Anyone watch "The Colony"?

Rench · Post by **Rench** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:29 pm

Sorry, reality TV sure as shit isn't culture, but not geeky either.

Anyway, if you're watching, whaddya think? I've been thinking a lot about the Neolithic revolution and other bad ideas in human history a lot lately.

And I gotta tell you, they're doing this all wrong. Seriously, they're dedicating shitloads of man-hours to getting electricity? Fuck it! I've gone months of my adult life without it. Water, food, plant a garden with your spare time.

They seriously seem to be wasting time to recreate the current civilization, rather than changing their standards (note: not lowering, just changing) and living a happy life.

Just my opinion.

-Rench

leftlaneguy · Post by **leftlaneguy** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:40 pm

We watched the first episode. I was disgusted.

I mean, who fucking cares? ALOT of wasted time/energy on trivial bullshit. The other thing: How 'realistic' can it be, when all of your 'found resources' are planted? Also, the very first time my group was assaulted by moto-thugs, and shit taken? I'd have fresh meat, and a new motorbike....

I had an interesting premise, but the execution was/is poor... will not be watching it again.

piccini9 · Post by **piccini9** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:45 pm

Perhaps they should just follow some real homeless people around for a while. I think it's been mentioned here before, but the whole "Fortress" thing is untenable. Gotta live on the move.

Caliann · Post by **Caliann** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 9:54 pm

*reads through the synopsis of the show in Discovery*

A *warehouse*??? In the CITY?

Jeebus Christos on a Crutch, you pilfer your supplies from the city, then you GET THE FUCK OUT if you absolutely MUST hole up somewhere.

Go someplace where there are not 6 or 7 million starving people. Wyoming, for example. Fewer people in the entire state than L.A. has on the East Side.

Got vehicle? Yep. Have pilfered/stored enough fuel to get said vehicle 2000 miles? Yep. Got Atlas of U.S.? Yep. Got firearms and other weapons? Yep. Got ammo, and other range fire needs? Yep. Good, load up and lets go to a state that no one remembers the capital of.....

EIF · Post by **EIF** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:11 pm

I will stoop to reality TV when Stephen King sells the rights to The Long Walk to some sleaze bucket producer. That will be compelling TV.

Flatline · Post by **Flatline** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:06 pm

I've been watching it and it's like "Surviving For Yuppies."

the "raiders" are a joke. I understand the random factor of those, but I agree with the fresh meat and new motorbike. The last show was about weapons that were a joke. It's about being showy and poppy. I'll keep watching just because of nothing all that great out there.

Caliann · Post by **Caliann** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:43 pm

Flatline wrote:I've been watching it and it's like "Surviving For Yuppies."

I wonder how many yuppies will watch it and say to themselves, "I could do that. I'll be fine when the sky falls"?

Rench is right...electricity takes far too many man hours for little result when it comes to things like re-building.

Water first...find an old well? Cool. No pump? Can you rig a windmill? There is a reason there are still windmills next to water tanks all over the mid west. Potable water is the first and foremost necessity. Depending upon your body, you can go weeks without food....you can only go a few days without water.

Then food. Where are you? Were you smart enough to raid the local library on your way out of town for books on edible plants? Put the damn rifle DOWN. You don't waste ammo on rabbits, anyway, and besides, you'll starve sooner on an all-meat diet than you will on an all-plant diet. (Not that you won't eventually starve on either diet...just that you'll have a little while longer on the local plants than you will on a rabbit-a-day diet.)

Okay, you have your water, you have your food....where are you holed up? Old farmhouse that's been used to store hay for the last 30 years? Old mine shaft? Now you expend your energy making where-ever you are EXCEPTIONALLY insulated and as weather-proof as you can. Hide it if you can, make it look not worth while to explore if you can't.

NOW you can start expending energy on things like some solar panels, or other stuff for communication or to make your life easier. I hope you pilfered as much as you could on your way out of Dodge, because even old, tin cans have use.

*shakes her head* Survivor Yuppy? I got sick of the old "Survivor Man" shows....I have been pretty hungry in some pretty inhospitable places, and I have yet to have come to the need to eat grubs or maggots. But Survivor Yuppy? Can't there be a happy medium someplace?

Did one of them manage to save their shrink and bring him or her along?

guitargeek · Post by **guitargeek** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:51 pm

Oh, Zatch, there's lot's better out there to watch, just admit that you're a trash culture junkie!

Srsly, it's like a gory crash site, sickening but hard to look away from.

Sleaze producers will fuck up whatever premise you give 'em, tweezing and lawyering and pussifying the guts out of it until it only vaguely resembles the original idea. A caricature sculpted of shit and glitter.

Imagine how dismal it would be if they tried to make a Road Warrior reality show...

Nerf crossbows.

