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The penalty for eating out of my garden is DEATH

A forum for the off topic stuff. Everything from religion to philosophy to sex to humor (see why it used to be called Buggery?). All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged.
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Sisyphus
Rigging the Ancient Mariner
Location: The Muckworks
Contact:

The penalty for eating out of my garden is DEATH

Post by Sisyphus » Wed Aug 12, 2009 4:51 pm

I just shot the shit out of a skunk in my garden. Fucker was eating the tops of my potato plants, the ducks were all running around quacking and wouldn't go into their house (skunk was between them and it)...
I go out there like, "What the fuck--holy shit, there he is!" Blammo. I suppose .223 was a little over the top but its the only thing I had.

Now, I have to dispose of the body. Eew.


Sent from my POS laptop plugged into the wall

User avatar
Groove
El Monstro De La Noche
Location: Northern NY (The most North-ist part)

Post by Groove » Wed Aug 12, 2009 4:55 pm

LOL. I once shot a woodchuck with a .270 Savage, there wasn't much left of it.
#############
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09 KLR (Gonzo)
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roadmissile
Chief Marketing Schwaggerizer
Location: CO

Post by roadmissile » Wed Aug 12, 2009 7:02 pm

RevCBL wrote:Also, are you going to make a hat?
I vote for the hat!

/RM
/Speed is our religion.

"If requests are an option, I'd like to be hit by a beautiful and highly trained nurse, driving a marshmallow. Naked. And then she would buy me an ice cream." - Rev

icycle
El Asbestos Pajamas
Location: hampton

Post by icycle » Wed Aug 12, 2009 8:13 pm

An air rifle is pretty effective for pesky rodents. Did you eat it?

EIF
Magnum Jihad
Location: in-transit

Re: The penalty for eating out of my garden is DEATH

Post by EIF » Wed Aug 12, 2009 9:43 pm

Sisyphus wrote: I go out there like, "What the fuck--holy shit, there he is!" Blammo. I suppose .223 was a little over the top but its the only thing I had.
Funny, just yesterday I had a conversation with a female coworker concerning the speed-of-kill as a factor in preventing musk release. Will a clean kill headshot prevent spraying? Inquiring minds with skunks living waaay to close by want to know. We took the last skunk that was hanging around "swimming". And yes, the root of the family tree is in Palermo.
Don't mix your Viagra with your Boniva, you'll only end up with stiff knees

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Flatline
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Seattle
Contact:

Post by Flatline » Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:02 am

roadmissile wrote:
RevCBL wrote:Also, are you going to make a hat?
I vote for the hat!

/RM
Another vote for the hat!
You build it, we break it.

User avatar
rubber buccaneer
Magnum Jihad

Post by rubber buccaneer » Thu Aug 13, 2009 3:43 am

Flatline wrote:
roadmissile wrote:
RevCBL wrote:Also, are you going to make a hat?
I vote for the hat!

/RM
Another vote for the hat!
+1. With pics.
———————
keeper of the man-t-hose™️

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Bo_9
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Filthy little worn-out, broken down, see through soul.

Re: The penalty for eating out of my garden is DEATH

Post by Bo_9 » Thu Aug 13, 2009 3:58 am

EIF wrote:
Sisyphus wrote: I go out there like, "What the fuck--holy shit, there he is!" Blammo. I suppose .223 was a little over the top but its the only thing I had.
Funny, just yesterday I had a conversation with a female coworker concerning the speed-of-kill as a factor in preventing musk release. Will a clean kill headshot prevent spraying? Inquiring minds with skunks living waaay to close by want to know. We took the last skunk that was hanging around "swimming". And yes, the root of the family tree is in Palermo.
Growing up we regularly dispatched one or two a month in the summer I only remember one that did not drop the bomb. Most of them were good head shots with the trusty 22. So based on that anectodal information, I do not believe the method of dispatch matters.
When an old man dies a library burns...

