Pulls pin and ...

[Flat_Black_Rat]

I don't think VMX will become like the cafe scene, mostly because it is about riding not posing. You can't take your VMX bike to the bar and look cool, you take it to the track and thrash it. If anything it is one of the last safe harbors for real riders, by real I mean people who truly love riding and wrenching. The last race I did I talked to more than a few people that got into it because it was all the fun of MX without the budget, the danger of triples, and time training. Around here it is two five lap motos, even racing two classes I wasn't hurting too bad without any training other than some trail riding.

[Smokey]

You guys have not been to one of the VMX shows up here then. It's getting bad.

[Flat_Black_Rat]

You guys have not been to one of the VMX shows up here then. It's getting bad.

The Hammer and Tongs bike show? I have only seen the picture, but I know on race day it is the real deal. I think most of the old guys that want an easy win (and can afford to truck down to Cali or NV to race) stick with AHRMA so they can have any bike that should be in the same class banned for being better. From what I have heard there are more and more local VMX series popping up for racers around the country.

[12ci]

Just because I'm a pyromaniac, here's some oil:

How about this.
Let us all accept that only the original british bikes riden by the original rockers were really cafe-racers.
That will keep that lot silent.
So, to distinguish the "cafe racer style" elements, one could adopt the following for the non-original cafe racers:

Non-period British bikes dressed up like cafe racers would be tea racers.
Japanese bikes dressed up like cafe racers would be cafe ricers.
Italian bikes dressed up like cafe racers would be espresso racers. Or capuccino racers.
Swedish bikes dressed up like cafe racers would be cafe icers.
German bikes dressed up like cafe racers would be kaffee racers.
American bikes dressed up like cafe racers would be sanka racers.

Just so that everyone will get their niche and be happy about it.

Or not.

presenting the NASCAFE racer:



more here

[motorpsycho67]

^^^ Ewwwww.....

[Zim]

^^^ Ewwwww.....

What he said.

[bndgkmf]

presenting the NASCAFE racer:



more here

In the hospital one time an old man shit on his balls. This looks worse.

[Sisyphus]

^ That's kind of wierd. What are you supposed to do with it?

[rolly]

Just because I'm a pyromaniac, here's some oil:

How about this.
Let us all accept that only the original british bikes riden by the original rockers were really cafe-racers.
That will keep that lot silent.
So, to distinguish the "cafe racer style" elements, one could adopt the following for the non-original cafe racers:

Non-period British bikes dressed up like cafe racers would be tea racers.
Japanese bikes dressed up like cafe racers would be cafe ricers.
Italian bikes dressed up like cafe racers would be espresso racers. Or capuccino racers.
Swedish bikes dressed up like cafe racers would be cafe icers.
German bikes dressed up like cafe racers would be kaffee racers.
American bikes dressed up like cafe racers would be sanka racers.

Just so that everyone will get their niche and be happy about it.

Or not.

presenting the NASCAFE racer:



more here

On the same page as that, there's this:

…which is much better looking. But look at that, what is it… Yes, yes it is. Vintage MX style.

[bndgkmf]

^ That's kind of wierd. What are you supposed to do with it?

Well, the nurses cleaned him up. The image is burned in my mind as the worst thing I've ever seen, and I've seen burning bodies, decapitation, evisceration, degloving and childbirth.

[motorpsycho67]

In the hospital one time an old man shit on his balls. This looks worse.

[Zim]

That's... colorful.

[motorpsycho67]

On the same page as that, there's this:

Short one upgrade....... right in the middle.

[bndgkmf]

http://www.britonbees.com/img/BritonBee ... rDrone.jpg

I like it. BUT is it a cafe racer?

[guitargeek]

I like it. BUT is it a cafe racer?

Nope, needs rearsets.

[Beemer Dan]

Fuck all that. A cafe racer isn't a classification, it's what something is, it's what you make it, in the literal sense of the bike that you build and ride. It's like trying to come up with a definitive answer to "what does pussy taste like?"

Unless there's something wrong with it, it tastes like pussy god dammit!

That's not to say there aren't certain things that lend themselves much more to the archetype of the "cafe racer" style or function than others, but it's much more of a postmodernist concept than a platonic ideal. If you are deconstructing exactly what a cafe racer really is, you aren't riding, therefore the argument is poop.

