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DUI and the Blow and Go

A forum for the off topic stuff. Everything from religion to philosophy to sex to humor (see why it used to be called Buggery?). All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged.
Post Reply
goose
Pâté de Foie Gras
Location: Foggy Peninsula West of Oakland and South of Marin

DUI and the Blow and Go

Post by goose » Fri Sep 09, 2011 2:34 pm

I was going through some of my stuff on my desk and I ran across a pic of my old friend's car that I modified.

Garreth was a friend of mine that passed away last year. However, when he was alive he liked to drink - a lot. And when he drank, he liked to drive, like a fucking idiot (the decision to drive - not necessarily the manner - though, I wouldn't know). Anyway, after a couple of DUI's the state still let him keep his license (ok, that was stupid). However, they did, at least, require a breathalyzer.

Anyway, those damn things cost a pretty penny and you can't tamper with them or it sends the information to some satellite and they blow you up or something. Garreth, bought a new car and had this damn thing installed so he could drive.

Problem was: He didn't have a license yet. So, he asked me to pick up the car for him. You have to blow HARD into the damn thing to start it, then it randomly goes off WHILE YOU ARE DRIVING. You have like 20 seconds to blow into it again, or the car shuts down. Pretty embarrassing, but not embarrassing enough.

So, I decide it needs an irrevocable modification before delivering the the car. A quick stop for supplies, chop the tube real short and make modification for Garreth.

I'm practically the new Jesse James of Breathalyzer customs:


Image

Yes, I am a dick!


Drink triples til you're seeing double, feeling single, and looking for trouble! -Johnny Nitro, RIP

"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider

Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9
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DerGolgo
Zaphod's Zeitgeist
Location: Potato

Post by DerGolgo » Fri Sep 09, 2011 2:53 pm

Hey, that's really educational.

"Imagine you drive drunk, and you kill someone, you'll end up in county sucking a real one!"
If there were absolutely anything to be afraid of, don't you think I would have worn pants?

I said I have a big stick.
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Zer0
Professor of Poop
Location: Smoggy Valley--east of Smog City

Post by Zer0 » Fri Sep 09, 2011 3:02 pm

Outstanding work, Goose.
'74 R90/6--Thor
'05 Sportster 1200--FrankenRat
My boy D when he was 4 wrote:Bones aren't important--we like motorcycles.
High Kommand wrote:That's the problem with giving a bike a girl's name. Too much temptation to lay it down to examine the undercarriage...
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piccini9
Everybody dies. It's a love story.

Post by piccini9 » Fri Sep 09, 2011 4:22 pm

That looks like a penis.
Adding pink and unicorns makes everything better.
-roadmissile

Treatment may include things like riding motorcycles and crocheting… whatever it takes to counteract the deleterious effects of existence. - Rolly
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Bigshankhank
Fully Autonomous Cock-Puncher
Location: Exiled to Living in a Van Down By The River
Contact:
Contact Bigshankhank

Post by Bigshankhank » Fri Sep 09, 2011 5:57 pm

You are an evil genius.
It's time for Humankind to ditch the imaginary friends of our species' childhood and grow the fuck up.
-Davros

"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"

Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness

Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.
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calamari kid
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Lake Shitty

Post by calamari kid » Fri Sep 09, 2011 7:02 pm

That's truly inspired.
"Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon." -Honda manual circa 1962

"Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba...." -Hunter S Thompson

"A psychotic is a guy who's just found out what's going on." -William S. Burroughs
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Jonny
Sausage Pirate
Location: Anakie Rd.

Post by Jonny » Sat Sep 10, 2011 2:41 am

?

That looks perfectly normal.
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guitargeek
Master Metric Necromancer
Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
Contact:
Contact guitargeek

Post by guitargeek » Sat Sep 10, 2011 5:09 am

:lol:
Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
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rc26
The Devil's Banana
Location: Va.

