First, let me say I'm cool with whichever wave of feminism we're in now. 3rd, 4th, 5th, whatever. I'm down with it. Really. Mrs. Rench makes significantly more than I do, the Renchlette is allowed to explore and pretend whatever strikes her, most days princesses, some days the garage, whatever. It's no big deal.
There are SOME THINGS though, that the man of the house should be reasonably irreplaceable for. Until now.
Mrs. Rench, at 19 weeks pregnant, demanded this gawd-awful pillow thing called a Snoogle this week. After a fair amount of searching, I found one, even in her preferred color, and it takes up half the damn bed. She loves it, and immediately contorts the thing around her, declaring it the best gift ever. I casually point out "hon, it's spooning you. You know I used to do that til you complained about being hot, me not doing it right, and then me breathing..."
So I sleep all night on what has now been reduced to 1/4 of our full size bed (I never had more than 1/3, but now with baby AND Snoogle...). At 6 AM, the Renchlette comes running into our room, half whining about a bad dream while Mrs. Rench gets in the shower. "It's ok honey, just a dream, come here..." and she dutifully jumps under my open arm. Then starts twitching. rolling around, and finally "Daddy, can I sleep on mommy's pillow?"
"umm, sure..."
"YAY!!!!" Dives into the Snoogle and passes right out.
I've been supplanted by a pillow. FML. FTW.
I'm glad I put the wood stove in the garage last year. Looks like I need to add a cot...
-Rench
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All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.
To restrict further overloads, any unregistered users had to be locked out.
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Fuck Snoogles: A Rant
-
Rench
- the Harm in Harmony
- Location: Chicago
- Contact:
Fuck Snoogles: A Rant
"I'm not a schemer..."
"Do you know why it's illegal to put gasoline in a glass container?" - Piccinni
"Do you know why it's illegal to put gasoline in a glass container?" - Piccinni
-
rolly
- Tim Horton hears a Who?
- Location: Greater Trauma Area
- Contact:
-
xtian
- Le coureur de lames chasse Tinti...
- Location: belgium
- Contact:
Re: Fuck Snoogles: A Rant
are you crazy ?! take this post off !! if all the other women around discover this thing, we'll all be sleeping on the couch in minutes !
I'm not really from around here.
-
Bigshankhank
- Fully Autonomous Cock-Puncher
- Location: Exiled to Living in a Van Down By The River
- Contact:
Re: Fuck Snoogles: A Rant
My wife dreams of having Richard Hammond for a husband, so it could be worse. My advice? Get a bigger bed. Honestly, I love my wife but I need my space when I sleep. Spooning and snuggling is limited to a moment or two following coitus, after which we clean up and roll over to dream of boobs (or the Hamster). Investing in a king was one of the smartest things we have done.
It's time for Humankind to ditch the imaginary friends of our species' childhood and grow the fuck up.
-Davros
"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"
Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness
Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.
-Davros
"Lasse mich deine Seele dem Herrscher der Finsternis opfern"
Let me sacrifice your soul to the ruler of darkness
Always carry a bottle of whiskey when you travel in case of a snakebite. Futhermore, always carry a small snake.
-
piccini9
- Everybody dies. It's a love story.
Re: Fuck Snoogles: A Rant
Breathing? You've got some nerve pal.
Adding pink and unicorns makes everything better.
-roadmissile
Treatment may include things like riding motorcycles and crocheting… whatever it takes to counteract the deleterious effects of existence. - Rolly
-roadmissile
Treatment may include things like riding motorcycles and crocheting… whatever it takes to counteract the deleterious effects of existence. - Rolly
-
DerGolgo
- Zaphod's Zeitgeist
- Location: Potato
Re: Fuck Snoogles: A Rant
Maybe it'll get better once the passenger has disembarked?
If there were absolutely anything to be afraid of, don't you think I would have worn pants?
I said I have a big stick.
I said I have a big stick.
-
stiles
- Ayatollah of Mayhem
- Location: Mid Atlantic
Re: Fuck Snoogles: A Rant
There's a meme going around ye olde intert00bz at the moment involving a photo of a couple spooning, and the caption goes like this:
for the woman: warmth, bla bla etc etc
for the man: a faceful of hair, a dead arm and a questionable boner
pretty much sums it up, IME
...and yes, do get a bigger bed now. You (all) need it.
for the woman: warmth, bla bla etc etc
for the man: a faceful of hair, a dead arm and a questionable boner
pretty much sums it up, IME
...and yes, do get a bigger bed now. You (all) need it.
"If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap" - Frank Zappa
-
Zer0
- Professor of Poop
- Location: Smoggy Valley--east of Smog City
Re: Fuck Snoogles: A Rant
I love you, Rollly. I'm gonna mystery gift that to myself this Xmess.rolly wrote:Quit whining and just get one of these for yourself.
'74 R90/6--Thor
'05 Sportster 1200--FrankenRat
'05 Sportster 1200--FrankenRat
My boy D when he was 4 wrote:Bones aren't important--we like motorcycles.
High Kommand wrote:That's the problem with giving a bike a girl's name. Too much temptation to lay it down to examine the undercarriage...
-
Zer0
- Professor of Poop
- Location: Smoggy Valley--east of Smog City
Re: Fuck Snoogles: A Rant
Rench is catching on. Once the pregnation starts, we're moved to the periphery.Rench wrote:I'm glad I put the wood stove in the garage last year. Looks like I need to add a cot...
'74 R90/6--Thor
'05 Sportster 1200--FrankenRat
'05 Sportster 1200--FrankenRat
My boy D when he was 4 wrote:Bones aren't important--we like motorcycles.
High Kommand wrote:That's the problem with giving a bike a girl's name. Too much temptation to lay it down to examine the undercarriage...
-
Mk3
- Captain Sensible, Space Command.
- Location: The people's republic of Illinois Welcome comrade, join the party!
Re: Fuck Snoogles: A Rant
hammock in the garage dude. or a good desk chair (reference the old man). Seriously, given the option, which you now have, a hammock beats the tar out of every cot I've ever had the displeasure of notsleeping on. also I'm adding the lightbulb emoticon because I think it looks like a vagina. no other reason at all. 
"...when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES "!
"UTMC, it's an international disorganization of racers, aficionados, mechanics, lunatics, and scumbags. It's like an online motorcycle Mos Eisley."
"UTMC, it's an international disorganization of racers, aficionados, mechanics, lunatics, and scumbags. It's like an online motorcycle Mos Eisley."
-
Metalredneck
- Largely Uncontroversial
Re: Fuck Snoogles: A Rant
This may prevent all that rough, unwanted spooning.rolly wrote:Quit whining and just get one of these for yourself.
Done.