"Every accident involving machinery begins with a single defect. Never forget that defect can be between your ears." - E.J. Potter
"I feel like I'm in "my little pony" HELL!!!!" -Goose
"Well, he never ever smiled, but he always seemed pleased."
"keep about your wits, Know yourself and who you came in with"

rc26
The Devil's Banana
Location: Va.

Post by rc26 » Thu Aug 13, 2009 4:27 am

I like the hat idea too...go for it.

Next time, use a .50 BMG and let us know what happens...
"I reject your reality and substitute my own" - Stole it.

MoraleHazard
Vatican Sex Kitten
Location: Stamford, CT

Post by MoraleHazard » Thu Aug 13, 2009 4:37 am

+ hat
666(k) Retirement Plan of the Beast. Only offered by Dis Annuities.
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'91 EX500 (sold)
'04 R1150R

____________

It's like getting bitten by a radioactive horse and instead of getting a really large cock you turn into a brony.

Metalredneck
Largely Uncontroversial

Post by Metalredneck » Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:13 am

One more, and you can have the coolest mitts.
Done.

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Sisyphus
Rigging the Ancient Mariner
Location: The Muckworks
Contact:

Re: The penalty for eating out of my garden is DEATH

Post by Sisyphus » Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:31 am

Bo_9 wrote:
EIF wrote:Funny, just yesterday I had a conversation with a female coworker concerning the speed-of-kill as a factor in preventing musk release. Will a clean kill headshot prevent spraying? Inquiring minds with skunks living waaay to close by want to know. We took the last skunk that was hanging around "swimming". And yes, the root of the family tree is in Palermo.
Growing up we regularly dispatched one or two a month in the summer I only remember one that did not drop the bomb. Most of them were good head shots with the trusty 22. So based on that anectodal information, I do not believe the method of dispatch matters.
I have to agree. Didn't seem like he was going to let it go but he was taking a bit too long to kick, then *poof* all of a sudden it stank reeeealy bad and he was dead. I shot him between the shoulder blades, angled forward so I didn't gut shoot him with all this in mind. The head shot was kind of risky for the same reason; if I missed he'd surely get me. I was only about four feet away.
If I had the stomach for skinning him and I didn't think that skunk hides weren't tacky then sure, I'd make a hat and move to West Virginia. The mitts, eeh, their fur is more like hair. Thin and wispy.

My wife has reported a larger skunk has been raiding the compost pile. So the free fire zone is still in effect. I'll have to have the presence of mind to post a pic next time.

Palermo is actually pretty close to here. I'm in Appleton, the bad part (Burketville).
Sent from my POS laptop plugged into the wall

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GOSTAZ
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Straight outta Rockville, yo.

Post by GOSTAZ » Thu Aug 13, 2009 6:40 am

With skunks? There is no such thing as overkill. I will beat anything, anytime, with extreme prejudice if they bogart the tomaters....

I blasted a squirrel with a .308 once, or at least I think I got 'em, was not much left to autopsy, save a little fluff and blood mist. Not advocating indiscriminate killing for sport, this little fucker was diseased and hungry, and had chewed up the barn. He had to go.
Primitive and Useless

Aliquando et insanire iucundum est.

Pattio
Centrifugal Savant of Two Wheel Transportation
Location: the Olde Wheelery

Re: The penalty for eating out of my garden is DEATH

Post by Pattio » Thu Aug 13, 2009 6:56 am

Sisyphus wrote:So the free fire zone is still in effect. I'll have to have the presence of mind to post a pic next time.
WhyTF would you post a pic? Isn't there a farm BBS where you can blog your exploits? Do me (and anyone else who might think there's nothing funny or cute about this thread) a favor and give the thread a clear title if/when you do, and I will respect your choice to post it while not reading it.

