Choose Your Own Apocalypse, America!

[rolly]

http://www.slate.com/id/2223285/

So many choices, and I can only take five. So unfair.

You are a humanitarian internationalist. You're convinced mankind will terminate America—but at least we won't off ourselves in the process. You'll know you're right when: Everyone on Earth pledges allegiance to a world government; the feds default on the national debt.

[piccini9]

144? That's just gross.

I vote for plague, or meteor strike.

[DerGolgo]

Looking at all of these, a lot of them seem to be...connected. I'd say that if it does happen, about twenty or thirty things from the list will combine...while an individual scenario might turn out to be not as bad, the combination of dozens of them, slowly coming together over a decade or two, would do the job.

Scary stuff.

[rolly]

Looking at all of these, a lot of them seem to be...connected. I'd say that if it does happen, about twenty or thirty things from the list will combine...while an individual scenario might turn out to be not as bad, the combination of dozens of them, slowly coming together over a decade or two, would do the job.

Scary stuff.

Maybe I should have linked directly to the thing instead of the article: This thing here, click on it.

You get to choose up to five scenarios from the list and get a result. For instance, Piccini's meteors and plague yields:

You are a Gaia-hating doomsayer. You're sure the natural world will destroy us, and there's nothing we can do about it. You'll know you're right when: America gets crushed by an asteroid; a new ice age buries us under a glacier.

[DerGolgo]

You are a humanitarian internationalist. You're convinced mankind will terminate America—but at least we won't off ourselves in the process. You'll know you're right when: Everyone on Earth pledges allegiance to a world government; the feds default on the national debt.

World government? Bollocks.

BTW: I chose Corporate Takeover, Privatization, Wealth Gap, China unloads U.S. Treasury and Peak Oil.

Tried a few reasonable sounding combinations now. Isolation of Elites, Math and Science also sound fairly plausible, as do peak-water and megadrought. Always turns out the same, though.

[Davros]

You are a Gaia-hating doomsayer. You're sure the natural world will destroy us, and there's nothing we can do about it. You'll know you're right when: America gets crushed by an asteroid; a new ice age buries us under a glacier.

Yep, that's exactly what I got as well. And it's accurate.
I had to look up what the fuck a Gaia is. And sure enough, I do hate it. I hope the earth gets hit by an asteroid. a big one. Toward the end of what would be my natural lifetime would be ideal. Just to gloat a little bit before I kick off.

[piccini9]

You are a fretful doomsayer. You don't know whether to blame man or nature for the impending apocalypse, but you know it's coming—and it's going to be really, really bad. You'll know you're right when: A group of baddies lets smallpox loose in the United States.

OK I played the thing. Not sure if it was relevant to America in particular or not, but it should be fun.
-and it's going to be really, really bad.

[Caliann]

You are a humanitarian internationalist. You're convinced mankind will terminate America—but at least we won't off ourselves in the process. You'll know you're right when: Everyone on Earth pledges allegiance to a world government; the feds default on the national debt.

Man has shown himself to be quite capable of screwing things up considerably without any help from anyone...Gaia and aliens notwithstanding.