Flatline · Post by **Flatline** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:52 am

I do like the idea of living in a warehouse...oh...wait a minute.

There's a couple of nifty things like the gasifier as an example. I've heard of it, but seeing how they made it was cool.

I will admit I have a bit of a man crush on Les Stroud. In a totally "I want this dude around if shit goes bad" way. Survivor Man is far different then this. The Colony is all about scrounging off of what humans have left behind. Stroud does make use of whatever crap that man has cast aside as trash, but he also lives off the land. And I'm not talking about eating a bunch of oranges.

Eating bugs, digging roots, and eating left over fish that a bird caught? Hell yeah I want to watch that.

When it comes down to it, I just want the zombies to come. Someone told me once, "There's two types of people: those who are prepared and those that have guns."

roadmissile · Post by **roadmissile** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:18 am

I have to admit I'm a little bummed, when someone was talking it up to me they suggested more of a zombie survival horror style setting. I do think it's funny how many of you are bitching about how unrealistic and plain dumb it is, imagine if they hired us as raiders? People would die, and the FCC would just flat lose it's shit.

/RM

Bigshankhank · Post by **Bigshankhank** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:24 am

Yeah I've watched it, and as per the crowd my wife and I both are horrified at the amount of time spent on bullshit like power, a working shower (WTF?) and pointless weapons. The thing that bothers me most is that the individuals seem to concoct the most difficult methods of doing things, also. The wood gasifier? OK cool concept, but there were a pile of bicycles in the warehouse, why not hook one of them up to the alternator and get a double dose of people getting exercise plus generating some electricity. Fuck, they thought of that on Gilligan's Island!
And that "ex-con" contractor is a turd. The fact that he could build that shower without power tools just proves that he wouldn't make a pimple on the ass of a real carpenter. The fact that there is such a diverse group is crap, too. How come there's no bankers, magazine editors, movie producers (it is LA) or other individuals with less practical trades?
The fact that they approach every other person as a threat is credible, but their reaction to them is fucked up. Why did they steal from the campsite and chase those poor folks off instead of inviting them into the compound? Aren't they trying to "rebuild" society? Don't you need more people to do that? And why, given the fact that they have a working generator, did they trade for another one?
What I think would be interesting is if they had a second "Colony", neither one knowing about the other, and see at the end which one approached the situation most logically. In other words, who would survive better.
Yeah, I will keep watching it I am afraid, but its pretty fucked up.

roadmissile · Post by **roadmissile** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:31 am

Bigshankhank wrote:Why did they steal from the campsite and chase those poor folks off instead of inviting them into the compound?

What kind of post apocalypse survivor are you? The biggest mistake there is running people off instead of dropping them for loot and food

/RM

Disastermined · Post by **Disastermined** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:47 am

somebody make a T-virus, and lets sick some zombies on them

Sisyphus · Post by **Sisyphus** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:10 am

No, I didn't watch it. I have seen the previews, and pretty much right away I chucked it into the "survivor" category: Pseudo-reality TV with cast characters rather than legitimate people, following a formulaic script dreamed up by unimaginative, inexperienced, immature Hollywood-type thrill-seeking morons.

Turns out I was probably right.

Bigshankhank · Post by **Bigshankhank** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:36 am

roadmissile wrote:
Bigshankhank wrote:Why did they steal from the campsite and chase those poor folks off instead of inviting them into the compound?
What kind of post apocalypse survivor are you? The biggest mistake there is running people off instead of dropping them for loot and food

/RM

Barter Town has to start somewhere. Pretty slim pickins for who would be Auntie, though...

Metalredneck · Post by **Metalredneck** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:39 pm

Running Man anyone?

piccini9 · Post by **piccini9** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 5:27 pm

Anyone on the show working on making babies?

EIF · Post by **EIF** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:10 pm

RevCBL wrote:
Metalredneck wrote:Running Man anyone?
That's sort of where this is all leading, isn't it?

Give it time. I've had the "when are reality shows going to need to kill contestants to get ratings" conversation many times since Survivor came out. With existing tech far beyond what King ever dreamed of, it would be far harder than as described in the book if the rules are followed. Ironically, I'd say having the video go snail mail would still have to apply. If the runner was required to send in via electronic means, someone would have the program hacked and the GPS coordinates posted on YouTube before the transmission was completed.

I still think The Long Walk is a better call. You'd have audience participation, GPS tracking, and a live feed so you could just keep a window on your PC open and watch the blips move... And disappear. The only flaw is that if Barack "The General" Obama had any illegit kids, someone would've found out by now.

roadmissile · Post by **roadmissile** » Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:50 am

EIF wrote:"when are reality shows going to need to kill contestants to get ratings"

Not soon enough?

/RM

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Anyone watch "The Colony"?

Anyone watch "The Colony"?