I think I'm ready to just start punching faces in.

[WeAintFoundShit]

I've been a pretty nice guy for the past 33 years. One might even say exceedingly nice. I strive pretty hard for my integrity, and to treat each situation with fairness. I DO, however, draw the line at being a whipping boy or a doormat, but that is beside the point at hand.

At this point, I'm getting pretty sick of assholes, and really just want to start knocking them the fuck out. I think that a quick, hard shot to the solar plexus ought to be legal to give someone who thinks that they can just be an asshole to someone with impunity.

This week's asshole high point is a short, angry little man who is a civil engineering professor at my school. This short little angry man is going to try and have me fired for speeding in an alleyway. I was traveling so quickly that he had to leap out of the way of my vehicle, lest I run him over.

The only problem with that scenario is the fact that in said alleyway, the fastest one can really go is about 5-7 miles an hour. I was also towards a tight (full lock) left hand turn, meaning that I was alredy on the brakes down to about two miles an hour. This guy walks from behind a blind corner without looking for traffic, gets startled when he sees my truck heading towards him, and freezes in his tracks. I hit the brakes, wait to see what he's going to do (as in, is he waiting for me to go, or should I wait for him to go?)
He stands like a stump, making me awkwardly try to fit around him.
Then he throws a childish fit, and is off to report me to my boss.

He honestly reminded me of a guy who started an argument with me over a traffic incident back in 1996. He was pissed, I was level headed and polite about it. Same as today. Both people just got more angry at my polite and respectful (but steadfast in my point of view) comments. Only in 1996, the man escalated the incident and I got to beat the shit out of him.

This time, he's just off to try and get me fired. I can only hope that his douchebaggery is a regular occurrence (which I could *easily* see being the case) and my boss is already all too familiar with it.

Really though, I kinda just want to cave his face in, because I'm sick of playing nice with whatever fuckwit decides to take a crap on my proverbial doorstep whenever they please. I fail to understand how trying to fuck up someone's future is any better than hitting them in the cheekbone. Both are a traumatic assault with permanent consequences, and if he gets to do one, I should be able to reply in kind.

Ahhh, if only.
Sigh.

[xaos]

I fantasize about violence, too. Though, I never do it...I prefer a good tongue lashing.

[Ames]

I feel your pain. At the movies last night two asshats tried to cut in front of my kids and I and nobody else said a word. I asked them, politely, to get in the back of the fucking line,, just like everyone else had done. Then this drunken teenager kept bellowing out the character's names throughout the movie. After I'd had enough I turned and, politely, reminded him he wasn't in his living-room and needed to shut the fuck up.

People suck.

Hang in there and I hope this blows over.

[calamari kid]

How much do you like your gig? Is mister shitface a direct superior? If you like your gig, and from this end it seems pretty sweet, I'd play it cool with the higher ups. Mr fuckstick most likely has a rep, I've worked with too many of them over the years and they always do. You'll just look good playing it cool, and he'll look even more like the santorum stain he is.

They're everywhere, the petty little tyrants. Engaging them only feeds them. Ignore them and move beyond them, they're incapable of keeping up.

[WeAintFoundShit]

Yeah, I'm guessing he does have a rep. His whole attitude was one of self importance and superiority. His whole thing was "I'm going to talk, and you're going to listen, and I'm not going to let you say a word to me because I'm right."

Mostly I'm over it. Venting it here helped a lot.
Still, though, it would be SO MUCH FREAKING FUN to punch him. I think on some level, humans have forgotten that we ARE animals, and in abandoning the sort of social correction that animals dish out on one another to keep the peace, some of us think that we can behave as rudely and as selfishly as we please to our fellow humans.

I'm not saying that wholesale violence as a social normalizer is in any way a good idea; that's a whole other can of worms entirely, and we're all smart enough to already know why. I just wish that there were more real and immediate consequences that could be enacted for being a fucking piece of shit, and a good solid ass kicking is the most natural among them.

[DerGolgo]

Well, you could walk in front of his car in a similar manner and report that he was trying to get revenge...

A lot of people will, at the moment of conflict, threaten you with the most frightening thing they think they can get away with, just to make themselves feel better.

I constantly have to deal with customers threatening to involve their lawyer, but it almost never happens.
Customers threaten me to complain about me personally to my supervisors, hasn't happened once.

Chances are, he (perhaps subconsciously) realized that he made an idiot mistake just walking into the road like that, instantly went into self-esteem preservation mode by blaming you and emphasizing his importance.
If he does actually take it to whoever his superiors are, what are the chances he has already wasted their time with a hundred similar complaints?

The worst likely outcome is probably that he is informed that nothing can be done without evidence and you are left with an enemy for life.

[Bigshankhank]

I say get out in front of this with your superiors (if it is not too late already). Carry your hat in hand metaphorically speaking, be contrite and do not assume that this guy is a pain in the ass to everyone, let your boss tell you that. Either way, go to your boss, tell him what happened and try to leave out the whole " where are our animal instincts/cave his face in" part.

Funny, I was at the airport last night trying to catch a cab to the house. Walk out to the cab station, the attendant is talking to someone but conveniently there is a button on the wall below a sign that clearly states "For taxi service, press button once." I dutifully press the button, wait for exactly four minutes (I checked my phone), and grumbled something while I returned to press the button a forbidden second time. Attendant, no longer speaking with anyone else, asks me if I needed a cab, why didn't I ask him. I explained about the sign/button (which, btw was within reach of where he was sitting, and this was no small sign), and in response the guy got out of his seat, threw his arms out and exclaimed "So what, I guess I can go home now, is that right?" Taken aback, I actually thought that there had to be a camera somewhere filming this unecesssary outburst for humor's sake, and I asked the guy, "Are you fucking with me?" Not in a mean way, but in an incredulous, confused sort of way like when someone still wants to believe they won a lottery ticket even after having told it was fake. Had I not been over-the-moon happy (I had a great trip, more on that later) and in a tremendous hurry I would've continued the conversation in a more angry-customer-who-is-not-going-to-take your-petty-fiefdom bullshit, but c'est la vie.

[piccini9]

When, (if) this comes to you and some other people sitting around discussing what happened, you MUST refer to angry little fuckstick as Mr. Santorum at every opportunity.
Then quickly apologize and correct yourself.

On a related note, I damn near knocked some shithead off his motorcycle yesterday. Walking up the sidewalk with the Giant Puppy, and dude just turned off the road into a bank parking lot right at me, like, I thought it must be a friend of mine fucking with me.
Nope. He was just an idiot...