Bad News

spectre · Post by **spectre** » Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:19 pm

You folks have never met me or know me that well, but it is 2 AM can't sleep so I have to vent. Have found out my wife has cancer. Am finding out monday if they can operate, or what kind of treatment can be done. Alot of stuff goes thru you head . Anybody else ben in the same boat ? Do not know what the fuck to do . The waiting seems to last forever.

Ban Guzzi · Post by **Ban Guzzi** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 3:02 am

I wish you both luck. I don't know how I would react in your situation.

My heart goes out to you and your wife...

Photo · Post by **Photo** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 5:25 am

I've never been married Spectre, but I've helped my family to fight with cancer most of my life. While this may sound too obvious, it's true...take each step patiently, and continue living in each moment. Your spirit and strength will have a greater effect on your wife than any medication the doctor may offer. My thoughts and heart are with you and your wife.

xtian · Post by **xtian** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 8:36 am

hi spectre.
one of my close relatives got a cancer 20 years ago. she had to fight a rough couple of month but she recovered all right.
no sign of relapse eversince.

when the pain is gone, it just disspears, but the love and support you show will stay for long. never forget that a good positive mind is a powerfull medecine and that maybe, surely, happy endings occur.
wish you the best

Post by **DerGolgo** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 8:59 am

spectre, I hope you two will be allright.

From the experience with illness I have had in my family all I can say is, don't let it define your life. That's for you to do, not for some disease against which modern medicine finds better weapons every day.

mtne · Post by **mtne** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:48 am

Damn, as hard as it is try to keep in the present and make it as good as you can. Let the what ifs come as they will when they come. Not that it's easy to do.........

Head up, and do let us know how things go. I know with this crew we'll do what we can to help.

take good care of your wife and yourself.

vespaboy · Post by **vespaboy** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 11:11 am

Spectre,
About a week back, my 20 month old daughter broke her leg. When they x-rayed it, they discovered that the reason the leg broke was that there was a tumor/growth inside her tibia. We were absolutly terrified, and she had to have test after test run on her. Bone cancers are rare in toddlers her age, but when they do hit, they are as bad as it gets. Painful treatment, poor prognosis. It was without a doubt the scariest time of my life. Fortunatly, after days of blood tests, MRIs, CT scans, and x-rays we have ruled out the worst possiblitys, and now it is just a matter of watching and waiting to see how things heal, but surgery is unlikely, and chemo even less likely.
This is the most awful thing to have to consider, that your loved one may not always be there, and that things may not be OK. But they may be OK, keep that in mind.
My best advice is to make your doctors work for you. You have enough to worry about, and enough to do. The doctors and their staff are there for you, use that. Make them give you information, and find as much info on your own. There are a lot of new treatments out there, and doctors don't always know them.
Good luck, and I hope things turn out OK for you, as they seem to be for me.

Aggroton · Post by **Aggroton** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 2:53 pm

fuck cancer...

my uncle lost his life to that bitch 2 years ago now...

fight her with all your worth...stomp on the other fucker till she is dead...

and on a more positive note...
my uncle did really well at a holistic doctor in conjunction with modern meadicine...he was all about healing the whole body and it will kill the cancer...but he had a raquet ball sized tumor in heis brain...it really helped him deal with everything i think...just stay positive and stay strong...

spectre · Post by **spectre** » Sun Sep 25, 2005 5:01 pm

Thanks guys for your support and messeges. I am no stranger to illness, my mom had cancer and beat it, but lost to a stroke, my dad lost his battle to ms , and lots of others who have won & lost. Just lost focus for awhile, gotta keep praying and focust. Reading your messeges realey hit me , thanks again . And my prayers go out to you Vespaboy and daughter and family.

Thanks it means it alot guys.

Dobbs · Post by **Dobbs** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 6:28 am

I can't imagine what it's like for you and your wife. I've been with my wife for almost 10 years, married for the last three. She is the very air I breath. I wish you and your family all the best that can come your way. "If you are strong, others will be strong around you."

zig · Post by **zig** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:21 am

hey spectre, keep a positive attitude cuz that matters most. this may sound strange but it is proven and true. i've seen it work firsthand. she needs to start ingesting marijauna. either eating it or smoking it. simmer some good organic pot in some butter and then use that butter to cook with. only lung cancer patients really need to smoke it. what this will do is retard the growth of any tumors, sometimes almost stopping the spread completly. it is no miricle cure but it is proven to almost stop the spread or growth of the cancer thus giving the traditional western medicine doctors a chance to figure it out. this is in no way meant to replace other treatments!!! it will just buy her some valuable time. i have seen cases where people were given weeks to live because of in operable cancer and with a combination of treatment and marijuana live another 50 years...you don't have to take just my word on this...check it out...i've seen it save lives...good luck and best wishes and you are not alone. keep her cheerful...stress kills faster than anything.