I can call my bike whatever I want, but if I'm doing it right I won't open my mouth because a bug might fly in. At the same time, others can call my bike whatever they want, but I can't hear them because my ears are filled with the sweet roar of wind whipping past.

In summation: cafe racers don't taste like pussy, and pussy doesn't taste like a cafe racer; the taste of pussy IS cafe racer!

[motorpsycho67]

I'm sorry, but I've not tasted any pussy that was anything like a cafe racer.....

Flat tracker maybe....

[SpecialK]

When I find the cafe racer that tastes like pussy I will ride it all day long. I will grow an ironic mustache, drink shitty beer (because it's cool not because it's cheap like right now), I will dress exclusively in tight jeans and retro t-shirts, and I will buff and wax it all night long. I don't think the world is actually like that though.

[motorpsycho67]

When I find the cafe racer that tastes like pussy I will ride it all day long. I will grow an ironic mustache, drink shitty beer (because it's cool not because it's cheap like right now), I will dress exclusively in tight jeans and retro t-shirts, and I will buff and wax it all night long. I don't think the world is actually like that though.

Don't forget the 3/4 helmet and tennis shoes

[guitargeek]

Yeah, um, pretty sure y'all are talking about the bobber crowd.

It's why I quit looking at dotheton, because the hobbyists over there were no longer interested in making bikes that could go around corners and started turning out hardtail barhoppers.

[motorpsycho67]

Yeah, um, pretty sure y'all are talking about the bobber crowd.

Sometimes hard to tell the difference between the two...

[Beemer Dan]

Yeah, um, pretty sure y'all are talking about the bobber crowd.

It's why I quit looking at dotheton, because the hobbyists over there were no longer interested in making bikes that could go around corners and started turning out hardtail barhoppers.

That bike looks like a blast to ride! Not terribly functional for much more than bar hopping and I'm not totally behind that because there's no room for a passenger and what fun is bar hopping if you can't bring something home that you'll regret in the morning and then be all like "ZOMG what the hell did I do last night?" and then you have to do the ride of shame going to each bar to figure out which one it was that you left your wallet/phone/friends/etc. at all the time getting laughed at by the barkeep because you definitely left a little bit of your dignity at each one and at this point you're shocked that you had that much dignity to lose in the first place and even Charlie Sheen is like "damn dude, that's shameful" and now you're still riding around with this burned out and hungover hipster chick on the back because she can't even remember which band's warehouse she's been staying in because most of her evenings are spent with fools like you who have had too much to drink and through the haze of way too much Natty Bo and the dark lights of the smoking area which are really those pink sodium streetlights because a bunch of concerned soccer moms outlawed smoking inside the establishment really makes things even that much worse because then you only go into the bar when you need more cheap beer or gotta pee and you should have known something was up when that hipster chick left the dude's bathroom as you were going in but hell you weren't paying attention and those skinny jeans looked so good and then one the just led to another and when all was said and done the next day you swore an oath to yourself and your long dead golden retriever Xerxes that you were going to get rid of that damn backseat on the bike so you'll never have to go through all this again!

But I digress, that bike is pretty cool. Not as cool as if it was a cafe racer, but still pretty cool

[thrasherbill]

But I digress, that bike is pretty cool. Not as cool as if it was a cafe racer, but still pretty cool

Saw this one over on bikermetric.com and got thinking I could probably get my old XS400 back from the guy I traded it off to.



Totally unpractical but I agree it would be a hoot to ride and could be built fairly inexpensively. I've been kicking the idea around of getting my 57 bug back on the road but I really have no where to keep it at my house and insurance costs would kill me. Sub-400cc = cheap insurance and there is always room for another bike so it seems the choice is pretty clear. If I did build something like the above I would call it a Choppacafethingamabobber.

[stiles]

I'm sorry, but I've not tasted any pussy that was anything like a cafe racer.....

Flat tracker maybe....

Was there dirt in it? Were steel shoes involved?

(insert joke here about covering your beer when a pass is made near you)

[motorpsycho67]

Saw this one over on bikermetric.com and got thinking I could probably get my old XS400 back from the guy I traded it off to.

