seems everything just hurts too much

Abadon357 · Post by **Abadon357** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 3:43 pm

yall im drowning here ...seems that everything just hurts too much
...thought it was a good thing that i wasnt the one responsible but now there is no closure...i cant sleep and dont want to eat and the only thing that feels good is way too fast on crowded roads...i thought i was supposed to be glad to be alive and now i just want to die.....too confused to be of use and what do i do????lost and alone for the first time in my life,,,i used to feel his heart beating half the country away,,now just silence.......my twin gone ..and suddenly the world is different colder and less forgiving
does this ever stop ,, will the world give me a reason or am i fated to follow him......sorry yall but im lost

Post by **DerGolgo** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 4:16 pm

Man, I wish I could tell you something that would help you.
You should probably talk about your feelings face to face with someone you trust and love.

Guder · Post by **Guder** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 5:15 pm

The notion that time heals all wounds is bullshit. At best time will numb the raw edges of those holes you can’t mend. Even in those cases, it isn’t time but the gradual decay of the requisite nerve endings that allows the throbbing ache to dull into the background noise of existence.

The only hope you have is inside yourself. I don’t want to sound cliche, but you really need to take a moment to step away from your situation and think of what you would want for your brother were the situation reversed. Then you need to do your best to live up to that.

I would first take a couple of weeks to dangle dangerously close to the abyss while bellowing at the gods and kicking the walls, but that’s what I would try to come back to.

If you have religious convictions or people intimate with your life, now would be the time to lean on them. The turning point still comes when you make the decision that you
will climb back from the despair.

If I can help in any way, let me know. Even if you just want someone to vent at who would like to hear what you have to say.

Rabbit_Fighter · Post by **Rabbit_Fighter** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 5:57 pm

Just hang in there as best you can and be good to yourself. The sweetest revenge in the world would not give you back what you've lost. "Closure" can only bring so much peace. Life moves forward and you just have to make your peace with what is to come. Although I've lost people close to me (as had all of us), I have no idea what this is like for you, but wish you the best.

Surround yourself with good company and take care of yourself. My deepest condolences to you and take care.

Ban Guzzi · Post by **Ban Guzzi** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 6:45 pm

You'll pull thru...Guder has it right on as far as I'm concerned. Time is what it takes, no you won't ever feel the same, but look at it as a chance to experiance something new. You can pull positive out of it..

a Buddist view of suffering...(thanks to http://www.hinduwebsite.com/)

According to Buddhism, the world is full of sorrow. None in this world is free from it. There is sorrow hidden behind every aspect of our human existence. Pain is inherent in the very process of living and becoming. Pain is there in the process of birth. It is there in the process of growing up and aging. It is there in the ubiquitous change that take place all around us and in all of us. It is there when we fall sick. And it is there when a human being leaves this world.

Pain arises because our actions are driven by desires of various kinds. We suffer either due to union with the unpleasant or separation from the pleasant. We suffer when our desires are thwarted or when our desires are not fulfilled.

The process of change also leads to continuous suffering. Change and the continuous process of becoming, entail loss of something or the other for a being every moment. Coupled with the fact that human beings have the tendency to cling to things they like, they are bound to suffer as they undergo continuous change and keep on leaving things behind.

Sorrow is thus the fundamental problem which each human being has to understand and make efforts to free himself from it. Ignorance is the root cause of all this suffering. We suffer because we do not have true awareness of the causes of suffering or the right way to tackle it. As long as we live in ignorance, which is the root cause of all Evil, there is no escape for us from it.

But there is no need for despair. It is possible to end sorrow and attain liberation from the process of becoming. This can be achieved by understanding the nature of sorrow, the causes of sorrow and finding the right way to end it.

Abadon357 · Post by **Abadon357** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:16 am

just want to thank you all...im hanging in and seems that 40 over the speed limit feels best right now
i can see now that im gonna live thru this and yalls words are helping .....

Muppet · Post by **Muppet** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 12:48 pm

i echo all the above sentiments... definitely try to talk to someone you know, love & trust, in person about this. take care of yourself and keep yourself safe.

xx

xxxtian · Post by **xxxtian** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 1:17 pm

get drunk, get a hangover, get confused, get embarassed, be a pain in the ass, everyone will forgive you
hard times
every one gets some

Delphia · Post by **Delphia** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 4:46 am

When my fiance left 120k/h in an 80km/h zone in the wet made me feel better, till i held the $4500 repair bill and the $130 car fine in my hands and realised that now i didnt have my girl and i was out almost $5000.

Im not saying that what we are going through was the same, any bitch can be replaced but a twin brother is kinda hard to come by.

You dont want to loose your brother AND your ability to ride (or walk) do you?

My advice... find a gym and use the anger.
Or buy an old crappy car and beat it to death with a sledge, destroying something when you feel realy bad is always good therapy .

badi · Post by **badi** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 2:24 pm

No sentiments from me, just a heartfelt sorry, Abadon. I wouldn't know how to deal with something terrible as that myself so I just cannot offer some good tips. We can only offer empty words here.

Life will not be the same! It is terrible! Face it! I can not help you through it, nobody can. It's you who has to deal with it.

Just don't be stupid! Every over-the-edge reaction will make matters only worse, so, please, try to stay sane. Stay strong!

badi out

Abadon357 · Post by **Abadon357** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 5:25 pm

just want everyone to know that altho im still hurting im not going to do anything stupid
im getting thru this with help from yall and good ole jack black ..and my freinds who have gathered to support me in my time of need ..once more i just want to thank all of you and know that if yall need anything just let me know i will fdo what i can

Wiley · Post by **Wiley** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 4:12 pm

I've lost brothers, blood and otherwise. The best tribute is to live well the way they would've wanted to. I hope you have people that know what is going on close by. Wiley

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 6:58 am

wiley,i hear what you are saying,,but my bro had i bit of a prolem (which got him killed) and i will try to live in a way that will show him that you dont have to be a hardass and live full of hatred
im trying my best to be a better person these days and to help as many hurting souls as i can

yall im gonna live thru this and am already better for the experience ..and once again i thank you all

Abadon357 · Post by **Abadon357** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 6:59 am

the above was posted by me opps forgot to log in

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seems everything just hurts too much

seems everything just hurts too much

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