Ames · Post by **Ames** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 11:46 am

Spectre,
I wish I had something better to say than I hope both of you are alright. Hopefully today will bring you good news at the doctors office. Please keep us posted and let us know if we can help.

spectre · Post by **spectre** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 5:54 pm

Well folks , have better news . She gets a bone marrow test wednesday ,then starts treatments monday . The doc said if you are gona get cancer this is a very treatable variaty. Sounded very promising. One treatment every three weeks for six weeks then a possible follow up with radiation. Most likely loose the hair but thats minor beans , it will grow back. thanks for your thoughts and prayes.

Rabbit_Fighter · Post by **Rabbit_Fighter** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 5:59 pm

Glad to hear that things are so optimistic now. I'm sure this isn't going to be fun, but I'm sure you'll get through it. Take care and remember that our thoughts are with you.

rhinoviper · Post by **rhinoviper** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 6:14 pm

I'm very glad to hear it's a treatable kind of cancer. My maternal grandmother has had a double mastectomy and is now on her third marriage (second husband died of cancer) and very happy and doing very well. I have a good friend who finished chemo last spring and is doing well. My mom (adoptive) lost her mom to breast cancer. My mom went through radiation about 9 years ago - kept all of her hair - and has been cancer free ever since. My thoughts go out to you both. Stay strong, and you know you have people here to support you if and when needed.

(Andy - my thoughts are with you and your family, too. Sorry to hear about the news. We're here for you!)

Post by **Beemer Dan** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:11 pm

Spectre and VespaBoy, sad to hear about what has happened, but it's good to read that things aren't as bad as initially feared. When did our lives get so serious eh? Seems like just five years ago the worst problems we had are things that wouldn't even be a tick on the radar now.

I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my wife, she is everything to me and more. Her and I have been through a lot of hell from the world, but we've always been good to each other and for each other, and that makes all the difference.

Spectre, you and your wife will be strong for each other, you'll get through this. Just remember to laugh and cry when you need to, be completely honest about your frustrations, fears and hopes. This stuff is always easier when there are two, and you will get through it. If all else fails and you both start to get a little nuts, Zig's advice is pretty good. Medicinal attributes aside, it's important that you keep laughing and smiling together.

Vespaboy, I can't even imagine what you two are going through. I have no doubt that you will get through this and you're little one will grow up strong and healthy. Give a hug to the missus for me.

Ames · Post by **Ames** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 8:37 pm

Vespaboy,
Anything I can do please get in touch with me.

Spectre,
On the bright side, her hair will grow back...mine's going for good. Glad to hear you got some good news. Hope it keeps coming.

zig · Post by **zig** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 8:47 pm

good deal...my cousin had almost the same thing and she beat it... keep her happy and keep yer chin up...

red · Post by **red** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 8:56 pm

spectre,

my friend fought lukemia for 7 years if i remember correctly. they only gave him a few months. my roommate's fiance got diagnosed 2 or 3 years ago. multiple operations, therapy and etc, no sign of it coming back.

i believe your mindset and hope play a large factor. psychological first aid is something we learned in EMT class, hope can keep you alive, sometimes more effective than medicine.

take care and don't give up hope!

Dobbs · Post by **Dobbs** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 7:02 am

I'm glad to hear it. Please keep us up to date on her progress

vespaboy · Post by **vespaboy** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 7:03 am

Thanks for all the good will!
Spectre, I'm glad that things are looking better, I hope the treatments go very easily, and I'm glad that the prognosis is good.
We go to the doctor again on thursday for additional x-rays that will tell us how things are healing. If it is healing up well (which the onocologist seems to think will be the case), Katie will be put into a walking cast (she is PISSED that she can't walk!), and then in a month even that will go. If things aren't healing, they'll biopsy the growth, and find out for sure what it is, and what treatment would be appropriate.
In all, it was a very scary situation, but the end results seem to be OK. A broken leg and a pissed off toddler I can deal with, considering the alternative.

badi · Post by **badi** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 1:22 pm

Difficult situation, what to say, how to help? I really don't know. My wife suffers from ms and my older sister is busy dieing from cancer. Still I haven't found a way to handle it.
Nevertheless I wish you and your wife all the best and a quick recovery.

RevSin · Post by **RevSin** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 11:33 pm

What you have decribed is one of my biggest fears. Scary shit indeed. I wish you and your wife the best of luck. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Rev§in

Login

Bad News

Bad News