Post by rc26 » Sat Sep 10, 2011 5:41 am

Now that's a deterrent.
"I reject your reality and substitute my own" - Stole it.
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tucko
Maltov Rattlecan
Location: whittier, ca

Post by tucko » Sat Sep 10, 2011 2:15 pm

I don't get it.
The more corrupt a society, the more numerous its laws.
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Zer0
Professor of Poop
Location: Smoggy Valley--east of Smog City

Post by Zer0 » Sat Sep 10, 2011 3:47 pm

Blow on that thing and you'd be giving instead of getting anything, Tucko.
'74 R90/6--Thor
'05 Sportster 1200--FrankenRat
My boy D when he was 4 wrote:Bones aren't important--we like motorcycles.
High Kommand wrote:That's the problem with giving a bike a girl's name. Too much temptation to lay it down to examine the undercarriage...
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Sisyphus
Rigging the Ancient Mariner
Location: The Muckworks
Contact:
Contact Sisyphus

Post by Sisyphus » Sat Sep 10, 2011 5:30 pm

My brother had one of those--sans penis--on his car for the same reasons.
I wonder if you couldn't just get a regular dive tank hooked up to it?
Sent from my POS laptop plugged into the wall
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Moto_Myotis
Barista of Doom
Location: Alameda, CA
Contact:
Contact Moto_Myotis

Post by Moto_Myotis » Tue Sep 13, 2011 2:52 pm

My God, that's a work of genius!
Scrappy Denizen on the Isle of Misfit Toys
2003 Triumph Bonneville T100
1977 Yamaha RD400
196- Sabot Dinghy
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goose
Pâté de Foie Gras
Location: Foggy Peninsula West of Oakland and South of Marin

Post by goose » Tue Sep 13, 2011 6:13 pm

to be honest, it was really intended as a means to prevent him from convincing passersby or friends from blowing for him (alcoholics do that).

I mean, it may be difficult to get someone to blow into a plastic tube (you know, "oh dude, can you help me out here? I just used mouthwash and it may set off the detector" {bullshit excuse}), but it's likely impossible to charm someone into putting that lil plastic penis in their mouth to help a brother out. I wanted to install something bigger, darker and vein -ier, but time constraints were high and tool access was low. It had to remain functional.

Also, I thought it would be funny if that damn thing went off randomly as he was trying to a) stay cool with a cop beside him - um officer, umm, err ; b) look cool with a chick that pulled up beside him "hey good lookin I'll be back to. . . oh shit"; and c) get some guy to wink at him as it went off by the Triangle (Denver Gay Bar).

Sadly, the booze finally killed him. However, he did stop driving long before it (he ripped out the blow and go - it took about 6 months for the cops to realize it was removed and the car was repossessed by the state).

As an aside, when playing a practical joke such as this, you should get to your final destination BEFORE INSTALLING THE APPARATUS! Yeah, I blew that lil pecker like four times just to deliver the car. Sux when you get caught up in your own web.
Drink triples til you're seeing double, feeling single, and looking for trouble! -Johnny Nitro, RIP

"British bikes of that era are made of a special alloy known as Brittainium. It is the only metal known to be able to rust even when fully submerged in oil. It also corrodes microscopic passages through itself whenever it makes contact with any known gasketing material." - AZ Rider

Re: Husaberg Build: "I pictured it more like the heroin addicted ex that keeps turning up, the bleeding you dry, breaking your heart, and crushing your soul, but you keep taking her back because it's the most fun ride you've ever had..." Bo-9
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WeAintFoundShit
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Davis

Post by WeAintFoundShit » Tue Sep 20, 2011 7:19 pm

Where is that applause GIF when you need it?
"The grip on the right is the fun regulator." -Donny Greene

I crash a lot.
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stiles
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Mid Atlantic

Post by stiles » Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:56 pm

That is epically right in its' wrongness.
"If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap" - Frank Zappa
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