It's been a few long minutes since I've taken the time to hang about the board. I've had an interesting 18 months, to say the least. Given the events of Priest's world over the course of that time, I thought it prudent to sequester myself from people for a while (when things are off, it's best that others not be too close to the sucking toilet vortex of crap that my life becomes on occasion).
So what's new?
Most everything, really.
Firstly, after a decade, The Filthy Baker and I are parting ways. It's not a sudden thing. More entropy than catastrophe. A while back, I'd done a bizarre, stupid, immature thing that changed the direction of my life, one that lost me some friends, altered the dynamic of my home life, and shined a very bright light on the ugly places in my world. For a while, I saw it as the reason for the crumbling of my domestic situation. But after some time, I realized it was a symptom of something much deeper, not a cause. I've hidden away for a good year, alternating between self-loathing and seething hate (nothing new), and that battle finally manifested as health issues, both mental and physical. The fuel for that fire finally burned away. The Baker and I are going to take different paths, hers to (presumably) follow her career path, eventually to New England, and mine to push on along the current road solo. Now I'm sailing the uncharted waters of separation and divorce, taking each day as it comes, resolved to immerse myself in my work and other areas of my life.
On that subject: My work world is in a state of constant flux. While the destination remains the same, the road shifts and bends, sometimes unexpectedly, and it takes a lot of my focus to not find myself accidentally under a guard-rail. Small efforts every day, chipping away at building my tiny empire. The doors of my studio will open this year, but there are still hurdles to watch out for.
I've been doing some good things lately. For the longest time, I was spiralling a bit, allowing my poor mental state to affect my hands. But I've located them again - they were hiding under a steaming, stinking pile of stupid self-pity, lost confidence, childish anger, and ugly hate. No matter, shit wipes off. I've some adventure ahead this year, and I will need them to be at their bestest. I'll be travelling some, going to Illinois/Chicago, Detroit, possibly SoCal. I've made some great new friends/contacts, and reconnected with some old ones.
I'm still a douche when left to my own devices. Jackassery here and there. (January 15, 2011: At an afterparty after the second night of the DC Tattoo Expo, 15 pints deep into the evening, I bodyslammed a cute lady cop- and client of the shop - who was also drinking like a pirate and believed that her possession of a great set of tits and a welcome mat in front of her pussy gave her license to grab my balls and otherwise physically molest me in the hotel bar. Much fiasco ensues. Priest remains un-incarcerated because ladycop is ashamed of her behavior. We work it out the next day, agree to not drink at the same venue ever again). Unfortunately, and back to the first subject, without my compass and on my own, I'm still prone to undesirable outbursts and behaviors. Without a handler or a leash, I'll just have to attack this as it comes.
Haven't been on the GS much. I crumbled under the sheer weight and gravity of life, and got really sick for a while. Coupled with winter and work, I've been doing a lot of driving in lieu of riding. I'm getting over that. My helmet is probably full of spiders.
I bought my daughter her first car. She has a job, a career plan, and we've been spending more time talking than we have previously. This is good. Now she has a black, lightly used Mitsubishi Eclipse Spider convertible and a big pair of sunglasses. All Hollywood. She will graduate highschool very early (Next January), and wishes to be a hairstylist. I am very proud of her.
That's that. I figured it retarded to isolate myself from friends/fiends forever just because I'm a grumpy asshole. Why not just not be a grumpy asshole?
Hope this finds you all well and happy.
Priest.
