56 am

Good to hear from ya bf. Sorry about the divorce, but you seem to be handling it in a mature manner. It should turn out for hte best.

Job change? U still truckin'?

Metalredneck · Post by **Metalredneck** » Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:34 am

I know just enough about wimmen to kill us both, but any help with the XS 750 that I can provide, lemme know. I ride a '79 myself.

guitargeek · Post by **guitargeek** » Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:51 am

As an odd aside, my crazy brother used to ride an XS750, and somebody gave him another one just as he was getting divorced...

Photo · Post by **Photo** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:15 am

Geez, man. I'm very sorry to read about this. I hope you and the soon-to-be-ex-missus can keep it sane and friendly during this trying process. Your sweet child will obviously do well with that. Best wishes on getting this situation sorted without losing your sanity, Bullfrog. Sincerely.

Toonce(s) · Post by **Toonce(s)** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 2:02 pm

Bleh.

Glad to hear there is civility at this point, but do watch your back. When I had my divorce I made some huge mistakes assuming that she wasn't going to become hostile. You see, there is no 'deal' here. Things can change. Not saying they will, but by Great Odin's Ravens plan for it. Kinda like wearing your gear. I can forgive my errors because at the time I had never gone through a divorce before and didn't know any different.

The trick is to be defensive without causing an escalation, like when the stolen Imperial shuttle was making a run on Endor...

Han: Don't get too close to that Star Destroyer
Chewie: Aaaarghwhaarg
Han: Just don't make it look like you are keeping your distance
Chewie: Gharrrwharrrarrgh
Han: I don't know, fly casual!

bullfrog · Post by **bullfrog** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:55 am

Thanks for all the good words!!!

I will for sure be needing advice on both the vespa and the xs750 but those projects are on the back burner for now.

I am trying to sell the house that we bought 5 months ago and am trying to buy another house but TX homestead laws make that shit way complicated until our divorce is finalized.

I decided to let the wife and kid stay at the house until i sells just so the kid can retain stability. I will be couch surfing during my work week and i get the kid and the house on my days off.

Theres a lot goin on right now.

Thanks for the support.

Oh yeah, Pancake, w tx = armpit of tx. We just jumped the stateline because the kid starts school next year and things are pretty fucked where we were living...

Jonny · Post by **Jonny** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 10:04 am

Hey Bullfrog, good to see you back, but I've gotta say I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I do hope everything works out as smoothly as possible for you all. You've posted a lot about your daughter and she seems like a brilliant little girl.

Take care and all the best.

Zer0 · Post by **Zer0** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 2:31 pm

Damn, Bully, things must be really fucked up to leave New Mexico for Texas (unless of course you were in thre Little Texas part of NM, which then makes not much of a difference).

But I'm not gonna say sorry either because this looks like something of a positive renewal for everyone. I remember those pics of you and your daughter and how proud and happy you are with her, so I'm really happy you and your wife are choosing the high road. Your daughter will benefit from that.

Glad you're back--we know now why you're gonna be awol here and there, but come back when you can.

Stay strong, Bully.

bullfrog · Post by **bullfrog** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:11 am

Zer0 wrote:Damn, Bully, things must be really fucked up to leave New Mexico for Texas (unless of course you were in thre Little Texas part of NM, which then makes not much of a difference).

But I'm not gonna say sorry either because this looks like something of a positive renewal for everyone. I remember those pics of you and your daughter and how proud and happy you are with her, so I'm really happy you and your wife are choosing the high road. Your daughter will benefit from that.

Glad you're back--we know now why you're gonna be awol here and there, but come back when you can.

Stay strong, Bully.

we were in the TX annex of NM (permian basin...oil country) so all that really changed was the color of our license plates...our kid starts school in the fall and SE schools are scary. TX schools and universities are far superior. We moved here for the sake of the kid and we will stay.

when she is up and out, i will either keep my place here as a base camp in between my travels or i will pack up and move to oregon or something... i am very excited about my future now.

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Divorce Time.

Divorce Time.