Greetings Terrorists:
I haven’t been on the board much lately; it's been a whirlwind of a summer. As some of you may know, I skydive to make a living in this world, and the warm months in the flyover states are when we make the lions share of our income. 800-plus jumps since May 1st has kept me plenty busy.
In the course of a typical day I am allotted a tremendous opportunity to meet some very interesting people- be it experienced skydivers, or people who are sampling freefall for their first time. Yesterday proved to be no exception.
I started the day by taking a middle-aged Arab man named Ronny on a tandem skydive. We started in on the typical banter (you know- how ya doin, where ya from, what do you do for a living...) as I was fitting him for the tandem harness. His story was not typical.
He related that he was living in Detroit, in a house with 15 other people, and driving a cab to get by. He had just relocated from Iraq, and prior to the over throw of Sadam, had been a surgeon. After the war started, and the hospital where he had operated was blown up, he worked with the U.S. Army as an interpreter. One day, while out on patrol, a roadside bomb was detonated under the humvee he was riding in. His hands were badly burnt, and while they functioned normally, all sensation was absent. I guess it's important for a surgeon to have a very fine touch...
After his story, I implied that he must be glad to be out of Bahgdad. With a clever grin he said, “Detroit is not much of an improvement.” I got a good chuckle out of that one.
Midday, I shot video and still photos for a tandem. Roya, the student, is an extremely fetching lady and we hit it off right away. The skydive went great, and we all had a great time. Afterwards, she walks up to me and hands me her number, saying that she hopes she isn't being to forward. I tell her that, as a rule, I don't date students- and that even if I did, in short order I would be fleeing Michigan for the winter. She simply replied, “I don't care about all that, I HAVE to hook up with you before you leave.” That made me feel pretty good.
On the last jump of the afternoon, my partner and I took a woman named Kelli on her AFF level one skydive (what is AFF?). Kelli is in her mid thirties, and probably wasn't very athletic as a younger lady. During ground prep, I get a lot of deer in the headlights looks from her, and she doesn't recall much from the training she received the previous day. As we exit the plane, Kelli falls apart. Much akin to being thrown into a washing machine, we flip and tumble for 6,500ft until we pass through her opening altitude and I deploy her parachute. Boy, was my heart beating hard as I flew to the ground.
That evening, the whole crew went to our usual haunt, the local VFW, for beer, liquor and meat. This place is great, the drinks are cheap (and potent!), and the food's homecooked. It's inhabited by plenty of crusty old veterans, and the walls are covered in old black & white pictures of wars past, and decommissioned machine guns. Awesome.
Kelli tags along for dinner, and promptly gets sloppy drunk. The old fuckers at the VFW only let country music play, and she keeps screaming, “Play some Edgar Allan Poe!”. At first no one had any idea what she was talking about, though once deciphered, it was deducted that she wanted to hear David Allan Coe. Too funny.
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Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
As part of that, the server no longer stores what topics you have or haven't read.
IT IS STILL RECORDED!
But now, that information lives in a delicious cookie, rather than the forum database.
Upside: this should reduce the load of database.
Downside: if you use multiple devices to access the board, or you reject delicious cookies, you won't always have that information cookie. But the New Posts feature should take care of that.
PLEASE NOTIFY THE ADMINISTERRERRERR ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS!
2024 LOGIN/Posting ISSUES
Click if you have a problem.
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If you cannot Debauch because you get an IP blacklist error, try Debauching again time. It may work immediately, it may take a few attempts. It will work eventually, I don't think I had to click debauch more than three times. Someone is overzealous at our hosting company, but only on the first couple of attempts.
If you have problems logging in, posting, or doing anything else, please get in touch.
You know the email (if you don't, see in the registration info below), you know where to find the Administerrerrerr on the Midget Circus.
Some unpleasant miscreant was firing incessant database queries at our server, which forced the Legal Department of our hosting company, via their Abuse subdivision, to shut us down. No I have none.
All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.
To restrict further overloads, any unregistered users had to be locked out.
How do we know who is or isn't an unregistered user?
By forcing anyone who wants in to Log In.
Is that annoying?
Yes. But there's only so much the Administerrerrerr can do to keep this place running.
Again, if you have any problems: get in touch.
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Tell him who you are, that you wish to join, and what you wish your username to be. The Administerrerrerr will get back to you. If you're human, and you're not a damn spammer, expect a reply within 24 hoursish. Usually quicker, rarely slower.
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Posting this address in clear text is just the "on" switch for spambots, but here is a hint.
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Umah Thurman Midget Circus
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A day in a life...
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xaos
- Zaouse!
- Location: North Shore of Oahu
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rolly
- Tim Horton hears a Who?
- Location: Greater Trauma Area
- Contact:
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WeAintFoundShit
- Ayatollah of Mayhem
- Location: Davis
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Rench
- the Harm in Harmony
- Location: Chicago
- Contact:
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xaos
- Zaouse!
- Location: North Shore of Oahu