Not my cup o' tea, but ya gotta love the simplicity....

[bndgkmf]

But I digress, that bike is pretty cool. Not as cool as if it was a cafe racer, but still pretty cool

Saw this one over on bikermetric.com and got thinking I could probably get my old XS400 back from the guy I traded it off to.

That exhaust would be aimed right at my ear.

[rolly]

But I digress, that bike is pretty cool. Not as cool as if it was a cafe racer, but still pretty cool

Saw this one over on bikermetric.com and got thinking I could probably get my old XS400 back from the guy I traded it off to.

That exhaust would be aimed right at my ear.

And he says it's impractical! It has heated seat!

[Beemer Dan]

That is a cool little bike! I agree about the exhaust pipe being a bit much in the ear tho. I'm pretty torn with these mini-bobbers. On one hand they could be much more functional as a cafe or even as the stock machine, on the other hand they look like a lot of fun. I think the only thing that really puts me off about them is the lack of rear suspension, and that's only because they would have a bad affect on my internal aftermarket metal bits. It would be fun to do one of these up and give it some sneaky hidden rear suspension, the one that gg posted up has the travel room for it.

I think a lot of what it comes down to for me is that it can/will be ridden. You can ride the balls of a 400cc around town with it missing a clutch, brakes, all sorts of stuff. Back when we were all broke we had plenty of experience romping around on small displacement bikes that had snapped cables, wobbly tires, a fouled plug, headlight dead, etc.. Doing any of that intentionally sounds a bit off, but it's not like 30 miles without a front brake will ruin the experience.

What yucks me out about a lot of the trailer queen choppers is that not only are they not functional to ride, they aren't nearly as enjoyable because they have crap suspension/brakes/handling, are too low to the curb and who the hell wants to break a $60k bike in half because you hopped a curb? These mini-bobbers don't suffer from the same problems for the most part, and if by chance you did break one in half you're only out the time it takes to re-weld and a can of Krylon.

These bikes are kind of like putting expensive rims and gullwing doors on an old ford pinto. It's absurd and not functional at all, but it's not like you'll be hitting the track with it. It's also a nice fuck you to anyone out there that is too much of an elitist/purist, and that's good for laughs any day. There's nothing like parking a garage built abomination next to some douchebag who sat on a waiting list for six months for something exclusive and showing him up.

[guitargeek]

it's not like 30 miles without a front brake will ruin the experience.

Really? You're okay riding without a front brake?

I'm not.

I think it's fucking stupid to remove the front brake, and the rear suspension, too, for that matter, all for the sake of fashion.

My bike's got a hard seat and torturous ergos, making it less functional for long rides, but it's great in the twisties! It's geared pretty tall, too, so launch technique is critical (especially since the little battery is too weak to turn the starter and the bike has to be pushed). It does, however, still have all gauges, turn signals, front brake, front fender, mirrors, horn, etc. I've ridden it in heavy rain, through foot-deep puddles, and it did just fine.

Also, open-face helmets are stupid. My face ain't all that pretty, but it's the only one I got...

Y'all tell me that only hipster douchebags ride bikes like mine, and I call bullshit. I'm geographically isolated, so I'm not exposed to such, but I seem to recall seeing a lot of guys wearing girl pants and sneakers riding scooters, not cafe bikes.

I feel confident saying that there are dickheads in every motorcycling subculture. Around here it's mostly idiots on cruisers in shorts and a t-shirt, no helmet, no formal training. I know of one "cafe reenactor" (a term I coined, by the way) in Oklahoma. He pieced together a pretty nice old Norton, wears a pudding bowl helmet and period correct garb, goes around calling everyone "mate". He's from Oklahoma, and we don't call each other "mate" here. He trailers his Norton around to various regional Rocker/59/Ton Up functions because it's like a museum piece with perfect chrome and perfect paint.

I'm not that guy.

I put a lot of goddamn work into my junky old bike because I wanted one like what I now have. Wanna talk shit about it? That's fine... but what the fuck have you built lately?

[motorpsycho67]

gg, no one is talking shit about you or your bike. Relax

Out here (at least in California), there's a big cafe racer bandwagon that all sorts of new riders are jumping on. We're just pontificating on some of the colorful folks who've jumped...