Why would any one of God's wild creatures _not_ want to eat what you planted? Did the skunk ignore clearly posted warnings? You want to brag about something? Brag about how hard you worked building a fence, not how suave you are pulling a trigger. Let me be clear here: I'm not trying to brand you a skunk murderer because of my liberal opinions. People that work the land kill animals, from varmints to insects to the meat I eat. I have no illusions about the hard choices that come with working the land, but bragging about killing is disgusting. If you had any kind of point to make with the original post, except that you were lonely, somewhat bored, and wanted to tell someone that you took a life, share it.
-Pattio-

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Shhted
Magnum Jihad
Location: Mini-apple-ish
Contact:

Post by Shhted » Thu Aug 13, 2009 7:03 am

You need a raccoon for the hat. Hunt on.
Drink beer. As much as you like. Mostly good stuff.

rc26
The Devil's Banana
Location: Va.

Re: The penalty for eating out of my garden is DEATH

Post by rc26 » Thu Aug 13, 2009 8:35 am

Sisyphus wrote:Now, I have to dispose of the body. Eew.
Compost for the garden...

What irony. One minute he was eating from the garden, then becomes food for it.
"I reject your reality and substitute my own" - Stole it.

Sonic Rob
El Asbestos Pajamas
Location: Oakland
Contact:

Re: The penalty for eating out of my garden is DEATH

Post by Sonic Rob » Thu Aug 13, 2009 10:52 am

Bo_9 wrote:
EIF wrote:
Sisyphus wrote: I go out there like, "What the fuck--holy shit, there he is!" Blammo. I suppose .223 was a little over the top but its the only thing I had.
Funny, just yesterday I had a conversation with a female coworker concerning the speed-of-kill as a factor in preventing musk release. Will a clean kill headshot prevent spraying? Inquiring minds with skunks living waaay to close by want to know. We took the last skunk that was hanging around "swimming". And yes, the root of the family tree is in Palermo.
Growing up we regularly dispatched one or two a month in the summer I only remember one that did not drop the bomb. Most of them were good head shots with the trusty 22. So based on that anectodal information, I do not believe the method of dispatch matters.
We had a problem with skunks in the neighborhood where I grew up - they liked to hang out under the neighbor's hot tub, then get in scraps with our cats. After one too many times trying to douse a cat in tomato juice, my Dad got on the line with animal control and was informed that if they trapped the skunks, they'd have to trap and kill all of our neighborhood squirrels, feral cats, etc. Being a big facon of feral cats (don't ask), Pop went and got a cage, baited it with cat kibble, and began catching himself a skunk every couple of days for a few weeks.

He shot them in the head with a .22 rifle and bagged em up into the regular city trash, which I'm not sure is ok but there you go. Every single one of them sprayed when they died. Guess who got to wash down the sidewalk outside our house with vinegar solution after every kill?
Roboute Guilliman wrote:A biker's stance should always be robust and dauntless, but never immobile or rigid. Speed is his advantage, and surprise his deadliest weapon. In fluidity he will find success, and in success he shall find renown.
AZRider wrote:Again, speaking as a museum professional, we call the reenactors/costumed interpreters who take it too seriously, "Time Transvestites."
[/threadkill]

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Sisyphus
Rigging the Ancient Mariner
Location: The Muckworks
Contact:

Re: The penalty for eating out of my garden is DEATH

Post by Sisyphus » Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:06 am

Pattio wrote:
Sisyphus wrote:So the free fire zone is still in effect. I'll have to have the presence of mind to post a pic next time.
WhyTF would you post a pic? Isn't there a farm BBS where you can blog your exploits? Do me (and anyone else who might think there's nothing funny or cute about this thread) a favor and give the thread a clear title if/when you do, and I will respect your choice to post it while not reading it.

Why would any one of God's wild creatures _not_ want to eat what you planted? Did the skunk ignore clearly posted warnings? You want to brag about something? Brag about how hard you worked building a fence, not how suave you are pulling a trigger. Let me be clear here: I'm not trying to brand you a skunk murderer because of my liberal opinions. People that work the land kill animals, from varmints to insects to the meat I eat. I have no illusions about the hard choices that come with working the land, but bragging about killing is disgusting. If you had any kind of point to make with the original post, except that you were lonely, somewhat bored, and wanted to tell someone that you took a life, share it.

Hm. Wow. That's assuming a lot of things there, Pattio. That's alright, it was a noble effort to...to what? Make me feel bad? Make me rethink my actions, perhaps change my attitude toward pests? Anyone else who read it and didn't like it had the comity to not say anything. Anyone who had an inkling that the title had something to do with elves at the North Pole were probably equally vexed. Did you think my post was about...about... What did you think it was about? You probably read the first sentence of the OP and were offended, fine, and I apoligize for offending your sensibilities but you kept reading all the posts. Why?

Are you trying to make me feel like an ass hole?

Nice try. Why don't you keep your lofty opinions to yourself and I won't post anything that offends you. Is that a deal? As a gift, I'll box up the next live skunk and mail him to you, just to show my appreciation and good will.
Sent from my POS laptop plugged into the wall

Gauss
Barista of Doom
Location: Denver
Contact:

Post by Gauss » Fri Aug 14, 2009 7:40 pm

Oh go strangle a chipmunk or something and calm your jets.
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Sisyphus
Rigging the Ancient Mariner
Location: The Muckworks
Contact:

Post by Sisyphus » Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:03 am

I will eat him on a Ritz cracker with capers and baby Swiss, and pick my teeth with his little claws.
Sent from my POS laptop plugged into the wall

Gauss
Barista of Doom
Location: Denver
Contact:

Post by Gauss » Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:02 am

I would suggest a nice Shiraz to go with that...squirrel goes best with a Malbec IMHO
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Metalredneck
Largely Uncontroversial

Post by Metalredneck » Sat Aug 15, 2009 9:07 am

Careful skinning 'em. The scent glands are on the inner thighs. (Don't ask how I know.)
Done.

Ames
Megachiroptera Übermench
Location: Denver, CO in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!
Contact:

Post by Ames » Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:39 pm

Metalredneck wrote:Careful skinning 'em. The scent glands are on the inner thighs. (Don't ask how I know.)
THIS POST IS USELESS WITHOUT VIDEO!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Cheers,
Ames.
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you...stranger!
Quid Ita Serius?
You never know how much you appreciate your civil liberties until they've been violated.

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Bo_9
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Filthy little worn-out, broken down, see through soul.

Post by Bo_9 » Sat Aug 15, 2009 4:28 pm

Metalredneck wrote:Careful skinning 'em. The scent glands are on the inner thighs. (Don't ask how I know.)
<snicker>
:lol:
When an old man dies a library burns...

"Every accident involving machinery begins with a single defect. Never forget that defect can be between your ears." - E.J. Potter
"I feel like I'm in "my little pony" HELL!!!!" -Goose
"Well, he never ever smiled, but he always seemed pleased."
"keep about your wits, Know yourself and who you came in with"

EIF
Magnum Jihad
Location: in-transit

Re: The penalty for eating out of my garden is DEATH

Post by EIF » Sat Aug 15, 2009 5:28 pm

Pattio wrote:
Sisyphus wrote:So the free fire zone is still in effect. I'll have to have the presence of mind to post a pic next time.
Do me (and anyone else who might think there's nothing funny or cute about this thread) a favor and give the thread a clear title if/when you do, and I will respect your choice to post it while not reading it.
I certainly respect people's opinions on animal control, management, and harvesting. However, when a thread has the words "DEATH" and "penalty" in the title, it should be bloody clear where things are headed. Read at your peril and post with the hope that dialogue will be at least civil on the topic.

That being said, on my property *I* am the apex predator and protector of all that resides within, that includes plants in the garden.
Don't mix your Viagra with your Boniva, you'll only end up with stiff knees

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